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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28272264">Holiday Inn</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangeyouglad8/pseuds/orangeyouglad8'>orangeyouglad8</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, fluff and pining and yearning, holiGAY fic, holiday fic, i'd apologize but i'm not mad about it, tropes galore, you're welcome in advance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:41:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>53,797</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28272264</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangeyouglad8/pseuds/orangeyouglad8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke Griffin has just wrapped her latest movie right as a snowstorm blows in to cancel her flight home for Christmas. Stranded in Massachusetts and alone for the holiday, she finds a wonderful inn with room available and an enigmatic staff to keep her company. If she didn’t know any better, she’d think she was still in a movie.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clexa - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>277</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1324</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Somehow this ended up being 30K words. I don't know how, but please enjoy and Happy Holidays!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Aaaaaaaand that's a wrap on Clarke Griffin," the director calls out right after a very loud shout of <em>cut</em> and Clarke almost can't believe it. She wipes away the tears that are still streaming down her face and tries to take a few deep breaths to calm herself.</p>
<p>Of course, her last scene of the day, of the whole shoot, finds her in the middle of an underground bunker being held hostage by a man who wants to let the world burn.</p>
<p>Right before Christmas, too. <em>Ho ho ho</em> welcome to the holiday season.</p>
<p>It's all a bit surreal. And she doesn't even have time to process the complex emotions rolling through her right now or the space to let go of her character's fear and anger that's still overflowing.</p>
<p>Everyone claps as she rises to her feet and the PA throws a heavy down jacket over wardrobe before she addresses the crew and thanks the director. Indra took a shot on her eight years ago with the lead role in her second feature and that turned out to be Clarke's big break. She's been coming back to Clarke ever since.</p>
<p>"Great job, Clarke, great job. So happy your schedule cleared up and you were able to come out here and do this one with me." She kisses Clarke on both cheeks and squeezes her hands.</p>
<p>"You know I'll always move whatever I can to work with you."</p>
<p>"I do. Now hurry up and get out of here before this storm hits. I'll let you know if we need you back for reshoots in the new year, and ADR will contact you… you know the drill." It's an order and a goodbye all in one.</p>
<p>She laughs and gives Indra a big hug. "Merry Christmas. Give the family my love."</p>
<p>"The girls will miss seeing you, they made me promise to host you for dinner once we're done with principal."</p>
<p>"Mark me down as a yes."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Your flight is still scheduled and on time which seems like a miracle but you'll have to keep checking on the drive down to Boston."</p>
<p>Clarke works at the fake blood on her neck as her phone buzzes nonstop on the small table in her trailer. "What are you talking about, Madi?"</p>
<p>"Clarke, there's a huge storm rolling in today. There have been weather alerts for like a week."</p>
<p>"You know I haven't checked my phone much on this shoot. Too many distractions."</p>
<p>"I do know, which is why you pay me to do it for you and keep you up to date on important things like major winter storms threatening to cancel the holidays."</p>
<p>"What is this <em>Rudolph</em>? A storm threatening to cancel the holidays? Come on."</p>
<p>"I'm serious, Clarke. Why do you think Indra pushed through on these last few scenes with you and the other actors in the larger group?"</p>
<p>"Because she likes to keep a tight ship." Clarke shrugs and stuffs her personal items into the open duffle bag on the couch. The sooner she can get out of here and to the airport, the sooner she can nap.</p>
<p>Madi, for her part, does chuckle at the joke. As her PA on the last two movies, Madi has certainly seen enough of it. Clarke has a great relationship, personal and working, with Indra. But she is nothing if not passionate and exacting about everything on her set. It's one of the reasons Clarke loves working with her so much. The partnership and language they've built between them has been life-affirming. "If you don't believe me, here, look at the radar." She holds out her phone and it does display an alarming amount of orange and red over the state of Massachusetts.</p>
<p>"Well, fuck me then."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She's barely been in the car for an hour, and making a slow go of it at that, when Madi calls.</p>
<p>"Canceled," Madi confirms and pauses for Clarke to let out a huge groan and string of expletives before she continues. "I'm sending you a few hotel recommendations. Try to get to the closest one for the night. They say it's worse near the airport so I wouldn't keep going that way."</p>
<p>"Fuck. Okay, thanks Madi. Are you okay?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, I'm fine. I was planning on sticking here over the holiday break anyway… Indra said she'd show me some stuff in the editing room."</p>
<p>"Sounds pretty cool. You know, Indra doesn't do that for just anyone."</p>
<p>"I do know that and please stop, you're gonna make me more nervous."</p>
<p>Clarke laughs and hears the texts ping on her phone, plus the weather alert that blasts through as well.</p>
<p>"How are the roads?"</p>
<p>"Absolute shit and I have regret every single second I've been behind the wheel."</p>
<p>"Well…." Madi drawls. She tried so hard to talk Clarke out of leaving, and then of leaving alone, to no avail. "I'd check out the first two I sent you then and if you don't have any luck there, keep going down the list."</p>
<p>"Hey - while you're working with Indra, can you ask her why she picked the middle of bumfuck Massachusetts in early winter for this fucking movie?"</p>
<p>Madi laughs loudly and Clarke smiles for a second. It's the first breath she's been able to take since she started the trek to Boston, hands white-knuckled on the wheel of her strange rental car and Christmas music playing softly to ease her nerves.</p>
<p>"You'd know better than I would. Anyway, first two and please text or call me when you get there, okay?"</p>
<p>"You got it, Mads."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It takes so much longer than Clarke thinks it will to arrive at the first suggestion on Madi's texted list, but when she gets to the end of the long driveway a large, beautiful white inn greets her with what feels like a smile. It could just be the relief coursing through her veins - relief of not having to drive any longer in the swirling snow that has made the roads slicker than ever before, relief of finding where she was supposed to go, relief of hopefully, soon, being able to rest.</p>
<p>It's honestly more than perfect timing. The show has been falling faster and thicker now for the past forty minutes, and the sky has darkened in that way it does in the winter afternoons and Clarke's stomach and back have both been knotted up for what feels like an eternity.</p>
<p>But here, here she can pull up in the u-shaped drive and park in front of the inn and take a deep, deep breath. She shoots a quick text to Madi telling her where she stopped and a fingers crossed emoji that she can get a room.</p>
<p>She gets out of the car and stretches, taking in another deep breath of crisp winter air. It's not as bitter as she'd have thought - there's a certain warmth hiding behind the snow that feels unexpected. But she's coated in mere seconds and aches to get inside.</p>
<p>Someone helps her with her luggage. A large man with the kindest, softest smile she's ever seen. If he recognizes her, he doesn't let on or say a word and it feels like a small gift. She takes a long look at the inn and smiles.</p>
<p>The exterior of the building is adorned with wreaths and garland and bows and white twinkle lights that make it even more appealing in the snow. Now that she's no longer driving in it, Clarke can appreciate how beautiful the white coating makes it all look.</p>
<p>Like a goddamn snow globe.</p>
<p>It's breathtaking.</p>
<p>The kind man informs her his name is Lincoln and he offers to park her car in the back while she heads inside, and if she wasn't so fucking cold and he wasn't an absolute stranger, she'd hug him on the spot. He carries her heaviest luggage up the few steps to the door and takes the keys from her with another one of those smiles and Clarke swoons at the acts of kindness just a tiny, tiny bit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The woman behind the desk doesn't look like she belongs there - brooding, flannel sleeves rolled up to her elbows, a messy braid pulling her hair back, a face that says <em>please don't bother me right now I don't have any answers for you</em>. Not at all someone you'd usually find behind the desk of any place of lodging. She pays Clarke absolutely no attention as she rifles through some papers and files, more concerned with whatever she's looking for than the hopefully brand new paying guest that just waltzed in from the snow.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, Clarke drags her bags in behind her and heaves out a relieved sigh. She knows what she looks like. Fancy coat. Fancy boots. Very fancy luggage to match the bags under her eyes after a grueling week of night shoots. All of it covered in a layer of quickly melting snow.</p>
<p>The woman still barely looks up.</p>
<p>Okay.</p>
<p>Clarke unwraps her scarf and brushes the snow out of her hair, still sticky with hairspray and whatever gunk they threw in there to make it look insanely dirty for the shoot.</p>
<p>She doesn't look up or away from her task. Like she can't be bothered. Like whatever she's engaged in is infinitely more important. Like this isn't her job so she's not even going to try. Odd.</p>
<p>"Hi?" Clarke tries, unsure suddenly.</p>
<p>"Just a second," The woman behind the desk looks a little less surly when she looks up though still not apologetic. Eyes widen in that way Clarke is so used to when people really look at her and she clears her throat. "Yes. Hi. Welcome to the Trikru Inn."</p>
<p>"Do you know who I can speak to about getting a room?" Clarke peels her leather gloves off and cringes at the fake blood still dried under her nails and staining her skin.</p>
<p>"A room here?" Eyes widen in surprise even more.</p>
<p>"This is an inn, right? You just said and the sign outside said and the GPS said..." Clarke tries to shove down the nerves that seemingly cropped up out of nowhere. "Are you all booked up? Am I going to have to sleep outside in the stables? At this point, I'd probably take it..."</p>
<p>The woman has not stopped looking and Clarke notices the exact moment she realizes she has not stopped looking. Clarke would find it weird if she wasn't used to it. "We still have a couple rooms, you're lucky. A few cancellations just came through this morning because of the storm, but usually, we are booked solid for the holiday week."</p>
<p>"I guess this storm is good for something then," Clarke sighs around a low chuckle. "Are you the one who can get me all sorted or do I have to wait for someone else?"</p>
<p>"Well, you <em>can</em> wait for someone else, but I'm not sure who would help you better than I could since I run the place." She shrugs and leans confidently against the desk.</p>
<p>A blush flares immediately on Clarke's cheeks. "Right, sorry. It's… uh… been a weird day." She doesn't exactly know why <em>she</em> apologizes after being ignored upon arrival but old habits or something. She grabs her purse and pulls out her wallet. "I'm not sure how long I'd need a room, but if you have a limit or something that's alright. My flight just got canceled and I can't drive back where I was because the roads are shit plus my accommodations were only for a set time, and I haven't slept in like 20 hours…" she's rambling. She's rambling and this woman is smiling. It's small, but her cheeks lift just a little bit and her eyes, green Clarke notices, sparkle ever so slightly. And, yeah, okay she's kind of pretty when she's not scowling.</p>
<p>"I think we can work something out. We have a nice large room on a corner that might suit you well. It's got a great view of the pond out back and was just yesterday finished with some updates so it hasn't been pulled back into our scheduling rotation."</p>
<p>"That sounds great," Clarke hears herself agree all too cheerfully and would kick herself if she wasn't exhausted and a little bit heartbroken about not being able to sleep in her own bed on Christmas after a long, draining shoot.</p>
<p>"Not a problem, Miss Griffin." The woman smiles a polite, practiced smile like she's probably done a thousand times before as she pulls the keyboard closer to get Clarke's information. So she does have one of those. Interesting.</p>
<p>Clarke blushes a little. Of <em>course</em> this person would know her name, it shouldn't feel like a surprise. And yet. "Clarke. You can call me Clarke. But, can you do me a favor and book me under a different name?" She hates asking, it feels awkward and stodgy and she knows her face is doing that thing where she's trying to make it seem as awkward as it is though people usually doubt her and assume she enjoys all the perks of fame.</p>
<p>"Of course," she lifts her eyebrows in question and it takes Clarke a second to catch up. She's more than just kind of pretty. She's actually kind of beautiful.</p>
<p>"Oh, sorry. Right. Uh," Clarke tries to think of something quickly but all that seems to live in her head right now is the song that was playing in between her GPS directives. The one that seemed pretty appropriate when she drove up the long driveway and around the corner. "Betty. Betty Haynes."</p>
<p>The woman does not look up but something flickers across her face. "Rosemary Clooney. Classic. Great choice." Long fingers type quickly and a smirk lifts one side of her mouth.</p>
<p>Clarke takes the spark of humanity offered and runs with it. Doesn't know why she's trying so desperately to force conversation with someone who really seems like she'd rather be doing anything else and blames her poor choices on the lack of sleep. "Oh! Are you a fan?"</p>
<p>"I own a small inn nestled close to Vermont. You could say I'm familiar."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Reservation information is taken quickly and left open-ended for whatever Mother Nature holds for the foreseeable future. A key is grabbed off one of the hooks behind the wall, jingling against a keychain in the shape of a small golden tree just for that extra touch. And it's official. Clarke shoots off a quick text to Madi that she'll be here until who the fuck knows when - unable to escape the cold clutches of Massachusetts winter just yet.</p>
<p>"Alright, we've got you down so let me show you around real quick." She rounds the corner of the desk and Clarke takes a look at the skinny jeans and the very expensive boots that cover her feet - no doubt she tries to get away with being rugged out here in front of everyone else. It won't work with Clarke's practiced eye. The woman grabs the handle of Clarke's large suitcase and swings the duffel bag over her shoulder easily.</p>
<p>"Oh - no, you don't have to-"</p>
<p>"It's no problem, Miss Haynes," she says, slipping easily into the requested alias. "You're the guest, after all." The woman leads her through the foyer and small lobby, pointing out the library and reading room at the front of the inn, windows providing all kinds of natural light along with a perfectly cozy fireplace off one side of the foyer and the dining room and connected kitchen that take up most of the back of the first floor. Around on the other side is a sitting room. There's a beautiful large gleaming staircase decorated with garland and lights around the banister. "Since you're in one of our larger rooms on the corner, it's a little bit of a walk. I hope that's okay?"</p>
<p>"It's fine for me, but you're the one carrying my bags."</p>
<p>"Oh, I'm used to it." She gestures for Clarke to begin the ascent first and hoists her luggage like it weighs nothing.</p>
<p>"You've really made the place feel wonderfully Christmassy."</p>
<p>"We host an annual Christmas Eve event; a big dinner and get together. A lot of people from surrounding towns come, regulars who have come back, and we even get a few people drive in from Boston. It's a great time of year for us, even with the iffy weather. Just wait until you see the place then...it's definitely <em>something.</em>"</p>
<p>Is that hint of a sly smile Clarke sees or is it her tired brain playing tricks?</p>
<p>"That sounds lovely."</p>
<p>"You're in luck, you've grabbed a coveted spot this year." They reach the top of the stairs and this woman is not even the slightest bit winded which is a miracle. Clarke knows exactly what's in that suitcase and how heavy it actually is. Also, she cannot say the same for herself as she tries to covertly take a deep breath. "Our chef goes all out on the menu, she's been planning it since the end of August which is early even for her. And we have some special readings and events, too. It's a great time." Clarke is led down a long hallway - there are tiny wreaths on the outside of all the doors. It's cute and just bordering on maybe too much.</p>
<p>It surprises Clarke. How easygoing this conversation suddenly became, and how warm this person next to her seems to be. The first real piece of interaction they've had in the last twenty minutes. They reach the end of the hall and Clarke stops beside the giant window that overlooks a copse of trees and a small pond frozen over.</p>
<p>Snowglobe, certainly.</p>
<p>"Here we are, room 13." She shakes the keys and unlocks the door for Clarke.</p>
<p>"No one ever told you having a room 13 wasn't the best idea for a hotel?"</p>
<p>A quirk of a perfectly bushy eyebrow. "We're not a hotel." She holds open the door for Clarke who enters the spacious room. There's a dual set of windows on each wall providing both wonderful light and views. A fireplace with a small fire already lit and warming the space. A king size bed which somehow doesn't look as large as it would in probably any other space. A huge bathroom with a tub Clarke will enjoy sinking into for a very, very long time at some point in the next day.</p>
<p>It's hands down one of the nicest rooms she's seen and she's stayed in some of the best international hotels.</p>
<p>"Here's your room. TV, room service menu, amenities in here…." She opens a closet and there are a few more items, a small mini fridge, a basket of snacks, bottles of water.</p>
<p>"This is great, thank you." Clarke begins unbuttoning her coat and the woman must take that as her cue.</p>
<p>"You're welcome, Miss Haynes."</p>
<p>"You can call me Clarke... when we're alone." Clarke blushes. Hates herself for it just a little bit. Why is she tripping over herself like this?</p>
<p>"Duly noted, Clarke. I'm Lexa. We're very happy to host you for as long as you need." The way she smiles does something to Clarke. It's… genuine. Warm. Everything this person wasn't until five minutes ago.</p>
<p>"Thank you, Lexa." Clarke holds out her hand and Lexa takes it in a firm shake that sends a tingle up her spine. She tries to ignore it. Blame it on her exhaustion.</p>
<p>"Please let me know if I can help you get settled or if you need anything. Kitchen closes at 9, and unfortunately, that includes room service. I'll be downstairs at the desk until the night manager takes over."</p>
<p>Clarke doesn't move from her spot until the door has shut softly behind Lexa's retreating form.</p>
<p>"Well, okay then."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa has just made it back to the front desk professional mask barely intact when Aden rounds the corner. "Anya's looking for you."</p>
<p>She rolls her eyes. "If this is about the dinner special for tomorrow, again, I'm firing her." He shrugs and moves behind the desk. It is hopefully about the dinner special for tomorrow and not at all about the movie star that just booked a room for the foreseeable future.</p>
<p>Not only a movie star but one Lexa has had a very large, very unfortunate, very irregular crush on since her first film. Her heart is still running a marathon in her chest and her hands might be a little shaky, but she will never, ever admit that. Not to herself and definitely not to Anya.</p>
<p>Or Clarke for that matter.</p>
<p>The kitchen is a storm of steam and noise and a smell so divine Lexa's mouth immediately waters as she passes through the swinging door. "You rang?"</p>
<p>Anya stands at the stove stirring something and barely looks up. "I sure did. What's this about our newest guest?"</p>
<p>Fucking hell. Lexa will never understand how news travels so fast in this place.</p>
<p>"Not sure what you're referring to?"</p>
<p>"I'm referring to your biggest crush waltzing in our front door looking for a room at the inn like a damn Christmas movie she could produce and star in."</p>
<p>"An-"</p>
<p>"Lex."</p>
<p>"Who told you?"</p>
<p>"Lincoln saw her drive up and helped her get her fancy ass luggage out of her car and then came in the back to tell me, duh. When are you gonna learn the network?"</p>
<p>Lexa crosses her arms and doesn't give an inch. Anya works fast as the sauce bubbles up to thicken before she lowers the heat.</p>
<p>"Really?" If she could peel her eyes away from the stove she would.</p>
<p>"She's hardly the first famous person to stay here and I'm sure she won't be the last. Though if this storm gets any worse who knows if we'll still have an inn for people to stay at." The wind chooses that exact moment to howl through the windows and kick up the snow into a swirling white-out that masks everything outside.</p>
<p>"Oh, will you shut the fuck up? You know this is different."</p>
<p>"Not really. She's a paying guest. I'm a responsible proprietor. What more is there?"</p>
<p>"You think it's not gonna be a thing? Despite the storm, we've got a full house of people here for merrymaking and all that shit because most of them were smart and came for the week. And she is the It Girl right now… come on, Lex. We haven't had anyone <em>this</em> famous."</p>
<p>"She's still a person. It's just a job."</p>
<p>Anya doesn't even bother rolling her eyes. "Don't act like this isn't some fairytale daydream come true. Who hasn't dreamt about their celebrity crush just randomly waltzing into their town or whatever and sparking up a conversation?"</p>
<p>"An," Lexa warns. Not only is this not a conversation she wants to be having, but it's also certainly not a conversation she wants to be having in front of half their staff.</p>
<p>And she will never, ever, not in a million years admit that Anya is actually right.</p>
<p>"Face it, Lex. This is like a once in a lifetime opportunity. You know I'm changing the dinner special for tomorrow now, right? I gotta impress the movie star."</p>
<p>If she hears Lexa's resulting groan it doesn't even faze her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There are very few things Clarke regrets in her life. Tries to live without them, they're not worth it and they only hold people back. But, she regrets very much the newest addition to her list: falling asleep after a very long, very hot shower and not setting her alarm to wake up in time to order room service before the kitchen closed.</p>
<p>And so she finds herself pulling on leggings and the sweatshirt she usually wears to makeup chairs and over wardrobe, the old beaten, stained, ripped, tragic thing, and ventures downstairs in search of food or a kind soul who will take pity on her. It just happens to be the comfiest thing she's got in her bag anyway.</p>
<p>And yeah, the kitchen is definitely closed and not even one single staff member is there still wiping down that she can bribe with a bat of her lashes or a sweet smile. The dining room is clean and chairs are on the table and the wet floor sign sits in the middle of the floor and Clarke's heart sinks. She might have a rogue protein bar in her bag somewhere…</p>
<p>A few of the other guests are parked around the fire in the library, and some sharing quiet conversation in the sitting room - what looks like a fairly large extended family all wearing some form of matching pajamas, whether full sets or just bottoms paired with something else. It's nice and homey and makes her nostalgic for things she didn't ever even have.</p>
<p>She is so distracted in missing just the <em>idea</em> of a large family Christmas she runs full body into someone. Someone who lets out a quiet <em>oof</em> and grabs her by the elbows to steady them both. Someone who, when she looks up, happens to be Lexa.</p>
<p>"Oh my god, I'm so sorry-"</p>
<p>"Miss Haynes-"</p>
<p>They speak at the same time and Clarke tumbles into a quiet laugh. Lexa has not let go of her arms until Clarke looks back up. "What are you still doing here?"</p>
<p>The question must knock Lexa out of a trance. She drops her hands and takes a few steps back, sliding them into her back pockets. "The night manager couldn't make it because of the storm, so I'm waiting for my backup to finish his power nap and take over at midnight." She briefly meets Clarke's gaze before her eyes flit away and land somewhere else.</p>
<p>"Sounds like a long day."</p>
<p>Lexa smirks. "Probably not as long as yours was. I remember something about not sleeping for 20 hours?"</p>
<p>Clarke's face flares. "Have I mentioned I ramble when I'm tired?"</p>
<p>Lexa smiles. Clarke thinks she hears a sigh that sounds like a small laugh. Her eyes seem tired when she looks back up. "Is there something you needed or were you just walking around?"</p>
<p>"I - uh - definitely slept through your kitchen service and have not eaten in," she scrunches up her face trying to remember the meal at craft service she shoved down her throat on lunch. "Honestly... I don't even remember. It's all kind of a blur."</p>
<p>"Right, right." Lexa nods. "Okay, well. I can help with that." She looks as if she's making the decision against her better judgment.</p>
<p>"Oh, no, no that's okay, I can just attack the snacks up in my room. I'll be alright until breakfast." Clarke absolutely does not want Lexa going out of her way right now, not this late at night, and not when everything about this day has been so unexpected. And she definitely does not want to be <em>that </em>movie star.</p>
<p>"Absolutely not, Miss Haynes. Let's go. Anya's got so much food she won't even notice."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The adrenaline rush she got the instant Clarke Griffin walked into her inn and booked a room has still not worn off hours later. Her thoughts keep running away with themselves up the stairs and to the fanciest room they've got at the end of the hall. Wondering what Clarke was up to, if she was able to rest, if she was comfortable, if she just needed a room until the storm passed or if she'd be here longer…</p>
<p>Her brain is a mess and her focus nonexistent.</p>
<p>She was just beginning to settle into the quiet night after dinner and prep for tomorrow and Anya's parting shots aimed at her so bluntly she'd be impressed if she wasn't annoyed. And then.</p>
<p>And. Then.</p>
<p>And then Clarke Griffin walked smack dab into her with the full force of her body and Lexa's heart might just actually explode.</p>
<p>Clarke. Griffin.</p>
<p>Literally in her arms.</p>
<p>Looking soft and small and so sad it nearly breaks Lexa in half.</p>
<p>And now she sits at the long island in the center of the kitchen with big puppy eyes making herself as cozy as possible while Lexa rifles through the leftovers in the fridge in between Anya's prep, hoping against hope that she doesn't move anything too much.</p>
<p>"Anya made this amazing beef with barley soup for lunch what are your preferences on beef and also soup?" Lexa peeks out of the fridge for the briefest second. Trying not to look directly at Clarke and also unable to look anywhere else.</p>
<p>"Sounds great," Clarke chirps. She offers a warm smile and Lexa tries not to melt.</p>
<p>Clarke Griffin. In her inn. In their kitchen. Smiling. At her.</p>
<p>It is definitely way too much for her gay brain to comprehend.</p>
<p>"Grilled cheese, too? We've got fresh sourdough here."</p>
<p>"Loading me up with comfort foods, I like it."</p>
<p>"Consider it part of the Triku experience," Lexa says surprising herself and keeping her head in the fridge looking for cheese until her face cools. The one part of her gay brain that hasn't malfunctioned yet is the part that finds it necessary to flirt with the exhausted movie star just trying to find some food in her kitchen.</p>
<p>They settle into an easy silence as Lexa pulls out a small pot to warm up the soup, and gets sandwich prep underway.</p>
<p>"I really appreciate this, I'm usually more on top of stuff, it's just… been <em>a day</em>," Clarke sighs and picks up the conversation again. She seems unsure of herself in a way Lexa would have never thought. Not that she <em>knows</em> Clarke, but she always seems so confident and sassy in interviews. It's different.</p>
<p>"Storms make everything crazy," she says gently, buttering the bread and cutting slices of cheese. Anya has the market pretty cornered on cheese supply and has everything Lexa has ever seen and then some she's never heard of before stored away in the fridge. This one though, this one she knows Anya uses anytime she needs to make Lexa a grilled cheese to cheer her up. Lexa tries to ignore that very fact even as she preps. "How far did you have to drive?"</p>
<p>Good. Stay in the safe zone. Traffic. Weather. Easy. Nothing about making your current celebrity crush and Oscar-nominated actress dinner.</p>
<p>"It wasn't super far, just took a while because of the snow. And I'm like, not really used to driving in it to begin with." She makes a face that is somehow so cute it should be illegal. Lexa forces herself to focus intently on settling the pan on the stove and getting it going. "We shot through the night and I wrapped late this morning and tried to get to Logan as quick as possible - my flight out was this evening."</p>
<p>Lexa offers a sympathetic look over her shoulder. "How long was your shoot?" She is insanely curious about what Clarke was involved in and when it'll be done and who else was in it, but she holds back.</p>
<p>"I've been out here for like a little over two months? Yeah, that sounds right." She nods to herself and pulls the sleeves of her shirt up over her hands. "But the last week was just all long overnights and shooting days."</p>
<p>"Guess you needed that nap, then."</p>
<p>"Guess so. By the way, that robe upstairs is fucking amazing, and if it disappears feel free to charge my card, okay." Clarke laughs. Actually laughs, and Lexa's stomach flips wildly.</p>
<p>"Do you want a drink?" It's so abrupt and she blurts it out needing anything to grab on to. Like a drink is going to fucking help.</p>
<p>"Fuck yes, please." Her voice is so throaty and grateful as it crawls up Lexa's spine and moves into her brain rent free.</p>
<p>Lexa retreats out to the dark dining room and dips behind the bar grabbing her new favorite bottle and two glasses. She prays that they won't clink in her suddenly shaking hands and pauses, taking a few deep breaths trying to center herself. Trying desperately.</p>
<p>It's not like she's starstruck, she's not. She's. Not. They've hosted celebs before and major chefs and a few politicians. She's not starstruck.</p>
<p>It's just that Clarke's eyes are even bluer in person. And her face is even prettier. And her laugh greater and raspier than she could have imagined. And Lexa can't not look at her even though she's trying not to stare with every fiber of her being but everything in her body is buzzing.</p>
<p>Clarke is.</p>
<p>Magnetic.</p>
<p>And Lexa finally understands what it <em>is</em> about the people on screen. They just radiate something else entirely.</p>
<p>"This is a new bourbon we got recently after some recommendations and I fell in love with it. If that's not your speed I can grab you anything you like…" She offers up the bottle for Clarke to see.</p>
<p>"I love Stillhouse actually. I'll take it on the rocks." She says it around a smile and there goes Lexa's heart again. She distracts herself with the ice and pours them both two fingers, sliding Clarke's over.</p>
<p>"Here's to snow," Clarke offers up her glass in cheers.</p>
<p>"And cancelations," Lexa responds.</p>
<p>They clink glasses and Lexa tries not to down the drink like a lifeline.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke ends up forcing half her sandwich on Lexa who tries to drown out the small, grateful moan that slips from Clarke's lips as she takes her first bite. She feels her ears heat up though Clarke looks too distracted to notice.</p>
<p>Small blessings.</p>
<p>She washes up while Clarke eats and pours herself another bourbon - Aden should be checking in soon to take over for her so she can at least try to get a few hours of sleep. Though, after her night with Clarke that seems more and more unlikely with each passing moment.</p>
<p>"Can I ask you something?"</p>
<p>"Yeah," Clarke looks almost excited at the request.</p>
<p>"Is that blood on your shirt?"</p>
<p>And that laugh, that full body laugh. "Yes, but it's fake I promise! This is my makeup shirt so I don't care if it gets dirty, as you can tell."</p>
<p>"Probably should have asked you that before I brought you into my kitchen." She smirks. What the fuck, why is she smirking at this poor tired actor?</p>
<p>"I won't tell the health inspector if you won't." Clarke's voice dips into a low conspiratorial tone that almost buckles Lexa's knees.</p>
<p>"Cheers to that," Lexa says around a sip, hoping against hope this bourbon will distract her and knowing full well that it will not.</p>
<p>"So, how long have you been here?"</p>
<p>"Here here, or at Triku?"</p>
<p>"Both, I guess."</p>
<p>"Anya and I moved here about eight years ago when this property went on the market. It was everything we dreamed. It took us a couple of years to find our footing but it's been pretty great for the last few."</p>
<p>Clarke's face seems to fall just the slightest bit when Lexa mentions Anya. Interesting.</p>
<p>"Can I top you off?" Lexa nods to her glass and Clarke nods.</p>
<p>"I usually celebrate finishing a shoot. I've never worked this close to the holidays before, it feels strange to… not do that." Her voice sounds so sad and so tired.</p>
<p>"I can't imagine," Lexa offers.</p>
<p>"How'd you get into the inn business?" Clarke changes the subject back to Lexa quickly.</p>
<p>"Long story, actually. The short version is I was fresh out of college and coming off a breakup with someone I relocated for and needed a job quick - hadn't planned on needing to sustain myself as a single person - and I grabbed a night desk job at this boutique hotel in the city. And the rest is history."</p>
<p>"Kind of amazing how life works out like that sometimes isn't it? I mean, not about the breakup, breakups suck." She makes a face and sips her bourbon and Lexa tries not to react knowing full well Clarke just suffered a high-profile breakup at the beginning of the year. "But, you know, the rest of it."</p>
<p>"I do and you're right. I can't imagine doing anything else."</p>
<p>The way Clarke meets her eyes slings an arrow right through her. Cupid is a little early, might be time to check his watch.</p>
<p>Just as she's about to ask another question Clarke's phone lights up on the counter next to her and buzzes loudly. She offers Lexa a sad look and an apology. "It's my mom… I've gotta take this."</p>
<p>"Of course." Lexa steps back and grabs the bottle of bourbon, stoppering it back up to put away to give Clarke her space. She tries to ignore the way Clarke's voice gets small and breaks around a "Hi, Mom."</p>
<p>Finds her way back out to the front desk through the other side of the dining room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The snow is well up to her knees on the path back to the inn and sparkles in the bright late morning sunshine and not even the bitterly cold wind or the dark gray purple cloud in the distance promising more snow can dampen her spirit. They have a big day ahead prepping for the event tomorrow - deliveries and set up will happen this afternoon and Lexa is looking forward to it more than ever this year.</p>
<p>She stomps her boots on the back steps, the kitchen windows already fogged up with steam and whatever Anya has decided on for the dinner special tonight, and steels herself for what's to come.</p>
<p>"Well, well, well, look what the cat finally dragged in." Anya greets her, and that, that is what dampens her spirit. Or tries to. "Tired?"</p>
<p>"Feeling great," Lexa responds. She unbuttons her coat and hangs it on the rack at the back door.</p>
<p>"So you don't want this latte I just made for you then?"</p>
<p>"Oh, no, I absolutely want and need that latte." Lexa reaches for it, dancing between the two kitchen staff who are busy at work. "You know Lincoln and I are going to be busy."</p>
<p>"Too bad," Anya slides it back across the counter. "No coffee until you tell me who was in my kitchen last night?"</p>
<p>"What the fuck are you talking about?"</p>
<p>"Don't toy with me, Lexa. It smelled like toasted bread and soup. And there were crumbs on the floor. You know my clean up is impeccable."</p>
<p>"Dammit." Lexa closes her eyes and sighs.</p>
<p>"Don't think for a single second I didn't know as soon as I stepped foot in here. Come on. Plus, that small saucepan was in a completely different spot than it was last night." She glares. Lesser people would cower but the desired effect on Lexa has dulled over time.</p>
<p>"Miss Haynes needed something to eat. She slept through kitchen hours. I made her grilled cheese and warmed up some soup."</p>
<p>"Grilled cheese, you say? Showing off for her? Did you use the Gruyere from France?"</p>
<p>Lexa cannot give an inch in the staring contest she finds herself in.</p>
<p>"I fucking knew it. You little shit. Gonna be engaged by next year." She smirks and it's over.</p>
<p>"Just give me my fucking latte you ass."</p>
<p>"Put a little cinnamon in there for you today, you're welcome." She winks and grabs a tray out of the oven. "Also, here. Have a muffin."</p>
<p>At that precise moment, Aden comes crashing into the kitchen. "We got a room service order for room 13, oh hey Lexa." He barely notices her. "Two eggs scrambled with cheese and a fruit bowl."</p>
<p>"Wow, your girlfriend is so boring." Anya drawls. If Lexa could afford to slap the smirk off her face, she would.</p>
<p>"Am I missing something?" Aden asks.</p>
<p>"No." They both respond at the same time.</p>
<p>"Hey thanks for the cover last night, Aden. You can head out now."</p>
<p>"You got it." He sets the slip down and heads out quicker than Lexa thought possible. She doesn't blame him, he saved her ass last night but they both worked much longer than usual.</p>
<p>"Yeah, gotta take that up yourself dontcha?"</p>
<p>If Lexa chooses that moment to throw half a muffin at Anya's face no one would say they saw a thing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The inn is already bustling when Clarke finally descends from her fortress. Her eyes still sting a bit after crying on the phone with her mother last night. Lexa disappeared as soon as she answered the call and it was almost for the best - Clarke couldn't hold back her emotions. Not after the long day and even longer shoot.</p>
<p>She has never spent a holiday apart from her mother. Ever.</p>
<p>The tears started up again before they hung up and continued until she passed out. The forecast holds more snow for the majority of the day, making the morning sunshine the worst kind of tease.</p>
<p>The trees are heavy with snow and Clarke can tell there's a lot out there just based on the height around the cleared pathways. If her mother was here it would be perfect. A fantastical Christmas event. The stuff of dreams.</p>
<p>They'll just have to facetime or something and figure it out.</p>
<p>Even with all of that going on, she still feels a pang of guilt for how she left the kitchen last night. Thoughts of Lexa have been spinning in the back of her mind as much as Clarke wishes they weren't. How aloof and off-putting she was upon Clarke's arrival, barely acknowledging anything about Clarke - even just as a <em>guest - </em>and then how warm and welcoming she was in the kitchen… how normal she was. And kind. She didn't try to show off or do anything fancy.</p>
<p>It flustered Clarke.</p>
<p>She hasn't been around anyone who didn't immediately pull out all the stops for her in so long, that Lexa's aloofness felt almost refreshing. Welcoming in a weird way. A return to earth and normalcy that she didn't realize she was craving. Mostly because she shoves it to the back of her mind most days. Her life is her life and she loves her job. It just comes with a lot.</p>
<p>The front door to the inn is wide open and the sun streams in and it's beautiful. She wanders outside for a moment to take in the sight. The sun is blinding on the white snow but the grounds are magical.</p>
<p>There are several trucks parked in front of the inn loaded with wrapped trees and what looks like boxes of lights. Lexa hops out of one and bounds up the stairs to where Clarke is waiting, arms hugged close to her body in the cold despite the oversized maroon sweater she pulled out of her suitcase with a silent thank you to Madi for sending her laundry out earlier this week.</p>
<p>"Hey," she offers warmly. Lexa's face seems to brighten. There's something about the way she looks out here in the sunlight. Her hair is back in another braid and there's an exquisite pea coat on her frame and those same expensive boots on her feet. She looks perfectly New England.</p>
<p>"Good morning, Miss Haynes," she replies softly. Had she spoken this softly last night? Clarke can barely remember. Even though she'd had a nap, she was still beyond sleep deprived and coming off the emotional rollercoaster of living inside someone else's head for a few months. "No coat today?" Her mouth lifts up at the corners. She absolutely looks in her element out here.</p>
<p>"Didn't grab it. Wasn't planning on being outside just yet but curiosity got the best of me."</p>
<p>"I was just about to head inside." She points through the door Clarke is effectively blocking. Clarke sidesteps and follows Lexa inside. As cold as it was, the chill in the air feels invigorating.</p>
<p>"I'm glad I ran into you, actually. I wasn't sure what time you started and I wanted to say thank you, again, for last night. I appreciate you helping me out more than you know." It's not nearly enough, what Lexa did went beyond hospitality into something more, something truly caring, but Clarke hopes that it will do. For now.</p>
<p>Lexa smiles. Her cheeks are so round and her green eyes spark. She works at the buttons of her coat with deft fingers and between that and the way the sun hits her face, Clarke can suddenly not swallow. "You're welcome, it was my pleasure," she says, softly.</p>
<p>Again.</p>
<p>"Do you make it a habit to cook your guests the most delicious grilled cheese they've ever had or am I special? Because honestly, that sandwich was life-altering."</p>
<p>This time, this time Lexa's cheeks pink and she dips her eyes back down for a second before returning to Clarke's. "That was a first," she laughs, and it's the best thing that's happened to Clarke in days.</p>
<p>"So glad I got to experience that with you," she dips her voice a little lower, wanting to see Lexa blush again and not examining why. She is not disappointed.</p>
<p>"Yes, firsts are important, aren't they," Lexa returns back just as easily. And wow is it a lot.</p>
<p>"Well then, I'm sorry I cut our evening together short. I'm not usually so rude." Clarke's mouth runs away with her without permission.</p>
<p>She tosses her coat on the desk with a shrug and her whole demeanor shifts. "Oh. No. No, that's okay. It was your mom." She's wearing a dark green sweatshirt that looks soft and worn and so cozy. The Triku logo is embroidered in gold over her heart, just like the bathrobe Clarke swaddled herself in last night and again this morning.</p>
<p>"It was." Clarke runs a hand through her messy hair to buy some time - trying to ignore the way the sweatshirt makes Lexa's eyes glow - except they follow the movements of her hand. A warm pleasantness buzzes through her with them. "I hadn't spoken to her much during my shoot and well, I had to let her know I wouldn't be home."</p>
<p>Lexa looks at her with what Clarke reads as genuine concern. The flanneled robot is nowhere to be found - it appears the ice was well and truly broken with bourbon and grilled cheese. "How'd it go?"</p>
<p>"About as well as you can imagine. So, if you notice my eyes looking a little puffy, please ignore." Clarke does not want to cry again and if she actually talks about her mother right now she will. "Didn't want you to think I made it a habit of dining and dashing," she says with a sly smile.</p>
<p>"Duly noted," Lexa responds, again matching her tone and meeting her eyes.</p>
<p>"Hey, Lexa, are we gonna unload these or what?" The loud shout from outside draws Lexa's attention. She glances over Clarke's shoulder and sighs.</p>
<p>"I have to go help with that…"</p>
<p>"No problem." It's Clarke's turn to graciously bow out and keep herself busy so Lexa can attend to her own business. Lincoln steps inside, still giant, still smiling, and Clarke finds herself happy to see him even if he is stealing Lexa's attention away. He is wearing a matching sweatshirt and a beanie also repping the Trikru logo.</p>
<p>"Octavia just got here to help," he offers to Lexa.</p>
<p>"Right, okay. Let's get these unloaded so then we can figure out what the hell to do with them." She smiles at Clarke as she walks by, back outside into the cold winter sunshine.</p>
<p>Clarke takes a deep, deep breath.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There is a roaring fire in the hearth, an armchair that seems made exactly for her, and a copy of one of the buzziest books of the fall that she, surprise surprise, didn't have time to read until just this very moment. The book was stacked in the middle of one of the piles of hundreds of books on the shelves and staggered around the room in a way that's almost too messy to be organic. Clarke is over eighty pages in and so perfectly content that all of the drama of the day before seems miles away.</p>
<p>She has a steaming latte and a huge muffin beside her, courtesy of one of the kitchen staff briefly checking in on her. And the hustle and bustle of Lexa and Lincoln and some of the other staff bringing in tree after tree to place around the inn, stomping and barking and laughing and, at a few times almost crashing into various items or people cluttered around the rooms, don't really even bother her.</p>
<p>If she finds herself looking up trying to catch a glimpse of Lexa when she won't be spotted, so be it. Or even better, trying to catch her eye once or twice… it's neither here nor there.</p>
<p>She does notice that Lexa has rolled up the sleeves of her sweatshirt and that the skin of her forearms not covered by heavy work gloves ripples with muscle with the effort. And that her braid seems more harried with every trip inside, and her face has flushed in the most pleasant way - some of it sun, some of it exertion.</p>
<p>Honestly, it's a wonder Clarke has read eighty whole pages of the book at all.</p>
<p>They're approaching the front door of the inn again - heavy steps and some grunts alert to their location, and Clarke tries to get to the end of this paragraph before she's distracted.</p>
<p>Steps get louder and she briefly looks up only to see the group headed this way for the first time. Lexa holds the top of the tree, Lincoln the base, and two people Clarke hasn't yet met help around the middle. She no longer wonders at how Lexa was so easily able to carry her luggage up one flight of stairs.</p>
<p>"By the window." Lincoln tilts his beanie-wearing head in that direction.</p>
<p>"No, it should be by the fire," a short, gruff, woman says.</p>
<p>"We always put it by the window," Lexa responds. She sounds tired. Frustrated.</p>
<p>"Yeah, that's why it should be by the fire this year."</p>
<p>"No. Window."</p>
<p>Clarke watches the scene wondering why they didn't figure it out before they were carrying hundreds of pounds of nordic pine or whatever, but hey if it works.</p>
<p>"O, we have one of the smaller ones still on the truck," Lincoln grunts. "We can put that one by the fire."</p>
<p>And just like that the four of them rotate and spin in front of Clarke and her chair and lean the tree up against the wall by the large window to her right. Clarke can't pull her eyes away or even, for the damn life of her, <em>act</em> like she's still reading and she feels the moment green eyes flit her way.</p>
<p>She doesn't have time to smile or react at all before someone else comes rushing in with the base for the tree and they're off to work again. It takes them almost no time at all to get the tree in the base and the twine and canvas cut open to reveal it. Clarke who has never had a real tree in her life, ever, marvels at it.</p>
<p>The smell is even sweeter now that it's free of the cage.</p>
<p>She closes the book on her lap no longer pretending and sips at the latte that's been cooling next to her. There's a hint of cinnamon swirling around with the espresso and the warm milk and this whole afternoon feels like a damn Hallmark movie. Almost like she left one set and walked right onto another without realizing it. She watches Lincoln, tall burly Lincoln, shake the tree a bit in hopes that some of the branches will fall and smiles. It's such a silly thing but gravity appears to begin working its magic.</p>
<p>The short gruff woman glares in her direction and… okay, that's new. Whatever.</p>
<p>Lexa wipes at the sweat that's collected on her brow and takes a few deep breaths. Her voice breaks through the quiet. "Alright we just have two of the small ones left, so let's get this done and the trucks put away." Clarke can't imagine how bone-tired she must be after all this.</p>
<p>"Yeah, then we have to decorate them," Lincoln says with a groan but a smile plays at his lips. Lexa catches her eyes for the briefest millisecond and Clarke smiles at them as they tramp back out the door. All except for O.</p>
<p>"Hey, listen, I know you're like the big fancy movie star or whatever, but Linc is spoken for."</p>
<p>"Oh," her attitude and frankness catch Clarke off guard and her cheeks redden more than she would like. "No, sorry. I wasn't looking at," she clears her suddenly dry throat, "Lincoln."</p>
<p>"You weren't?" Her face twists. "Interesting." She walks away without another word leaving Clarke utterly flabbergasted in her wake.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Watchful eyes have followed them with every trip in and out of the wide front doors. Beautiful blue eyes that try to stay hidden in the words of the book on her lap but that Lexa can feel all over her anytime she walks by.</p>
<p>It shakes her. Just a little. She loses focus a few times and nearly breaks a two hundred year old table because she cannot believe this is her life right now. Lincoln spares her the reprimands but she can see the frustration all over his face - they're usually much more organized with this task. If only because carrying in twelve extra trees isn't something easily done with little effort. Her muscles burn and her hands are tired and if she has to walk backward for even just a few minutes longer she might scream.</p>
<p>They finally place the last smaller tree next to the fire in the library. They're lucky it's the last one as the sky has just opened up again and the snow is falling fast. Even though it's light big fluffy flakes that look so pretty, it is accumulating quicker than anyone would like.</p>
<p>Clarke is still seated by the fire pretending to read. She hasn't seemed to make much progress that Lexa can tell, but her attention is drawn to the open book that sits across her crossed legs. Lexa shucks off her work gloves and tosses them on the mantle, inspecting her hands and forearms for sap and finding none.</p>
<p>She gets the sense that Clarke is attuned to her though she has not looked up from the book at all since everyone else scattered away after the last tree was unloaded and rehomed.</p>
<p>"That was a favorite of mine this year," she offers quietly, not wanting to startle Clarke but unable to continue to pretend she doesn't want to talk to her. She'd be lying if she said she didn't enjoy having Clarke's attention for the majority of the afternoon as distracting as it was. A hundred questions ran through her mind to ask her, to bring them back together in space.</p>
<p>Luckily for her, she got a look at the title of the book Clarke picked up.</p>
<p>She tilts her head up and it feels like when the sun peers out from behind a cloud when she finds Lexa at the fire. There's a smile there, warm and inviting.</p>
<p>"I'm really enjoying it. I wanted to read it when it came out but I was too busy, I'm glad that I found it here."</p>
<p>"I couldn't put it down when I got it. I think I read it in like two days."</p>
<p>"That would imply that you actually stop working," Clarke returns so quickly that Lexa can't help but laugh. Clarke's answering smile is so big and so bright, proud, and Lexa's hands shake for another reason.</p>
<p>"Wow, okay."</p>
<p>"Just saying…"</p>
<p>"How could you possibly know, have you even been here for a whole day yet?" She looks down at the watch that adorns her wrist, except the watch has been carefully placed in her pocket to protect it from the tree-extravaganza.</p>
<p>"Calling it like I see it is a specialty of mine, and I seem to have hit the mark." She looks so smug. It's a good look. It's a look that flips Lexa's belly.</p>
<p>"Speaking of… are you interested in dinner today? The special has changed about seven times in the span of about twelve hours but it smells divine back there."</p>
<p>Clarke's eyes dim just a little bit, just like they did last night. Huh. "That depends. Is the dining room usually, uh, full? No one has really been in here with me so that's been nice, I think they were outside skating and stuff. But I don't know if I'm in the mood for everyone staring at me while I eat alone."</p>
<p>She finds herself nodding along. "Of course. I'm sure I could help you out with that. And, you know, make sure you're not eating alone."</p>
<p>"If you're offering to make me another one of those grilled cheeses, I will not turn you down."</p>
<p>Lexa laughs again. Has never in her life laughed this freely this much and this early before with anyone. "We'll see."</p>
<p>"So… you brought all these trees in and I see a boatload of lights and decorations piled up over there," she points to the other corner of the room. "When does the magic happen?"</p>
<p>Clarke has to know. She absolutely has to know what effect her voice has on people. On people who are very gay and very single. The way she dips it down into even more of a husk just to toy.</p>
<p>"Very soon. Trying to give Lincoln a break and I should probably wash up a little bit and make sure the guests are all okay. You're okay, aren't you?"</p>
<p>"Perfect," she holds up the book and shakes it. "You're very attentive, don't worry."</p>
<p>And, okay, fuck. If she doesn't splash some cold water on her face and walk away…</p>
<p>She clears her throat. "Happy to hear that." Blood rushes to her face and pounds in her ears. "I'm gonna go," she thumbs over her shoulder awkwardly, "do that washing up."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What the fuck happened to you? Why are you so pale?" Anya stops her chopping and wipes her hands on the towel that hangs over her shoulder. "Are you alright?"</p>
<p>She looks genuinely concerned which means Lexa looks absolutely more rocked than she feels.</p>
<p>"Yeah, just wiped out."</p>
<p>Anya gets closer to her to assess the truth of her statement. "I'm gonna make you some tea, anyway."</p>
<p>"That sounds good," Lexa answers. Somehow. Feels like she's in a daze. Doesn't understand how there is a movie star in her inn. A movie star in her inn, in her favorite chair. A movie star in her inn, in her favorite chair, flirting with her.</p>
<p>Mercilessly.</p>
<p>Has she hit her head? Is this some weird dream she's going to wake up from?</p>
<p>She rounds the back corner of the kitchen to the employee bathroom and takes a good long look at herself in the mirror. She does look dazed.</p>
<p>Like a deer in headlights.</p>
<p>Her hair is a mess and her cheeks are windblown and there's some dirt on her chin. And still.</p>
<p>It can't be real, can it?</p>
<p>The water feels good on her sweaty face and neck and she wipes down her arms too and pulls her braid out to re-do it, but her hands are shaking too much so she pulls it up in a ponytail instead and it'll just have to do for now.</p>
<p>She closes her eyes and takes a few steadying breaths, counting to ten as she does and trying to rid the image of Clarke sitting in that chair in her oversized sweater and leggings from behind her lids.</p>
<p>It's no use.</p>
<p>It's practically burned into her retinas.</p>
<p>And why is she so weird about Anya? Lexa doesn't even think they've actually met yet, which considering how excited Anya is about the prospect of teasing Lexa is pretty huge. Lexa thanks the universe for Anya being too distracted and stressed about their dinner tomorrow outweighing her curiosity and urge to meddle.</p>
<p>"Better?" Anya asks as Lexa emerges.</p>
<p>"Yeah."</p>
<p>"Good. Your tea is there," she points her knife at the steaming cup on the end of the island counter. "Maybe throw some whiskey in there or something - Charlie I swear to god I better not have seen you just dump that whole thing of ground pepper in that salad dressing."</p>
<p>Lexa smirks and sips her tea as Anya rips into her staff. She'll never get tired of watching it. They all adore Anya and want to work for her, and she is a great teacher when she's calm. But, sometimes, sometimes they're fucking idiots. Anya never goes too hard though. Lexa has seen the absolute team the kitchen has become and she couldn't be prouder.</p>
<p>Anya has worked her ass off to get here and she cherishes it. It means the world to her to be able to run her own kitchen and call all the shots.</p>
<p>"So, I think I asked her to dinner."</p>
<p>"You think? Or you did?" That eyebrow raise. That still has the effect Anya wants.</p>
<p>"I mean. I did." She nods. Remembering the words that came out of her mouth.</p>
<p>"That explains the walking dead look you had when you came in here. Wow."</p>
<p>"Don't be rude."</p>
<p>"Honestly, I'm kind of impressed."</p>
<p>"What's the catch?"</p>
<p>"No catch." She shrugs "Do you want to help me with the pasta maker? I know you love that."</p>
<p>"Alright, I don't know what happened to you but who are you and what do you do with my best friend? Also - no, no I do not. I cannot really feel my arms at this point in the day. Can I get some ibuprofen?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Bitch, where the <em>fuck</em> are you?" Raven practically yells into the phone and Clarke pulls it away from her ear thankful no one else has joined her in the library since Lexa left in an awkward huff.</p>
<p>"My flight got canceled and I have no idea when I'll be able to get another one, the airline has been extremely unhelpful. I'm at the Trikru Inn until it stops snowing I guess?" Which will probably not be anytime soon. The afternoon sky opened up and snow is falling fast as the sun sets. It's pretty from inside, by the fire, with coffee and a book. It's peaceful.</p>
<p>"Dude, you're at Trikru? Damn, I've heard amazing things about the restaurant there. You lucky bitch. Tell me, have you had the braised oxtail yet?"</p>
<p>"No! I haven't even had anything really. I slept through the dinner service last night and this morning I just got some eggs. I was thinking about just getting room service tonight but -"</p>
<p>"Fuck off, Clarke. At least take advantage of this situation!" Raven cuts her off before she can expand on whatever just happened with Lexa. Is she just asking if Clarke wants company because she's here alone? And, what about Anya... "I think they have a fucking Michelin star, you ass. Not all of us are so lucky to be at a hidden gem. Some of us are stuck on fucking set!"</p>
<p>"Raven, you could leave at <em>any</em> time." She huffs between a laugh and a roll of her eyes.</p>
<p>"Yeah I know, Indra actually told us all to head out this afternoon for the holiday break. I just was too tired to drive." She sighs and Clarke understands the exhaustion behind it. This shoot has been grueling for everyone including the producers and writers and everyone off camera. Probably even more so than the actors. Raven had quite a busy lead-up to principal too, working on rewrites after Clarke's love interest was recast as a woman.</p>
<p>"Well, there you go. You can't keep sleeping in the production office forever."</p>
<p>"You know that's where I get my best beauty sleep though, babe."</p>
<p>Clarke laughs. "God, you're so dramatic."</p>
<p>"Damn right. Anyway, why did you call?"</p>
<p>"Uh, well. So. I'm finally reading <em>The 13th Station</em> and… do you know if anyone has optioned this yet?"</p>
<p>"Oh. My. God. You are a <em>fucking genius</em>. No, I don't! But are you thinking what I think you're thinking?" Clarke can hear her typing quickly in the background. "I'm gonna poke around and find out. And I'm also going to get this loaded up on my kindle and start pulling it apart." She runs away with the idea before it's even formed like Clarke knew she would. Like she has so many times in the past.</p>
<p>"Are you just assuming I'd ask you to adapt this?" She teases.</p>
<p>"Duh, why else would you have asked me?"</p>
<p>"Because you'd know if the rights have been sold quicker than I would."</p>
<p>"It's the holiday so don't expect an answer anytime soon, but I'm also gonna look through the trades… but I don't remember anything like this being announced."</p>
<p>"Okay, yeah, just let me know."</p>
<p>"You know I will. So, wait. Tell me more about this place." Clarke knows she has Raven's full attention again just from the change in tone.</p>
<p>"Well, it's really beautiful, honestly. I'm so lucky Madi texted it to me. I don't know where else I would have gone, the storm was in full effect. But, they do this fancy Christmas Eve event, and like, I've been watching them get everything ready for it and… Rae, I am <em>not </em>prepared. I don't even know what I would wear for it. I'll probably just hide up in my room."</p>
<p>"What, no, Clarke you can't."</p>
<p>"No, you don't understand. It's like… <em>fancy</em> fancy. They were talking about some of the menu today and I heard some of the other guests who have come before talking about it and it's like. An <em>event.</em>"</p>
<p>"We'll figure something out. FaceTime me tonight and we'll go through your bag."</p>
<p>"We can go through my bag all you want. I do not have anything close to formal enough to wear for this and also I do not need that getting out somehow. I can just see the damn gossip headlines now. <em>Clarke Griffin shows up to formal event in leggings and a hoodie. Too good to dress up for the holidays, is there anything she won't ruin</em>?"</p>
<p>Raven cackles down the line and it brightens Clarke's mood considerably. "I can't believe you called <em>me</em> dramatic. Wow. Message received, Clarke." Clarke can hear her shift to talk to someone else and when she comes back she sounds stressed again. "Hey, I gotta run. Please eat at that damn restaurant tonight, I want a full breakdown of the food when I call you later, babe."</p>
<p>"I'll see what I can do," Clarke smiles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa and Lincoln have been bickering over decorations for the past forty-five minutes. Which, honestly, makes no sense because the decorations and design had been decided months ago <em>when they were ordered</em> but Lincoln no longer feels strongly about them.</p>
<p>"Listen, it took us longer than usual to bring these fuckers in, can we please just decorate them and be done? Some of us worked extra hours last night." She pinches her nose, willing the triple espresso Anya pulled for her to work.</p>
<p>"And <em>some</em> of us were the reason it took longer than usual to unload them." He sends her a pointed look, and okay, fair.</p>
<p>"What exactly are you no longer liking about this theme? You specifically made me order the clip on poinsettias and ribbons to add to the glass ornaments we used last year."</p>
<p>"It just feels basic." He shrugs. "I don't know what I was thinking. I feel like we can do better."</p>
<p>"Well, we are going to have to do better <em>next</em> year because this is what we got, and even if there wasn't a storm and we could go out there and drive around, we are not going to be able to find what you want on December 23rd."</p>
<p>He groans again and throws his head back, rubbing his face. "Fine. But, I'm drawing this vision up tonight and we can reassess for next year."</p>
<p>"That works for me."</p>
<p>Once it's settled. Really settled, the decorations go up quickly. Octavia and Aden are dispatched to the trees in the back rooms and Lincoln and Lexa tackle the ones up front.</p>
<p>"So," he says gently. She knows what's coming. Knew it was coming for the entire afternoon. Doesn't know how he waited this long other than he is the most gentle soul she has ever had the pleasure of knowing.</p>
<p>"So," she answers.</p>
<p>"Do you want to talk about it?"</p>
<p>"Not particularly."</p>
<p>"Figured."</p>
<p>The white lights on this tree, the one specifically chosen to pair with the one that was already up and decorated in the large front window of the sitting room, settle nicely.</p>
<p>"There isn't anything to talk about," she grumbles.</p>
<p>"Are you sure? I haven't seen you this flustered pretty much ever… and you've dated some pretty great women."</p>
<p>"I mean, yeah… obviously the fluster comes with the other factor."</p>
<p>"That she's famous?"</p>
<p>"Mhm," Lexa agrees. "Here can you adjust this?" She points to a twist in the light strand that's just out of her reach and watches the muscles in his arms flex under his rolled up t-shirt sleeves ever impressed.</p>
<p>"She's still a person, you know."</p>
<p>"That's what I said to Anya."</p>
<p>"She's also going to be snowed in here for a while. You could at least try to have some fun. It doesn't need to lead up to the wedding of the century." Lexa is grateful his focus is on the strand of lights in front of him and not her suddenly red ears.</p>
<p>"You know I'm not like that."</p>
<p>"Hey," he stops and looks at her until she faces him. His expression is full of genuine love. "I know. I'm just saying, this isn't an ordinary situation. Don't ignore whatever it is that has you this frazzled. Anything, hell any<em>one</em> that can frazzle you this much… it's worth exploring."</p>
<p>They fall into a companionable silence until Octavia lets them know she and Aden finished the trees brought in to line the hallway and dining room that has officially been transformed into a Christmas wonderland. He leaves to go inspect their work and Lexa tells him to just take off for the night - they only have the two remaining trees in the library left and she can handle them on her own.</p>
<p>Except when she walks into the library carrying the last boxes of decorations she's surprised to see a familiar face.</p>
<p>"Oh. Hi."</p>
<p>Clarke looks up from her book. Still ensconced in the same armchair, but with a considerable chunk of the book read now. When she sees Lexa her face <em>melts</em> into an immediate smile. Lexa almost trips over her own feet.</p>
<p>"Hi," she says quietly. It's something so simple yet so intimate Lexa doesn't know what to do with it. She stops in front of the tree still holding the boxes, almost like she's frozen to the spot. Clarke's lips tilt up into a smirk. "Are you planning on putting those down or?"</p>
<p>"Oh, yeah. Right." She sets the boxes by the naked tree and brushes her hands off. "It's been a long day."</p>
<p>"I've noticed." Clarke shuts the book on her lap. "You were right about this, by the way. I was not anticipating getting sucked in and sitting here and reading literally all day but I can't put it down."</p>
<p>"You should know now that I enjoy being right."</p>
<p>"Oh? Something else we have in common then." Her eyebrow ticks up and her face turns playful and yeah. Lexa is absolutely defenseless in front of this woman. "Who was your favorite character?"</p>
<p>"I know you don't know me well, but I think you might be able to guess?" She slides her hands into her back pockets and tilts up on her toes for something to do with the nervous energy that has encompassed her entire being. Her hands are tingling with it. She praises the universe that her voice doesn't break though it sounds shaky to her own ears.</p>
<p>"It's gotta be the commander, right? If it's not the commander you can turn around and leave right now," Clarke says with a hearty laugh and points to the double doors Lexa just walked through.</p>
<p>Lexa rolls her eyes trying to fight off a smile, but it proves impossible. "Guess I can stay, then, which is good since I have these two trees left to get dressed."</p>
<p>Remnants of her conversation with Lincoln echo through her brain as she bounces again on her toes finding it hard to ignore that blue eyes follow the action and the warmth that blooms in her belly and spreads downward.</p>
<p>"Do you want help?"</p>
<p>"I'd love help." This time she doesn't try to fight the smile that threatens but lets it bloom with free rein. "And don't think I forgot about dinner."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke is surprised when Lexa leaves the library and comes back carrying a battered iPad. "Okay, here's the thing. When I have to do this stuff alone I always have a Christmas movie on in the background. Are you up for that?"</p>
<p>She looks nervous. It's so damn cute.</p>
<p>"Go for it. I'm curious to see what you select."</p>
<p>"I think you'll be impressed," she says, already thumbing through the apps on the screen.</p>
<p>When familiar music strikes up out of the small speaker Clarke definitely, definitely, is impressed.</p>
<p>"Wow. Okay, yeah. I wasn't expecting that. So you knowing my alias wasn't a one-off. Alright - what other secrets do you have for me?"</p>
<p>Lexa blushes. Hasn't stopped blushing all day, if Clarke has anything to say about it. She almost drops the iPad as she places it up on the mantle. And. Honestly. When Clarke thinks about the Lexa of yesterday and the Lexa of today she wonders if they were body snatched and replaced by aliens.</p>
<p>It would make a lot of sense.</p>
<p>She must feel Clarke trying not to laugh because she turns around with "I'll have you know I carried in a lot of very large Christmas trees today and my arms are just a <em>little</em> bit tired." to defend herself.</p>
<p>And, yeah. So damn cute.</p>
<p>"Oh, I'm aware." Clarke drops her voice down a little bit just to see if she can get Lexa's cheeks to pink up.</p>
<p>"Didn't see you jumping up to offer with that part," Lexa retorts, and oh. Oh yes, this is fun.</p>
<p>"So," Clarke wanders over to the box of decorations and pokes around. "<em>Meet Me In St. Louis</em>? Not one most people would pull up."</p>
<p>"I'm not most people." She bends down and moves the boxes off each other and opens both to start digging around.</p>
<p>"I may have picked up on that."</p>
<p>Lexa is still rummaging through lights and garland and ornaments when she starts speaking again. "My mom. She was big into film. Made me watch old movies and classic movies since before I could remember probably. This was one of her favorites - it was always the first movie we'd watch to kick off the holiday season." She pops back up, "Hey how are you with ribbon?"</p>
<p>Clarke does not miss how Lexa refers to her mother in past tense but does not poke at it. "Shit with ribbon, but very handy with baubles."</p>
<p>"Okay let's start with the lights and then you're on ornament duty and I'll work the rest."</p>
<p>"Sounds good."</p>
<p>And so it begins. They set to work in what feels almost too easy of a partnership. Lexa unwinds the long strings of white lights and hops on a stool to work from the top, passing the string to Clarke, and around and around they go until the entire tree has been covered. Judy Garland croons in the background and if she was with anyone else Clarke would probably start singing softly with her.</p>
<p>This has always been one of her favorite holiday movies, too.</p>
<p>She catches herself humming a few times and stops, embarrassed. If Lexa hears her, she hasn't commented.</p>
<p>"I haven't been able to watch any movies this year, or really do anything particularly Christmassy."</p>
<p>"Too busy with the shoot?" Lexa is still fiddling with the lights, making sure the wrap is evenly spaced on the way down, but Clarke can tell that she has Lexa's attention.</p>
<p>She nods, "Yeah. Just. Wasn't in the right headspace for it either. This movie is kind of heavy. Sometimes it's hard to pull someone else over myself like that. I love the challenge though and I trust Indra with anything."</p>
<p>"Oh, it's another Indra film? Well, now I'm intrigued." She offers an easy smile and steps down off the stool, no longer needing the height.</p>
<p>"I can't tell you anymore unfortunately, I signed my life away on a very large NDA so…"</p>
<p>"No worries, I won't dig." She catches Clarke's eye through the branches. "We don't need anyone busting in here to kidnap you or snipe you out or anything either. Besides, hopefully you can play catch up on your holiday feels this weekend. We have a lot of events starting tomorrow morning. And the dinner will be really lovely."</p>
<p>"What kind of events?"</p>
<p>"I've been a very bad hostess, haven't I?" she laughs to herself. "There's a snowman building contest outside, we have ice skating which you already know about, a gingerbread house contest… and maybe a few things I don't know if I want to tell you just yet." She comes around from the back of the tree with a smug look.</p>
<p>"Okay, fine then, keep your secrets." Clarke sticks her tongue out and watches as her eyes darken.</p>
<p>"Well, if you can't tell, why should I? Can't let you have all the fun." She quirks up her eyebrow again and gets really close to Clarke's space before dipping back down and pulling up a ribbon. "Alright, let's get this one done and then we can eat."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They do get the tree fully loaded and looking perfect if Clarke has any say in it. She hasn't seen the others, but she can already tell this one, <em>this </em>one, is the best dressed in the entire inn. Lexa takes a step back and crosses her arms to survey the whole picture and Clarke finds the serious look on her face really attractive.</p>
<p>Is it the holiday that's messing with her mind, the exhaustion, or just… actually <em>Lexa</em>.</p>
<p>Maybe it's the fact that the Trolley Song has reached its full swell on the iPad behind them. And, if there's any song that's gonna get you, it's gonna be that one.</p>
<p>Or maybe it's a combination. A perfect storm of circumstances and extremely attractive women.</p>
<p>Because Clarke's heartstrings are definitely thumping and zinging all over the place.</p>
<p>"Well?"</p>
<p>"I think, I have no changes which might be a first."</p>
<p>"Don't play me."</p>
<p>"No," Lexa laughs. "I'm actually serious. You're very talented."</p>
<p>"Yes, I have an eye for design and I've been on sets with dressers for the past decade. What can I say? I'm amazing." She pops a hip and playfully flips her hair. Lexa's answering smile sets her soaring.</p>
<p>"You are."</p>
<p>And yes. Thumping and zinging and clanging loudly. In her chest, in her stomach, in her ears.</p>
<p>"Dinner?" Lexa whispers into the suddenly taut space between them.</p>
<p>Clarke nods. Not trusting her suddenly dry mouth to form words at this moment. Not trusting her body not to act on instinct.</p>
<p>When Lexa comes back bearing a tray of food and a bottle of wine tucked under her arm, Clarke doesn't think her night is going to get any easier.</p>
<p>"Okay, so Anya is a stellar best friend because not only did she load us up with this ragu she was working on all day, she opened the fancy parmesan she knows I love and allowed me to snag this vintage red from the wine cellar so. We can safely assume she's lost her mind just in time for tomorrow's big event. Thank the universe the gingerbread was all baked earlier this week." Lexa laughs to herself and looks so pleased as she sets the tray down and closes the double doors again behind her.</p>
<p>They've been spending their evening in this little bubble of secrecy. Clarke has no idea if the other guests even know if she's here, or hell, if they even know who she <em>is</em>, but Lexa has gone above and beyond to ensure she has as much privacy as she wants.</p>
<p>Going hard for that 5-star yelp review.</p>
<p>"I imagine having a chef as a best friend has many perks." Clarke doesn't let on the full amount of relief that cascaded over her when Lexa revealed the true nature of her relationship to Anya.</p>
<p>But.</p>
<p>Definitely glad to have that answered.</p>
<p>Not that she noticed a ring on Lexa's hand but. You never know.</p>
<p>She is pretty sure the performance should qualify her for this year's Oscar noms. Globes, at least.</p>
<p>The ragu is delicious with and without the shaved parmesan Lexa suggested and then added on top of Clarke's bowl. And the wine pairs perfectly. And the fire and the end of the movie provide a backdrop that creates the perfect ambiance.</p>
<p>They sit cross-legged on the floor and trade stories about favorite old movies, holiday memories, best presents.</p>
<p>They sit on the floor so long that Clarke loses feeling in her toes but doesn't even want to shift, not an inch.</p>
<p>They sit on the floor so long the bottle of wine disappears and the Stillhouse makes another appearance, this time with chocolate mousse from the kitchen and a smirk on Lexa's face when she admits to swiping two of them instead of asking.</p>
<p>Another log needs to be added to the fire, and the glow from the tree provides the perfect backlighting against Lexa's slender frame. She makes an off the cuff comment in response to the story Clarke is telling and Clarke drops her head back and laughs, aided by alcohol and good food and better company.</p>
<p>She hasn't felt this relaxed, this happy, in a long time.</p>
<p>"Should we decorate this last tree or just keep drinking?" Lexa says, glass of bourbon up on her lips and a wicked smile on her face.</p>
<p>"What kinda girl do you think I am? Both, <em>duh</em>." She tilts her foot, gently kicking Lexa's shin.</p>
<p>It's Lexa's turn to laugh. And god, her <em>lips</em>.</p>
<p>Lexa gets back up much more nimbly than anyone has a right to after drinking and hauling twelve trees inside, hesitating for just a second before offering to help Clarke up off her feet. Her hands are warm and slightly calloused from the day but they fit perfectly within Clarke's own. A tingle spreads up her arms and her spine, blooming in warmth and heat that has nothing to do with alcohol and everything to do with Lexa.</p>
<p>She sways just a little bit closer, trying to balance on tingling, tipsy legs, her nose brushing against Lexa's cheek. A look. The air goes out of the room and her mouth is so close. Clarke tilts her head, hearing Lexa's sharp inhale.</p>
<p>A knock at the door breaks them apart. Lexa steps back and drops her hands. Clarke's heart nearly falls out of her chest.</p>
<p>"Lexa, I'm here now if you're done and ready to clock out for the day."</p>
<p>"Thanks, Echo. I'll be out in a second."</p>
<p>Lexa sighs out a shaky breath and looks back at Clarke with wide eyes glazed with what Clarke hopes is lust.</p>
<p>Clarke, for her sake, would gladly go back to the position they were just in and forget about the interruption. But the moment seems to have passed.</p>
<p>"I should… get out there and make sure everything is ready for her to take over. I know she feels really bad about last night."</p>
<p>"Sure. Yeah." Clarke steps back suddenly unsure where to put her hands which still feel the touch of Lexa's. She aches to reach back out and pull Lexa back in, not ready to see her walk away just yet. Not ready for this moment, this evening, this spell to be over. When Lexa turns around she grabs one hand and tugs her back, running her thumb softly over the back of Lexa's, feeling the smooth skin and the warmth she exudes. "Thank you. For today. And tonight," she adds. "I'm glad you were able to take the time to make sure I wasn't alone."</p>
<p>Lexa looks down at their hands. Her eyes are soft when she looks back to Clarke and the urge to lean in and kiss her is still not gone completely. "I'm glad, too."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For as tired as she is, and as long and arduous as the day was and the few drinks swimming around in her full belly, Lexa cannot fall asleep for the life of her. She can still feel Clarke's warm breath on her cheek, on her lips, the moment replaying over and over, when they almost, <em>almost</em> closed the gap that was barely millimeters.</p>
<p>To be fair, she's not sure she'd have been able to stop kissing Clarke once they'd started.</p>
<p>She's not sure she'll be able to stop thinking about it. About the almost. And about the prospect of maybe soon.</p>
<p>About what it would be like to kiss Clarke Griffin.</p>
<p>About what it would be like to kiss Clarke Griffin and fall into her endlessly blue eyes and her wide bright smile.</p>
<p>Maybe it's for the best.</p>
<p>Lexa is already half in love with her. Not even the image she carried in her head for years, but the actual living breathing person that sat in her library reading her favorite book of the year all day.</p>
<p>The one who helped decorate.</p>
<p>The one who teased her over dinner relentlessly.</p>
<p>The one who sparked up a storm inside her body, her soul, with just one simple brush of her thumb as she held Lexa's hand.</p>
<p>She groans and stares at the ceiling. It's going to be another long night.</p>
<p>It can't be this easy, can it? It's not real, is it? It's just the holidays playing tricks. The urge to cuddle up with someone as soon as the first real snows blow in and the lights are on and everyone is feeling warm and nostalgic for that <em>something</em> they just can't define.</p>
<p>It's definitely not fate.</p>
<p>That Clarke ended up here. At her inn. In the middle of one of the worst storms Massachusetts has seen in a decade. Like she fell out of the sky with the damn snow just to turn Lexa's world upside down.</p>
<p>It's not that easy. Never has been before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Despite the buzzing in her head and body that simply will not quit, Lexa does get a decent amount of sleep and wakes up excited and a little anxious about the day ahead. There are approximately one million things to check off the list, starting with the kitchens and working through the grounds as the day progresses. Anya will be in full swing with dinner prep, the dining room will be closed but the food trucks they reserved for the afternoon did not cancel with the weather so, it remains a win in Lexa's book.</p>
<p>The little mini winter carnival they've set up outside will be just as magical as they envisioned last year.</p>
<p>The igloos were set up overnight with Echo's supervision on the plowed grass area behind the inn beyond the patio - they can comfortably seat six inside, with heaters to keep the guests warm. The outdoor bar is going up now, with Lincoln and Octavia at the helm. The patio has been adorned with heat lamps and the big bonfire set up sits in the middle of it all.</p>
<p>It's going to be perfectly cozy, and perfectly wonderful.</p>
<p>The kitchen is a chaotic cave that Lexa can sense before she's even fully inside the inn. The five kitchen staff plus Anya and the extra cater waiters they got for the night are all bustling everywhere. Anya is in her element, barking orders and running the group like an army. Lexa stands and watches it all unfold with a burst of pride.</p>
<p>This. This is what they dreamed of. What they worked so hard for. What they've built.</p>
<p>The long nights. The commiserating over drinks. All the ranting and complaining, the saving and scrimping, the renovations. All of it birthed this.</p>
<p>"Lex - your coffee is out on the front desk, I saw you coming up the walk. Stay out of here if you want to keep your head." Anya calls out from the stove and Lexa yells out thanks as she weaves through the crowd and out to the desk.</p>
<p>A lot of the setup happened overnight with Echo and the night staff. Tables in the sitting room have been rearranged to accommodate gingerbread. The food trucks will be coming around 10:30 for set up and prep and then ready to handle lunch service, the carriages are arriving at 3. And the snow needs no help to prep for the snowman building contest.</p>
<p>She walks through the dining room and the additional trees look stunning. It's breathtaking and all the decorations haven't even been fully pulled up yet. The tables will get pushed back and Lincoln will work his magic making everything sparkle for tonight.</p>
<p>There's a pride and excitement that finally overcome and overwhelm the anxiety at being able to pull this off. Every year they throw this party and every year it's a nerve-wracking white-knuckled ride until it all comes together.</p>
<p>She is beyond excited about all of it.</p>
<p>If that's partly because there's an extra special guest in the building, well. That's neither here nor there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The day is bustling already and lunch services just started outside. Clarke hasn't shown her face, but Lexa doesn't blame her. She spent most of the day hiding away from the other guests and not that Lexa thinks any of them, mostly repeats from the surrounding towns and states, will cause a fuss, she understands Clarke's impulse.</p>
<p>Not only that, Clarke seems to be coming down and unwinding after a tough project. And nursing the wounds a holiday stranded on the opposite coast have left.</p>
<p>She should go up there and see if Clarke wants anything from the food trucks outside since the kitchen is also closed for room service. It's what a polite manager would do.</p>
<p>She's just being professional.</p>
<p>Doing her job.</p>
<p>Except doing her job also entails helping the woman who just blustered inside with a garment bag, a small carry-on, and some snowflakes following her wake.</p>
<p>She plasters on her best, most congenial smile hoping to hide the annoyance at being barred from a break. "Good afternoon, welcome to the Trikru Inn. How can I help you?"</p>
<p>A bag is thumped on the floor, and her free hand slaps the desk in what looks like a show of exhaustion. She sticks her tongue out and breathes out a grunt. "I can't believe how bad the roads still are and how much snow is still coming down. They were not lying about this storm."</p>
<p>Okay. Interesting greeting.</p>
<p>"Are you looking for a room?" The last woman who swung in here unexpectedly needed one and needed one badly.</p>
<p>"Oh, no. I'm good." She straightens up and looks up with such raw determination Lexa is impressed and taken aback. "Listen. What I'm going to ask you is unorthodox and outlandish and I know that. <em>Please</em>, stay with me here. I need to know what room," she drops her voice to a hush, "Clarke Griffin is in."</p>
<p>Well. Fuck. Guess she can't hide from everyone. "I don't know what assumption you're under but I cannot give out that information even if I knew who that person was."</p>
<p>"Okay, yes, right, I <em>totally</em> get it. I work with her. I drove over from the set. I know she's here. I talked to her yesterday. I just don't know what alias she's under and I haven't gotten a hold of her today. I was trying to surprise her for the holiday." She attempts to look non-threatening and like Lexa would be doing her a huge favor. Which, of course she would. Clarke is a major star.</p>
<p>Lexa moves from around the back of the desk, ready to hop into action if necessary, sore arms or not. "I'm sorry, but I can't help you. I'm going to have to ask you to leave." She gestures to the front door and straightens her posture.</p>
<p>"Ugh. Wait, okay. Let me try calling her one more time and I promise I'm not a freak." She pulls her phone up to her ear and holds up her pointer finger as she turns away from Lexa.</p>
<p>And, if she wasn't trying to be professional, she'd bend this woman's finger backward and throw her out.</p>
<p>What the fuck.</p>
<p>"Babe, oh my god, I'm so glad you picked up. What name are you using at Trikru? What do you mean why do I want to know? I'm sending you something okay?... oh my god you absolute nerd. Wait it sounds noisy, are you in your room?"</p>
<p>Clarke rounds the corner before anyone gets an answer to that with a smile already on her face that Lexa assumes is meant to be directed at her. But she halts and drops the phone with a delighted squeal. "Oh my god, why are you <em>here</em>!"</p>
<p>The stranger hops into Clarke's arms and kisses her cheek. "I'm here to surprise you for Christmas, babe, duh."</p>
<p><em>Oh</em>. Okay. Lexa's heart sinks and she turns around more determined than ever to head outside and get some food, except now she's not even remotely hungry. The last day felt too good to be true, anyway.</p>
<p>Better to come back down to earth before she was in too deep. It was a fun dream while it lasted. Once the snow clears up Clarke will be gone, anyway. Whisking back to LA, back to her life as a movie star. Back to a pretty face on the screen - unattainable and unreal. And Lexa will forever remember what she maybe almost had.</p>
<p>"Rae, I cannot believe you drove out here! What the fuck is wrong with you?"</p>
<p>"I couldn't let you spend the holidays alone, okay? Plus I brought you a surprise."</p>
<p>Their voices don't get any quieter even though Lexa has walked away. It's been hard enough having Clarke <em>here</em> and looking like <em>that.</em> Then with the voice and the almost kiss and the very real flirting. If she has to watch her be here and look like that and be with someone <em>else</em>, well. Lexa isn't sure she's looking forward to the holiday at all anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Raven. This dress. How?"</p>
<p>"You know Cecily loves me. She'd do anything for me, like loan out the most expensive piece in wardrobe." She preens. Clarke lets it slide because the dress really is stunning.</p>
<p>"This is so perfect. I can't believe it - wait, what did you bring yourself?"</p>
<p>"Oh, that slinky black thing I wore down in Boston when we went out the first weekend of pre-production." She plops onto the bed and swings her legs as she takes a look around the room.</p>
<p>"Alright, we don't need to scandalize anyone here."</p>
<p>"Clarke. Babe. No matter <em>what</em> I put on, I'm going to scandalize <em>someone</em>. It's my MO. I live and breathe the scandal. Call in Olivia Pope if you want and I'll just work my magic and get her into bed. Simply cannot be helped."</p>
<p>"Wow, okay, somehow you've become even more intolerable with time apart." Clarke laughs and shoves her shoulder. "I'm glad you're here."</p>
<p>"I'm glad, too. Couldn't go anywhere else and couldn't keep staying in that lonely production office while everyone else was off having fun. Plus, you never did tell me how the food was last night after I very specifically asked you to provide exquisite detail."</p>
<p>"Right." Clarke actually forgot about the dinner in the wake of the not-kiss. In the wake of… everything Lexa. "It was a ragu thing, homemade pasta, pretty divine."</p>
<p>Raven scoffs and falls back onto the bed staring at the ceiling. "That's it? That's all you have for me?"</p>
<p>She busies herself with hanging the dress up in the bathroom behind the door still shaken from the night before.</p>
<p>How she retreated to her room and slid between the sheets not wanting to think about Lexa, about her lips and her eyes and the way she inhaled so sharply and leaned in, and not able to think about anything else.</p>
<p>How she was frustrated. Frustrated in a way she doesn't want to touch with a ten-foot pole.</p>
<p>Because what even is happening?</p>
<p>Somehow, whether the combination of good food and good wine or the exhaustion that still crawls over her body and burrows in deep, she fell into a deep sleep that lasted well into the morning hours.</p>
<p>Those blackout curtains really do their job quite well.</p>
<p>"I don't know if you know this but I have been extremely tired." She comes back out of the bathroom and spies Raven on the bed. "So, yeah. That's all I've got for you. Hey are you actually planning on bunking with me or did you ask Lexa about your own room?"</p>
<p>Raven shifts up onto her elbows. "Lexa? Wait, do you mean that bouncer at the front desk? Also, why not? It's not like you have a hot date lined up."</p>
<p>"Yes, Lexa the inn manager and owner. Not sure they have any rooms available anyway. I feel incredibly lucky I got this one." Clarke skirts around the rest of it. Not even quite sure what any of it means anyway.</p>
<p>"Then I guess yeah, it's not like you're in a single twin here, babe, is it?"</p>
<p>"This bed is ginormous, right? And, I'm not gonna lie, I def pulled back the covers to see what brand it is because I have never slept better."</p>
<p>"Didn't you just tell me how <em>exhausted</em> you've been?" Raven rolls her eyes. "It's probably that."</p>
<p>"Yeah, but… the bed. It's magic. Trust me."</p>
<p>"Whatever you say. Anyway, I'm starving so can we eat?"</p>
<p>She hops up off the bed and puts her hands on her hips. Clarke knows that look. It's the look that says they've got about twenty minutes, maybe twenty-five, before Raven's hanger takes over and she becomes a completely different person.</p>
<p>It's impressive.</p>
<p>However, Clarke does not want to deal with it.</p>
<p>"Sooooo, about that. The kitchen is closed for lunch service," Raven groans and Clarke cuts her off before the ranting can start, "It's for prep for the big dinner tonight. <em>But</em>, there are like three or four food trucks out back that I was actually heading towards when you so rudely interrupted me."</p>
<p>"Rudely interrupted? Is that what I get for surprising you and making sure you're not alone?</p>
<p>"Is it not accurate?"</p>
<p>"Semantics, Griffin." She pulls her coat off the chair by the window and shrugs it on. "Let's go. I'm not getting any fuller just standing here."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What's wrong with you? Also, why the fuck are you back here, I told you to clear out."</p>
<p>The kitchen is loud. And hot. And Lexa's mouth waters as soon as she enters.</p>
<p>"I'm getting my coat and going outside for lunch…" Lexa answers.</p>
<p>"Okay. Well after you eat you can come back and unpack all that because I know that's not your hungry face."</p>
<p>"Do you not have enough to worry about and focus on today? I don't need psychoanalysis, thanks." Lexa slams the door behind her, knowing she just pinged Anya's interest even more and not really caring too much. She's just gonna stop by the meatball truck and get a giant meatball and take a walk.</p>
<p>Of course, who else does she see standing in line at the mac n cheese truck. Her eyes zero in right away on Clarke. Immediately drawn to her.</p>
<p>And her… her <em>her</em>.</p>
<p>Clarke has a hat on, all but a few of her blonde waves pulled up under the beanie and tucked under and giant, absolutely <em>giant</em>, sunglasses adorn her face. She looks just like anyone else except she doesn't. For starters - her wool winter coat is finer than anything else out here, and her boots were probably about the price of a car down payment. And then there's just <em>Clarke</em>. She very much still exudes an easy magnetism about her. Her skin is just a little too clear, and her smile just a little too bright, and there's definitely something <em>other</em> about her.</p>
<p>Lexa's heart skips a few beats and she slows to a stop to just. Look. Admire. Decide what her next move is.</p>
<p>Except Clarke chooses that precise moment to turn her head and spot her. And she smiles.</p>
<p>It stops Lexa's heart again.</p>
<p>And there's a small wave.</p>
<p>Fuck.</p>
<p>What is this? What even was last night? Clarke was definitely flirting with her. Lexa <em>knows</em> flirting but… now? Clarke is standing shoulder to shoulder with this new Raven. Whoever she is. Was it just the alcohol? The attention?</p>
<p>Clarke made a move.</p>
<p>They almost kissed.</p>
<p>Lexa is not that person. She's not a cheater.</p>
<p>Her stomach growls and the food smells amazing and the sun is shining even though there are big fat fluffy flakes that fall from the sky to add to the already insane amount of accumulation on the ground and fuck it. Lexa is going to eat if nothing else. Even if she still feels weird and even if she doesn't really know what's going on and wonders if she imagined everything.</p>
<p>She's been dreaming about this meatball since she called and rented the truck out. She's also not above double-dipping and grabbing a small poutine from the next truck over. So meatball and poutine she will have.</p>
<p>Why not?</p>
<p>There is only a short line and she watches the guests mill around on the grounds, happy laughs and shouts echoing out across the quiet snow.</p>
<p>Feels Clarke's gaze on her the whole time and for the first time since they met, bristles under it. She orders quickly and when she turns around Clarke and Raven have gone, walking towards the frozen pond presumably to check out the ice skating.</p>
<p>Romantic.</p>
<p>Whatever.</p>
<p>"Who's that?" Lexa jolts at Lincoln's voice. Too focused on Clarke's retreating form to notice him walk up with Octavia.</p>
<p>"That is someone named Raven."</p>
<p>"Oh shit. She's got a girlfriend?"</p>
<p>"Looks like it."</p>
<p>Octavia doesn't look convinced. "Are you sure, Lexa? She was definitely checking you out like all day yesterday. Girl was drooling."</p>
<p>"I'm not exactly sure but they looked really excited to see each other, and this girl called her babe and lept into her arms after surprising her for Christmas so." She shrugs and grabs her food. The steam curls into the cold air and brings warmth to her hands. "There's that."</p>
<p>"Some people are touchy feely with friends though, Lexa. Not everyone is like you keeping people at arm's length until they wear you down years later," Lincoln says, nudging his elbow into Lexa's side and nearly knocking her over.</p>
<p>"If you make me drop my food I'm firing you."</p>
<p>They all laugh and Lincoln at least looks a little embarrassed.</p>
<p>"I'm gonna dig around, sniff this out. Trust me, Lexa. She was <em>definitely</em> looking." Octavia nods and settles it.</p>
<p>And, well, if they want to waste their time that's fine by her.</p>
<p>"Bar stocked?" she says around a piping hot bite that hurts but also tastes so good she doesn't regret it.</p>
<p>"More than, we've got a ton of bottles underneath and we've stored some in very strategically placed snow piles."</p>
<p>"Smart," she laughs. "Ugh, at least we have snow this year and it's pretty snow. Remember last year when it snowed but then rained and melted into just icy slush? Fucking awful."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The dress fits perfectly because of course it does. Because of course, Raven worked her charms on Cecily so it would be pulled in where Clarke would need it and let out where she didn't. And her hair has curled maybe better than it ever has before without professional help. And Raven swiped some of the good eyeliner and lipstick out of the makeup trailer on her way out.</p>
<p>It all came together.</p>
<p>Just in time for Clarke to feel the nerves.</p>
<p>"Clarke. Come <em>on</em>. I'm hungry."</p>
<p>Raven has been ready for the past twenty minutes. Raven has been nursing the drink they brought upstairs from the outdoor bar and watching Charlie Brown bemoan his tiny sad tree while Clarke has been putting the finishing touches on. Raven has been running out of patience.</p>
<p>"Are we sure about this?" Clarke sneaks out of the bathroom to take a look at Raven but not all the way out that she can't duck back in should Raven decide to toss something at her.</p>
<p>"Yeah, we're sure. You couldn't stop talking about it outside, getting cold feet now?" For all the sass and all the snark Raven doles out on the regular, she puts all that aside to take a good look at Clarke.</p>
<p>They spent the afternoon outside, trying a few things from each of the food trucks. Popping into one of the outdoor igloos and making it their own with drinks, playing cards from the box of provided games that they found nestled on the table with some candy, and poppers. Getting each other hyped up about what they could do with the rights to that book if they're awarded the option.</p>
<p>Clarke didn't see much of Lexa after they were in line for lunch. She looked different. The mood was off somehow and at first, Clarke chalked it up to the bustle of getting the finishing touches of prep done but, now. She's not sure. They didn't really have a chance to talk about last night. Make sure they were both on level ground.</p>
<p>When Lexa didn't stop and chat with them during the gingerbread competition back inside. When Lexa barely even looked up from her clipboard at her.</p>
<p>Clarke felt a shift.</p>
<p>And, well, now. In the absence of the smiles and the quick sneaky looks and even the intentional shared smiles, doubt has room to take hold.</p>
<p>Maybe she shouldn't have tried to kiss her.</p>
<p>Maybe she shouldn't have turned on the flirt.</p>
<p>But, Lexa was always responsive. Led the way on some of it and met her halfway with the rest.</p>
<p>Clarke can admit she may have crossed a line and kick herself for it. The whiskey in the drinks she got didn't help.</p>
<p>Yeah. It might be easier to swing her movie star status for the first time here and plead for room service so she can just avoid the hit to her confidence even more.</p>
<p>"I don't know how I feel about being around all the other guests. I don't want to be stared at." It is a little bit the truth but not the real truth. Clarke does not know if she will be able to spend that much time in Lexa's presence and be able to fake it. Fake the smiles. Fake the cheer. Fake that she is not spiraling out over a woman she literally met two days ago.</p>
<p>It's not a good feeling for her.</p>
<p>"Clarke, haven't you been here for two days already? We were just outside and then did that gingerbread competition. Has anyone bothered you because I didn't see anyone really even do a double take."</p>
<p>"No, but that was the most I've done since I checked in. I spent most of my time up here sleeping or holed up reading in the library and talking with Lexa."</p>
<p>Raven stands up. There's a look on her face. Clarke doesn't know what it is, but it cannot spell anything good for her. "Lexa?"</p>
<p>She somehow fights off a blush but her whole body feels hot. Caught. She's under a microscope and she knows it. "They've been taking care of me here, making sure I'm not bothered."</p>
<p>Raven turns off the tv and grabs the clutch purse she brought with her off the table. She looks great in a short little black number and a bold lip. Her strappy heels don't fully scream Christmas, but if anyone can pull this off tonight, it's Raven. She sells whatever mood she wants to.</p>
<p>"Okay, well. Number one, I'm hungry and this is the only way we're going to get fed. Number two, this is the whole reason I drove my ass out here in a snowstorm." She holds up her fingers to make her point stronger.</p>
<p>"I thought you came out here so I wouldn't spend Christmas alone in some random town in some random inn?" Raven can snark, but Clarke can go toe to toe with her.</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah, sure, that." She waves her hand in front of her face and tries to shoo Clarke towards the door of their room. There's no ground for her to stand on and she knows it and Clarke knows it. "It's going to be really great. And everyone here seems really chill and like they just want to have a nice holiday. I don't think anyone will bug you, but if they do I can play bodyguard, okay?"</p>
<p>"You?"</p>
<p>She laughs and with it comes relief. "Shut up, you've seen first hand how scrappy I can get."</p>
<p>"If that's what we're going with, sure. Okay." A swell of momentum builds up in Clarke's chest. It's now or never. "Alright, let's go before I change my mind."</p>
<p>"That's the spirit!" Raven swings an arm through Clarke's and pulls her out the door and down the hall. And if Clarke lost her nerve well, too bad, Raven is here to make sure she has a good time if it's the last thing she does.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The inn has seemingly transformed even in the last couple of hours since they've been upstairs. It's cozy yet somehow fancy. Splendidly decorated and with the evening in full force, the lights on all the trees make every room positively sparkle with magic. There are candles lit on every safe surface, holly and mistletoe hanging, poinsettias and other winter flowers arranged beautifully in vases. Clarke gasps as they descend the stairs and even Raven mutters something incoherent under her breath.</p>
<p>It is absolutely stunning.</p>
<p>A small jazz trio is set up in the sitting room playing a mix of Christmas tunes and other well known songs and the sound travels down the tree-lined hallway to the dining room.</p>
<p>They are both met with a wonderful surprise upon entering the space. The trees that Lexa and the group carried in here are placed around the room in a way that looks so natural, and so organic, it is almost like they're all in a forest right now.</p>
<p>As if they stumbled through the armoire into Narnia.</p>
<p>Goosebumps prickle up her skin and run down her spine and Clarke cannot believe her eyes.</p>
<p>"Holy fuck," Raven whispers.</p>
<p>"Yeah," Clarke responds. Not even sure what else there is to say.</p>
<p>She has never, ever, seen anything like this in her entire life. Not in reality, and not even on set.</p>
<p>The regular dining tables have been replaced by tall bar tables and small two person tables that have been artfully rearranged around the room in a way that promotes space, and mingling, and yet somehow also intimacy and privacy interspersed with and behind the trees and the lights. There is a roaring fire in the large hearth at the center of one wall, and the bar is decorated to fit into the winter forest theme and it's all.</p>
<p>It's all magic.</p>
<p>She surveys the room, the other guests wear similar looks of wonder and awe as they meander in and absorb the scene. A few of the staff flit in between groups making last minute adjustments and greeting people as they enter. Lincoln smiles from the corner at Clarke and disappears into the kitchen for a moment probably to get timing down.</p>
<p>It's just.</p>
<p>Two days ago she was here and it looked like any other dining room. Sure, it was nice and fancy and suited the design of the inn, but it was a dining room.</p>
<p>Then she watched the group carry tree after tree into the building, even decorated a couple herself.</p>
<p>And still. Nothing could have prepared her for what she's encountered now.</p>
<p>And how special it is.</p>
<p>"I can't even believe this," she mutters under her breath.</p>
<p>"No kidding. You were not lying on the phone." Raven's eyes are wide and she takes it all in. For her not to have another snarky comment is huge.</p>
<p>Clarke scans the room again for another familiar face but doesn't find her in the crowd. Not yet. Her stomach flips at the thought.</p>
<p>Will she be as strange as she was all afternoon? Ignoring Clarke and Raven and pulling that shield back up? Or will the Lexa of the night before return. Soft, open, attuned to Clarke.</p>
<p>"It looks like they have some fancy drink specials, want me to check it out?" Raven points towards the bar along one wall.</p>
<p>"Yeah, that would be great."</p>
<p>"Mmmk, you keep looking for <em>Lexa</em> then." And, yep. There it is. Raven won't let this one go easily. Not for a while. "Hey, weirdo, since you're so worried about being gaped at, do you wanna grab one of those small tables over there in the corner by the big tree?" She tilts her head and waits for Clarke's eyes to catch up.</p>
<p>"Oh, yeah, good call."</p>
<p>Raven heads to the bar with a promise of something not too disgusting and Clarke makes her way to the table they targeted, hoping she gets there easily and before it's claimed by someone else.</p>
<p>Her eyes continue to scan the room as she walks, ever alert for <em>recognition</em> but also still looking for her.</p>
<p>Kicking herself for not coming down sooner this morning. For not trying to regroup.</p>
<p>For not actually kissing her last night.</p>
<p>She's almost at the table when she finally sees Lexa standing across the room near the entrance to the kitchen talking to one of the waiters. When her eyes finally land on her, the breath leaves her body and time stops.</p>
<p>Lexa is wearing a dark green tuxedo jacket that looks like it's been tailored to within an inch of its life, a black button down with the top buttons undone, and black tuxedo pants that look made for her. Considering Lexa's affinity for designer boots and coats, they probably were. She rounds out the look with shiny silver oxford shoes that would seem atrociously gaudy any other time and on any other person.</p>
<p>She hasn't noticed Clarke yet - deep in conversation with the waiters who have started to gather around her. She looks perfectly at ease even among the crowd, giving direction to staff, and dressed impeccably. Her hair is pulled back off her face in a wavy bun gathered at the back of her head. Completely in her element running the show.</p>
<p>Clarke's knees almost buckle.</p>
<p>And when Lexa shifts and their eyes lock, the sound of the crowded room drops out and everything in her vision narrows. All that exists is Lexa. In there here and now. The lights of the room add to her glow and Clarke is lost completely. They stand like that for minutes or maybe hours, Clarke doesn't know and doesn't care. Every cell in her body pulls her. Itches, calls out. She has never wanted anything so deeply in her bones.</p>
<p>And then Lexa smiles.</p>
<p>And Clarke will never recover.</p>
<p>Of course Lincoln chooses that moment to come out of the kitchen and pull Lexa's attention away. Clarke watches as Lexa shutters herself back up. Her back straightens and her professional mask falls back into place and she spins around and heads to the bar to grab a flute to toast and begin the evening.</p>
<p>Her eyes still flit to Clarke's whenever they can.</p>
<p>Raven joins her side with drinks for them both and Lexa waits for the crowd noise to die down so she can welcome everyone. Lincoln, Octavia, and some various other staff members Clarke has seen around the inn join Lexa near the bar with happy excited smiles.</p>
<p>Clarke has seen the effort it took them to get here over just the past two days. She cannot imagine the rest of the work it takes to pull this off.</p>
<p>"Oh my goddess <em>who</em> is <em>that</em>," Raven says, nudging Clarke with her elbow and tilting her head to the tall, stunning woman who exits the kitchen and joins Lexa at the bar. "Is that the chef?"</p>
<p>"She's wearing a chef's jacket and I haven't seen her yet so I'm gonna say, yeah." Clarke has never seen a more intimidating woman in her life. And she's met Meryl. And Charlize.</p>
<p>"Holy shit, Clarke. If you thought I was excited to try the food before this…"</p>
<p>Anya finds Clarke in a heartbeat. Her gaze exacting, cutting. Clarke is being weighed and measured and tries to hold her ground. She bends down to whisper something to Lexa and accepts a champagne flute and pulls on a smile for the rest of them.</p>
<p>"What was that?" Raven whispers.</p>
<p>Clarke shrugs, wishing she could take a sip of her drink before this toast but not wanting to tempt fate any further than she already has. "Fuck if I know."</p>
<p>"Thank you, everyone." Lexa's voice takes on a new cadence, one that Clarke isn't familiar with. She commands the room, all eyes on her. Which is refreshing for Clarke who feared that everyone would be staring at her. Especially after the moment she shared with Lexa upon arrival. "We are so excited to welcome you here to our annual Christmas Eve event. As you know it takes a lot of planning and plotting for us to pull this together for you all, but we couldn't be prouder of what we've achieved this year. Anya and I always dreamed of hosting events like this back when we were young and foolish, and though we may still be foolish, looking out at all of your smiling faces makes it worth it. We know that the weather has made it difficult this year, but we are so glad that so many of you stuck it out and battled the elements to join us. Anya has a fantastic menu prepared for us all and we have a surprise treat after dinner, so please enjoy and be merry." Lexa lifts her glass and waits for everyone to do the same. "Cheers!"</p>
<p>A round of cheers echoes through the room and everyone sips their drinks and a few polite claps spout up.</p>
<p>And oh fuck Anya is headed straight for her.</p>
<p>"Miss Haynes, it's lovely to finally meet you," she says quietly, holding her hand out for Clarke. Her grip is firm and unmistakable as they shake. "I hope everything has been to your standards here."</p>
<p>"Yes, everything has been wonderful. Dinner last night was delicious." Yes, flattery. Flattery will get you far, Clarke.</p>
<p>"If you thought that was impressive, I'm looking forward to your reviews tonight." Her eyes shift to Raven. "Is this your girlfriend?"</p>
<p>Raven scoffs, "She wishes. I'm just here for the food." She takes a sip of her drink and scans the room. "Gotta see if you live up to the hype. They've been handing Michelin stars out like candy on Halloween these days." She doesn't even look at Anya as she drops that gauntlet.</p>
<p>If Clarke wasn't an actor and trained in following microexpressions of those around her, she would miss the quizzical lift of Anya's brow and the spark of interest that zings across her face.</p>
<p>"Well, then. Looks like I can expect two very nuanced reviews coming from you both." Anya nods her head and retreats back to the kitchen without another word.</p>
<p>"That went well." Raven beams, looking pleased with herself. Clarke has to hand it to her, she's got a backbone of steel. "Hey is it like a requirement to be hot and aloof to work here, you think?"</p>
<p>It pulls a giant laugh from Clarke that draws Lexa's attention. She warms under it and welcomes it, hoping whatever bothered Lexa before has fled the scene now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa marches into the kitchen, not caring that Anya is barking orders and trying to plate the first round of canapes out. "What did you say to her?"</p>
<p>"Why are you back here, I can't give your gay ass drama a spare thought right now. Charlie, you forgot the napkins! Go, go." She points out the door and the five waiters exit with the first pass.</p>
<p>"Just tell me what you said and I'll leave. I don't want to be back here, if I get dirty you know I'll be pissed."</p>
<p>Anya rolls her eyes and puts her hands on her hips. "Fuck you. I introduced myself and asked if the woman with her who was eye fucking the shit out of me was her girlfriend."</p>
<p>"You did what?"</p>
<p>"They're not."</p>
<p>"Wait, what?"</p>
<p>"Lexa Woods. I <em>know </em>you are not this dumb. I know you saw that chick arrive and jump into Clarke's arms but I don't know how you're missing how that woman looks at you. It's like you rule the earth we all walk on or something. And that hot piece next to her definitely wants up on this, so get your head out of your ass and out of your own damn way."</p>
<p>"I cannot <em>believe </em>you did that." She takes a deep breath.</p>
<p>"Trust me, it wasn't as awkward as you're making it. Anyway, she couldn't stop looking at you the whole time I was out there, and don't think for a second Lincoln didn't tell me how you two basically acted like you were in a fucking disney movie out there staring at each other from across the room like two idiots."</p>
<p>Lexa groans and Anya opens the oven to get the next round ready. "Lincoln needs to learn how to keep his mouth shut. Who'd have thought he'd be the biggest gossip."</p>
<p>"You really need to get out of here. <em>Now</em>. We can talk after service."</p>
<p>"I still don't believe you," Lexa calls out over her shoulder.</p>
<p>"Believe what you want, Lex. You're your own worst enemy."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa keeps an eye on service for Anya, meandering through tables and checking in with the guests. There is so much praise being heaped on Anya that Lexa wishes her friend could be out here to do this. Knows she will love it, and she will definitely be getting a ton of it when she comes out with the last dessert portion of the night.</p>
<p>They've set up a small table in the sitting room for staff to sneak their plates, a perk of the evening is they get to enjoy the same food being served to guests. Lexa can say with full honesty that Anya has outdone herself this year and every compliment offered up by their room full of happy customers has been spot on.</p>
<p>And then there's Clarke. Clarke who seems to be enjoying herself. Clarke who closes her eyes around her fork and throws her head back. Clarke who is probably making happy little noises as she eats, and even just imagining those noises has Lexa flustered.</p>
<p>Blue eyes catch hers and darken. A slow smile spreads on her face and Lexa feels it go straight through her.</p>
<p>She's not sure which alternate universe she entered when she woke up two days ago and this beautiful movie star blew in with the storm but… she's no longer complaining. And she is no longer doubting.</p>
<p>Clarke walked into the dining room with a silver dress and her hair down in curling glowing waves looking like the actual moon. All long silver sleeves and high neck, and when she turned the back showcased a deep v, revealing smooth skin and muscles that Lexa ached to touch. Even sitting at the dinner table, partially hidden by one of the large trees, she shimmers. The lights seem to bounce off her skin, her hair, her dress and add to the ambiance of the room.</p>
<p>Lexa has not been able to keep her eyes away.</p>
<p>Has found her immediately upon entering the room. Every single time. Whether Clarke has been aware of it or not, she has been unable and unwilling to stop herself. Secretly wishes for dinner to be over so she can do <em>something</em> about the buzzing in her body, but happy for the outlet to her nervous energy.</p>
<p>Waiters begin clearing plates from course four and she follows them into the kitchen to make sure course five is set to go out.</p>
<p>Anya is thriving, plating up the lamb and adding the finishing touches. "Your timing has never been better," Lexa says, swiping an extra olive from the large bowl in the corner. The bitter bite offset by the fruit pairing is just… perfect.</p>
<p>Anya doesn't look up but Lexa doesn't expect her to. "Gotta outdo myself every year." Lexa watches as the plates get sent out, and she takes a long swing of water and a deep breath.</p>
<p>"Please remind me never to doubt you," she says with a chuckle.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, is that something you were doing? I thought we kicked that habit after our first month?"</p>
<p>Lexa rolls her eyes.</p>
<p>"Hey, how is our movie star and her wife doing? They look pleased?"</p>
<p>"Why do you think I'd tell you?" She offers a teasing smirk and backs out of the kitchen to make sure everyone is all set.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They're through all courses of the evening except for dessert. There were beef fat roasted nuts and warm orange rosemary olives, cacio e pepe white beans with endive, caramelized onion and charred cabbage, then a warm burrata paired with date jam, honey, and balsamic reduction and warm, fresh baguettes. Slow roasted lamb with caramelized shallots, pan-roasted duck in a fig-red wine reduction, curried red lentils with sweet potato, and, finally, the braised oxtail.</p>
<p>Clarke isn't sure she can breathe or, for that matter, fit even a sip of another drink inside of her stomach. But she is definitely more than impressed and satisfied. Raven has been geeking out beside her over every dish, explaining the flavor profiles and the skill at play she can see and taste. Clarke is incredibly grateful she's here to share this special evening.</p>
<p>That is until Raven requests another specialty cocktail even though each dish was paired with a wine or spirit to bring out the desired flavors of the food. Apparently, it's Clarke's turn to schlep to the bar.</p>
<p>"Consider it payback for not telling me you wanted to jump the inn owner's bones," she says with a wicked smile and yeah, this isn't going anywhere anytime soon. "Speaking of jumping bones, do we have any intel on the chef? Because wow if I wasn't attracted to her before, now I've had her food and let me just say…"</p>
<p>"Alright, alright, I got the picture." With a huff, Clarke heads to the bar and orders from the very polite bartender posted there. While she waits she sends her mother a few texts and pictures of the evening. One of the two of them fully dressed up and making funny faces in the bathroom mirror. She feels even worse not being back home and spending this night with her mother who instead of staying home to mope alone, picked up extra shifts at the hospital.</p>
<p>As she's putting her phone away she notices Lexa waltz back in the room and their eyes immediately lock. The sounds drop away again and all Clarke can hear is her own heartbeat thundering in her ears.</p>
<p>Lexa crosses the room, closing the distance between them and not dropping her gaze for a single second, a single step. Clarke angles her body fully toward her as she does so, hands shaky, knees weak.</p>
<p>An unspoken agreement between bodies that act without being told.</p>
<p>And then Lexa is right in front of her. So close Clarke could reach out and touch. Could run her hand along the lapel of Lexa's beautiful green jacket. Could brush her thumb along Lexa's cheekbone. Could lean in and try again.</p>
<p>They don't speak right away. Both taking it all in.</p>
<p>An electricity spans between them, singing and crackling in the air.</p>
<p>There is only this. Only them.</p>
<p>None of the rest of it matters.</p>
<p>"Hi," Lexa barely whispers.</p>
<p>"Hi," Clarke chokes out. Her mouth dry and tongue stiff.</p>
<p>"You look beautiful," she smiles again, a small private smile. Her pupils are blown and her eyes are the greenest things Clarke has ever seen. Made richer and deeper somehow by the jacket that sits along her shoulders.</p>
<p>"So do you."</p>
<p>A blush, just the tips of her ears, and her eyes dip down to the floor for the briefest of seconds until their back caressing Clarke's face.</p>
<p>Clarke's hand acts on its own. Reaching out to touch Lexa's wrist. She is unable to stop it and unwilling to. And Lexa, Lexa inches closer.</p>
<p>The scant space between their bodies all but disappears.</p>
<p>Her dark eyes dip down to Clarke's mouth again and Clarke, with a few inches on her in heels, shifts her head to get that much closer.</p>
<p>But loud jingle bells ringing and clanging outside the room pull them apart. Break the moment into the before and the after.</p>
<p>They both suddenly remember that they're not alone but standing in a crowded room. A crowded room full of people Lexa is hosting. There is a small disgruntled sigh at the interruption that leaves Lexa's lips and Clarke's heart takes flight with it.</p>
<p>"Shit. I forgot," she says quietly with an apologetic glance for Clarke. She steps a few feet away and waits for everyone's attention to land on her again. Clarke turns back around, facing the bartender who has left the drinks she ordered by her clutch. Lexa's voice fills the room again, accompanied by the jingle bells that ring in the hall. "Our surprise guest seems to have arrived everyone." The bells get louder and a booming laugh echoes in the hallway before Santa appears at the doorway to delighted giggles and gasps.</p>
<p>Well, Lincoln dressed up as Santa. His wide beaming smile peeking out behind the fake beard. And the twinkle in his eye perfectly suited to the character he's playing now.</p>
<p>And even though there aren't really children in attendance at the dinner, or really at the inn that Clarke has seen, everyone seems excited to visit with Santa on his big night.</p>
<p>Lexa offers her another soft glance before she joins the crowd. It feels like a promise.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The guests line up for pictures with Santa in front of the fireplace before dessert and Lexa and Octavia act as photographers, getting in as many shots as people desire. Lincoln has a huge smile on his face, the big old nerd, and Lexa kind of just wants to give him a hug.</p>
<p>Clarke and Raven stay sat at their table deep in conversation. They take a few selfies and Clarke texts a bit on her phone. Neither one of them bothers to come over and take a picture with Santa, but Lexa has a sneaking suspicion that Octavia whispers the suggestion he visit their table before changing out of his outfit based solely on the goofy grin he gives in response as he looks over.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The front porch is quiet. The cold night air is refreshing after the night of good food and drink, and the roaring fire. Clarke pulls a deep, cleansing breath into her lungs - crisp, bright, smoky.</p>
<p>All the things one would imagine the air on Christmas Eve to hold.</p>
<p>The promise that feels woven in, heavy and lingering.</p>
<p>She just needs a moment.</p>
<p>To feel it.</p>
<p>The disappointment and heartbreak, the gratefulness, the… possibility. The emotions all stirring and battling within her, each vying for attention and none of them unwelcome or misplaced.</p>
<p>A small sound startles her and she turns only to find Lexa farther down the porch. Lexa wrapped up in a scarf and coat, fancy shoes still on. Hands in pockets and a shy, bashful smile on her face.</p>
<p>"Sorry. I was out here and it looked like you were having a moment. I didn't want to be creepy… I wanted to alert but not scare you."</p>
<p>The tilt of her head is what gets Clarke. This woman has contained so many different personalities just <em>today</em>, but this one, this one Clarke knows deep down in her soul is the truth.</p>
<p>"Oh, well. You failed," she teases back. Watches Lexa come closer looking slightly embarrassed but not at all actually sorry.</p>
<p>There is a softness to her that seems almost impossible. Unfathomable.</p>
<p>"Is everything alright?" Her eyes are searching, really searching Clarke's face for the hint of any tell.</p>
<p>Clarke doesn't hold back the sad smile. Doesn't want to. Wants to share this moment with Lexa. Let her in. "Yeah? No? It's a perfect mess of emotions," her voice shakes a little but she doesn't cry. Lexa steps even closer. "I miss my mom, she would have loved this event. And I'm having so much fun, and I love that my friend came out here to make sure I was okay." She shrugs and huffs out a laugh, watching her warm breath float around her.</p>
<p>Lexa reaches out and grabs her hands, holding them between their bodies, offering warmth where there was none. She squeezes. Waits for Clarke to look up at her. "Christmas is hard and weird and everything in between. There's no one right way to feel." There is depth and pain in her eyes and written plain on her face as Clarke remembers how she spoke of her own mother. But there is hope, too.</p>
<p>Footsteps crunch on the snow behind them and Lexa drops her hands to peer over Clarke's shoulder. A portly man stops just shy of the step. "Lexa, I think we've got the last one going right now, so we'll start loading up the horses and gear."</p>
<p>She straightens a bit and plasters on a professional smile. Clarke has watched her do this all evening. Pull herself back into manager mode. As if she's walking onto a set and someone is yelling action. She pulls this new layer over her and performs it so well, so dutifully.</p>
<p>"Thanks so much, Mike. I really appreciate you bringing four this year, I think it was great to shorten the wait time."</p>
<p>"No problem, Lexa. Thank you again for bringing us out here. My wife enjoyed the dinner very much."</p>
<p>"I'm happy to hear that. I'll let Anya know she's gotten your seal of approval." Lexa smiles and stops to look over her shoulder back at Clarke. "Actually, do you think you have time for one more?"</p>
<p>It clicks almost a second too late. Clarke does not have nearly enough layers on for this.</p>
<p>"For you? Always. I'll meet you out back."</p>
<p>"Perfect, we'll be right there."</p>
<p>Lexa spins around with a mischievous smile. "You haven't been yet, have you?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xxup</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa usually allows herself a carriage ride with Anya - their tradition after a successful completion of the event. A moment of peace they allow themselves after the chaos of it all, and they usually share the ride in companionable silence, no joking, no barbs, no quips. Just the two of them letting it all sink in under the beautiful Christmas Eve stars.</p>
<p>It feels almost strange to be here with Clarke. Strange but not unwelcome.</p>
<p>There is still companionable silence but it's different. Stretched out between them with all the <em>possibility</em> that exists. Bundled up under the blankets, their breath visible in the cold night air. The noise and bustle of the party at the inn getting farther away as they move up the plowed path around the property, the noise of the carriage and the horse's plodding hooves soundtracking the moment.</p>
<p>They turn around the bend and Lexa's cabin comes into view. The front lights on and the Christmas tree lit in the window.</p>
<p>"Oh, how cute!" Clarke says quietly. As if not wanting to wholly break the spell that's settled over them like the blanket they share. Her thigh against Lexa's warm and inviting and flustering her in the best way.</p>
<p>"I'm glad you think so," she says. Clarke turns to her with a lift of her eyebrow in silent question. "That's my house."</p>
<p>She shifts her body into Lexa's, turning to face her as much as possible in the small carriage seat. "You live on the property?"</p>
<p>Lexa nods, "Yeah. Anya used to share the house with me when we first came out here - it was easier with all the work and construction we did to get up and running. And the deliveries. She got a stove from Italy that needed about ten signatures and arrived at like four in the morning," Lexa laughs with the memory. "But, it's just me back here now. I like to stay close in case anything happens."</p>
<p>"Where did Anya go? Are there more cabins back here?"</p>
<p>"Oh, no. She lives up a few miles in town. Near the farmers market."</p>
<p>"Makes sense. So, with all this work you do for the big event, do you actually get to enjoy and experience the holiday? When do you do your own things?"</p>
<p>"Well, tomorrow is more informal. Breakfast is some muffins and some croissants and easy things that the sous chef handles. And dinner is also much more informal and more family style, but staff does our celebrating on Boxing Day."</p>
<p>"That's a twist I wasn't expecting." Clarke's lips have tilted up into a smirk Lexa's longs to kiss.</p>
<p>Has longed to do so for the majority of the evening.</p>
<p>"Octavia's mom is British and when O came on she talked about how it was always a big thing for them and with everything else going on, it made sense for us. I love it. Everyone brings a dish to pass and we cop out and just order pizzas for the guests so we don't have to deal. They're all really great about it though."</p>
<p>"So what you're saying is, I have to stick around until then to really see the full spectrum of Christmas magic?" Clarke's voice dips that way it does, the way that crawls up Lexa's spine and nestles deep into her.</p>
<p>Her stomach swoops at just the thought of Clarke here for that cozy, intimate, family meal. "You are correct, yep. Full spectrum."</p>
<p>Clarke shifts again under the blanket and her knees knock into Lexa's gently. "Been holding out on me? All you talked about was this event tonight. I feel cheated," she teases. Her eyes sparkling.</p>
<p>"Speaking of, what did you think?"</p>
<p>"What do you mean what did I think? What is there to think other than this was incredible? The food was outstanding and once we leave I'm sure Raven will be raving about this on every social media account that belongs to her."</p>
<p>Lexa barks out a laugh. It feels so easy to be here with Clarke enjoying a nighttime carriage ride just before midnight on Christmas Eve. So completely right. And good. And easy.</p>
<p>"Should I ask what your favorite course was?"</p>
<p>"You can ask all you want, but that doesn't mean I have an answer for you. I think you know that it would be too hard to choose." The skeptical look she receives thrills her.</p>
<p>She nods, "I do, but I have to let you know that Anya really outdid herself this year. Every year is great, but something about this year felt really special." Her mouth slides up into a grin and the air between them sparks with energy.</p>
<p>"Oh? I wonder why," Clarke jokes along, not needing to say anything else.</p>
<p>Lexa laughs again, not even surprised anymore by how often it happens around this woman. "I wonder…"</p>
<p>Clarke seems to ponder that for a moment. She studies Lexa's face, her eyes dipping between her eyes and her mouth. "I was kicking myself this morning for not coming down sooner." She says it quietly, apologetically. Looks at her hands for a moment.</p>
<p>Lexa doesn't interrupt, sensing more is coming. Not expecting their easy conversation to take this turn.</p>
<p>"I came down with the intentions of clearing the air after last night. I wanted to… level set with you and make sure I didn't cross any lines."</p>
<p>The way she looks up, with so much hope behind her blue eyes, cuts right through Lexa. "You didn't." Lexa reaches over and grabs her hand.</p>
<p>The slow smile that grows on Clarke's face is the best thing. The way she brightens, even in the dark lamplight under the stars. If Lexa thought she looked like the moon earlier she was wrong. It is here, and now, that Clarke shines like a beacon. She is luminescent. Lexa's heart tugs her forward, like the waves kissing the shore. Ruled by that pull.</p>
<p>They share the most delicate brush of lips Lexa has ever had the pleasure of experiencing. It shakes the foundations of her soul and she leans in again, met with a soft eager noise from Clarke.</p>
<p>It is better than she ever dreamed, kissing Clarke Griffin. The reality of it. Clarke so warm and sure against her. Meeting her halfway. The smile she can taste between their lips. The way heat floods through her body from just this. Clarke pulls away and looks at her, really looks at her, and then closes the gap again. Her free hand comes up to hold Lexa's face, to keep her there as she kisses Lexa recklessly, with the full force of everything they've been holding back.</p>
<p>It devastates her.</p>
<p>Clarke's kiss runs through her body lighting a fire, changing everything about her from this moment forward. There will never be another moment like this one.</p>
<p>It's over too soon.</p>
<p>When Clarke looks at her it's with dazed dark eyes and kiss bruised lips, so pink, so inviting. She leans forward and nuzzles her cold nose into Lexa's cheek, and giggles.</p>
<p>"I can't believe that took so long," she murmurs against Lexa's skin. Kissing her cheek in the process.</p>
<p>Their combined laughter rings out across the dark grounds.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When they get back to the inn it is to chiming bells ringing in midnight. There are still a few guests on the back deck by the bonfire, huddled on benches under blankets. There are shouts of Merry Christmas that ring out, cheers and clinks and happiness that feels palpable.</p>
<p>Lexa looks down at their joined hands and back up at Clarke. She is breathtaking. "Merry Christmas, Clarke."</p>
<p>"Merry Christmas."</p>
<p>The kiss they share in this first moment of Christmas morning is the sweetest yet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke wakes up alone but smiling on Christmas morning. She replays the way the night ended. With Lexa's hand in hers and Lexa's lips getting acquainted with her own, and Lexa's quiet confidence growing by the second.</p>
<p>Butterflies spring in her belly and a happy warmth crawls inside of her. She can't wait to get dressed and get downstairs and find Lexa. Didn't want to part from her last night but didn't want to move too fast.</p>
<p>This thing, whatever it is, needs a gentle hand. Room to grow. Room to take root.</p>
<p>Lexa sent her upstairs with a kiss that carried a breadth of assurance and steadiness and excitement. There was a tilted, silly grin on her face and sparkling eyes, and ugh, Clarke can't handle it.</p>
<p>She grabs her phone and sends a quick text to her mom wishing her a Merry Christmas and promising to call her once she's had time to sleep between shifts.</p>
<p>Not surprisingly, Raven has not texted her since disappearing last night. She wore a wicked smirk full of intention as she stormed back into the kitchen after Anya came out presenting the last round of dessert and received a standing ovation.</p>
<p>She's gotta give props where props are due. Only Raven would manage it this quickly.</p>
<p>And all before Clarke had even kissed Lexa.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke is in the shower, happily steaming and reliving her night when Raven crashes into the bathroom and scares her enough that she almost slips and falls and hits her head.</p>
<p>"What the fuck, Rae!"</p>
<p>"Oh my god, Clarke. Oh my <em>holy</em> god. If you thought that woman was impressive in the kitchen, you have <em>no</em> fucking idea."</p>
<p>Clarke opens the glass door and peeks her head out, mostly to glare, but also to take a look at the state of her friend.</p>
<p>Raven is preening in front of the mirror, wiping last night's makeup off her face. Clarke spots a couple hickies and her dress is quite possibly ripped. A surge of jealousy flares up and she retreats back into the warmth of her shower.</p>
<p>"Noted."</p>
<p>"I'm fucking exhausted but damn was it worth it." Raven, for her part, does not add on. Which is interesting. She has had a habit of sharing decidedly too much information of her conquests and hookups in the past. "How was the rest of your night?"</p>
<p>There is also an absence of snark. Could she possibly be feeling guilt at abandoning Clarke to get laid? <em>The</em> Raven Reyes?</p>
<p>"Low key. Went on a carriage ride, called my mom, bed by one."</p>
<p>"Hmm. So my plan to extricate Anya and free up Lexa for your evening didn't work then?"</p>
<p>Clarke has never been happier to be hidden away from Raven's prying eyes. "Was that your plan? Seems like that was a potential additional perk of your plan."</p>
<p>"Hey, a perk is a perk. When is she gonna get her ass in gear? You're a fucking hot movie star. It's pretty much everyone's wet dream, let's be real."</p>
<p>"Say some. Comes with some pressure for others, I guess." Clarke pauses and then changes tactics. "Hey, I'm finishing up in here, can you scram?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, no prob. I hope you saved me some hot water, I'm gonna need a good soak."</p>
<p>Once she's alone, she takes a good long look at herself in the mirror and knows Raven will pick up on the change in an instant if she isn't distracted. There's a smile that Clarke hasn't been able to wipe off her face and a bounce to her step and just. She feels renewed.</p>
<p>She sends a message out to the universe hoping that Raven will be too tired and wrapped up in her own hot chef to care at all about the change in Clarke's demeanor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa takes her time returning to the inn. Even though her entire being is aching to see Clarke she intentionally waits. Actually sleeps in for a little while and lounges in bed reading a few chapters of the new book she was gifted last night from one of their regular guests. She takes a long shower and pulls on her favorite sweater, forgoing the Christmas themed one she had planned earlier in the week.</p>
<p>She tries not to imagine what it would be like to have Clarke <em>here</em> with her in this space that is fully her own.</p>
<p>The sound of crunching snow under her boots will never, ever, get old as she meanders on her walk up. The cool, brisk morning air feels refreshing and the sun gleams off the freshly fallen snow because the end to this weather pattern is nowhere in sight.</p>
<p>Lucky her.</p>
<p>It means more time with Clarke.</p>
<p>Clarke who kissed her eagerly last night. Who opened her mouth and deepened it. Testing the waters with a sign and a hand on Lexa's neck.</p>
<p>For once in her life. Just this once, she's not going to think about what comes next.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The inn is quiet when she arrives. Padma, Anya's sous chef, has breakfast lined up and ready to go out for the guests who are awake and hungry. Lexa makes herself a latte, swiping some of the peppermint mocha sauce from the fridge and adding a dollop of the fresh whipped cream that rests on the island next to the fruit bowl.</p>
<p>It is Christmas after all.</p>
<p>Not that she needs the caffeine. She woke up buzzing and smiling. Feels the buzz intensify thinking about when Clarke will descend.</p>
<p>She ventures out to the front desk greeting the sleepy guests who sit in the dining room - it's still set up from last night and perfect for the holiday. Echo greets her with a warm smile and a Merry Christmas before updating her on the absolutely nothing that happened overnight. Lexa thanks her and sends her home for some sleep before their early dinner later. Her latte is perfect and the sun is shining and Anya hasn't given her any shit yet today.</p>
<p>And then.</p>
<p>And then Clarke Griffin rounds the corner wearing a red and green scotch plaid with the top three buttons undone showing off her collarbones and oh so much skin. It's paired with artfully ripped jeans and brown laced boots that Lexa covets. And wow is it a <em>look.</em></p>
<p>Clarke wears a huge smile on her face, and her cheeks redden when she takes a look at Lexa.</p>
<p>"Hi," she says quietly.</p>
<p>"Good morning," Lexa answers, reaching out for Clarke's hand and leading her to the library. The doors were closed all night so there is no one inside when Lexa pulls Clarke into her. The kiss is soft and slow, tentative in the way all new kisses are. Her stomach swoops when Clarke's free hand finds her back and pulls her closer, ever closer. She changes the angle of the kiss and swallows Clarke's happy sigh.</p>
<p>"Merry Christmas," she whispers against Clarke's lips. Reluctantly pulling away to rest their foreheads together.</p>
<p>"You said that already," Clarke smiles. Drops another kiss on her lips.</p>
<p>"It's worth repeating."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kissing Lexa is unlike anything Clarke has ever experienced.</p>
<p>Hands hold her steady and lips seek her out with such a gentle need, a yearning that spans across eons and destinies. It is thrilling and safe and everything a kiss should be.</p>
<p>They stay tucked away in the library trading kisses for what feels like the blink of an eye and Clarke doesn't want to ever stop. Wants to stand here for the next forever being held in Lexa's embrace.</p>
<p>The large clock by the desk chimes on the hour and Lexa sighs. Pulls away from Clarke though she tries to follow. Distracts her from stopping once, then twice. Before she's met with a gentle smile and an admonishing "Clarke."</p>
<p>"We waited too long to start doing this," Clarke says. Her fingers wrapping themselves in the belt loops on Lexa's jeans and pulling her in, in.</p>
<p>Feels a burst of pride at Lexa's answering laugh and her bashful grin. Thrills at the way Lexa's warm hands squeeze her hips.</p>
<p>"I have to agree with you there. Where's your cohort?"</p>
<p>"Raven? Haven't you heard?"</p>
<p>Lexa's brow furrows. "Heard what?"</p>
<p>"She spent the night with Anya," Clarke grins like a madwoman. Lexa's face morphs from one of disbelief to a roll of the eyes. "Apparently, Anya's talents extend outside the kitchen."</p>
<p>When Lexa groans and mutters out an <em>I didn't want to know that</em> Clarke kisses her again in apology.</p>
<p>"Neither did I, but now we can be tortured together. Anyway, she's upstairs taking a long shower and grabbing a <em>power nap</em>," Clarke emphasizes it exactly like Raven did and tugs on Lexa's belt loops again.</p>
<p>"Well, I guess I have you all to myself this morning. Lucky me," Lexa smirks and closes the gap again. This kiss is deeper than the others. Hungrier. Stokes a fire inside Clarke.</p>
<p>"Lexa," she gasps, knees shaking. Grateful that Lexa has a hold on her as greedy lips move down her jaw, to her neck, taking their time and their fill. Clarke is trying her best to hold on for dear life, melting into this woman who is intent on ruining her.</p>
<p>There is a wickedly devious smile on Lexa's face when she finally extricates herself from Clarke's neck. Clarke doesn't even remember her own name.</p>
<p>"Have I mentioned this is the best Christmas I've had in ages?" Lexa absolutely preens and where has this confident swagger been? It looks good on her. Almost as good as the cream colored fisherman's sweater that sits on her slender frame. Clarke twirls her finger around Lexa's waves, hanging loose over her shoulders for the first time. Her hair is magnificent and made even more so by the morning sun that streams in through the window. She tugs and earns an affectionate smile.</p>
<p>"Ditto," she matches Lexa's cheeky smile and runs her hands up Lexa's arms to rest on her shoulders.</p>
<p>Clarke had swooned immediately upon seeing Lexa. She had a moment to observe her, the cozy sweater and the loose hair before she was spotted. Swooned at the way Lexa's whole being lit up at seeing her.</p>
<p>Is more than happy she had the wherewithal to lead them in here and kiss her silly.</p>
<p>And, honestly, it doesn't look like the swooning is going to stop anytime soon. Not when Lexa is touching her. And staring at her lips like she wants nothing more than to start up again. Clarke moves her hands up behind Lexa's neck and closes the distance, kissing her sweetly. Openly. With all the affection she can already feel bubbling up and over.</p>
<p>Feelings that seem almost too big for only three days.</p>
<p>And yet.</p>
<p>Not nearly big enough at all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lexa is perfectly content to hide in the library kissing Clarke for the entire day, learning her little noises and gasps, the way she grabs hold of Lexa when it all gets to be too much, the way she changes the angle of the kiss and takes control when she wants to.</p>
<p>It is a divine experience.</p>
<p>But, stay in here making out for the entire day they cannot do. Not when Lexa is technically on the clock and not when they have a full house of merriment for the holiday.</p>
<p>"I should get this fire going," Lexa says against Clarke's lips. Not really convinced she needs to stop and move away yet.</p>
<p>"I mean, we could say that you have," Clarke says and claims her mouth again. Dipping her tongue in a wicked slide and turning Lexa's brain to mush. Between Clarke's mouth and hands on hers, the scent of Clarke's subtle perfume, and the perfection of this moment, Lexa is a lost cause.</p>
<p>"Was that a joke?" Once she can she pulls away with a proud teasing grin.</p>
<p>Clarke's hands slide down from her neck and tug at the ends of her hair. She hasn't stopped playing with Lexa's hair all morning. "The best jokes are rooted in truth aren't they?"</p>
<p>They both laugh and with a reluctant sigh, Lexa steps away. "Put a pin in that, okay?" she winks and turns around to get the fire built back up from last night. Clarke plops in the armchair she has seemingly claimed as her own and makes no qualms about watching Lexa work. "Are you enjoying this?"</p>
<p>"You? Bent over a fireplace? Working with your hands in those tight jeans? Absolutely, I am."</p>
<p>Lexa blushes but doesn't try to hide it this time, wanting Clarke to see the full effect she has on her.</p>
<p>"I only wish I had my phone to capture this moment in all its glory for perpetuity."</p>
<p>"Forgot it upstairs?"</p>
<p>"Unfortunately. I was trying to get out of Raven's way as quickly as possible…" she looks up and her lips tilt into that smirk Lexa has already decided belongs to her. "Plus, there was this girl I wanted to see."</p>
<p>"Competition, huh? You'll have to point her out so I can try to win my case."</p>
<p>Clarke rolls her eyes and it feels like a win. The fire is started in no time and Lexa brushes off her hands and leans over the chair to kiss Clarke again. A prize for all her hard won efforts. But also mostly just because she <em>can.</em></p>
<p>"Hey, do you think that I can join you guys for your Boxing Day family meal tomorrow?" Clarke almost doesn't look at her as she asks.</p>
<p>Lexa drops another reassuring kiss on her lips, and then her cheek. "I was planning on it."</p>
<p>"Oh! Good. Do you think that Anya will let me make something for it?"</p>
<p>Lexa laughs and kneels down in front of Clarke in the chair to play with her hands. "Honestly, I don't see Anya ever allowing it. She does <em>not</em> like people in her kitchen."</p>
<p>"Okay yeah, but like, what if I put on my movie star charm and just," she flounces her hair and puts on a megawatt smile, "ask without asking?"</p>
<p>Lexa tries not to kiss her. Really tries not to act this caught up in all of it. But it proves impossible. "You can try," she says against Clarke's lips.</p>
<p>And, well, at least the fire got made.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They're pulled apart eventually by the ringing of the little bell on the front desk. With a groan, Lexa extricates herself slowly but surely from Clarke's arms. They spend a few minutes rearranging themselves, shirts have become wrinkled and untucked and hair is a mess. But as soon as Clarke deems her presentable Lexa exits the library promising to check in on her throughout the day.</p>
<p>She is, however, immediately bowled over by Raven who speeds past her and into the library leaving her confused when no one waits for her at the front desk.</p>
<p>"Wait, was that you?"</p>
<p>"Yeah I needed Clarke and figured she'd be holed up with you somewhere, looks like I was right." Raven is panting and looks like she's just woken up. "Clarke, <em>Clarke</em>, your agent has been calling and texting nonstop." She throws Clarke her phone and Clarke grabs it with wide eyes.</p>
<p>"Oh my god, do you think?" Clarke stands up out of the chair and both start bouncing around.</p>
<p>"I don't know but if it was just to say Merry Christmas we have <em>got</em> to talk about his priorities. <em>Fucking call him back</em>."</p>
<p>Lexa watches it all unfold from the door to the library, pulling it mostly closed behind her to provide them still with some privacy. Clarke paces the room. "Marcus, hey. Uh huh. <em>Really</em>? Wait you actually mean it? Holy shit, okay this is huge." She reaches behind her and grabs Raven's hand, putting the phone on speaker.</p>
<p>Lexa doesn't know what she's expecting Clarke's agent to sound like, but calm and collected was not at the top of her list. "<em>Yeah, the papers will be drawn up next week, but it's official. Your bid wasn't the only one they've had but when you said you wanted to convince Indra to direct, that is what put it over the top.</em>"</p>
<p>"Oh my god. <em>Oh my god!</em>"</p>
<p>"<em>Congratulations, Clarke. I'll be emailing you the paperwork once it comes through but this is going to the trades now. Twitter seems to already have picked up on it</em>."</p>
<p>"Holy shit. Okay, thank you so much, Marcus."</p>
<p>"<em>You did all the work, Clarke. I'm just happy to deliver this news. Merry Christmas</em>."</p>
<p>"Merry Christmas to you, too!"</p>
<p>As soon as the call is disconnected Raven pulls Clarke into a huge hug and they jump and dance in front of the fire screeching and laughing with so much glee that it even puts a smile on Lexa's face. Clarke sees her standing there and her smile gets even wider. "This is the best fucking Christmas of my life!" She tilts her head back and yells it out loud earning more laughs from both Raven and Lexa. "Guess who is attached to produce, adapt, and star in <em>The 13th Station</em>?"</p>
<p>Lexa's jaw drops. Is this how quickly Hollywood works? "Wait, really?"</p>
<p>"Yeah. Raven and I discussed it the other day and she put feelers out - we submitted a bid to get the rights late Wednesday night."</p>
<p>"When it's right, it's right," Raven says. Her jumping has not stopped. "We have to start scoping this out - I have so many ideas but I didn't want to get my hopes up," she grabs her own phone and starts typing something quickly.</p>
<p>But Clarke, Clarke looks over at Lexa with so much open affection that it steals the breath completely from her lungs.</p>
<p>She'd have to agree with Clarke's statement. Best fucking Christmas of her life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The rest of Christmas passes quickly once they get the news. Clarke and Raven set to work and begin breaking down what they envision for the film adaptation - the tone they want to set, specific beats they know they want to hit, and who the rest of their dream cast is. Raven has a million and one ideas and Clarke gets another understanding of why Indra has worked with her almost exclusively on her last three films.</p>
<p>It also gives her something else to talk about besides her crazy hot sex marathon with Anya and Clarke is ever grateful for that small grace.</p>
<p>Lexa pops in from time to time to check on them and to share little smiles and flirts with Clarke. She brings them snacks and drinks as they've basically taken over this entire room but if the other guests mind, Clarke remains unaware.</p>
<p>They work until the sun starts to set and then decide to talk a walk outside to stretch and reset. When Clarke calls her mother with the good news she decides to facetime to see the reaction on Abby's face. It is priceless.</p>
<p>When they arrive back at the inn, it is to a smiling Lexa out on the front porch, who glances up with a cheeky grin at the mistletoe hanging just above the door.</p>
<p>"Alright, gross. I'm out." Raven shoves by them and inside while Clarke giggles.</p>
<p>She pulls Lexa closer and kisses her. Something about this kiss. Outside in the fresh air, in the last embers of the day's sun, her cold nose on Lexa's warm cheek. This kiss. Burrows deep inside Clarke making a home in her heart forever.</p>
<p>"Dinner is ready, do you want to sit in the back with us?"</p>
<p>She smiles against Lexa's cheek and drops a few pecks there. "Yeah, I'd like that."</p>
<p>Lexa takes her by the hand and leads her back inside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Anya has them all seated at the long kitchen island - staff and the two LA transplants - and presents a beautiful pair of beef wellingtons for the table. Yorkshire pudding, gravy, glazed carrots, roasties. It's the fixings for a proper traditional Christmas feast in all of its glory. They're eating early to accommodate actual dinner service and the kitchen staff finishes quickly to get to their other tasks.</p>
<p>Clarke watches Anya as they begin to eat. She subtly pays attention to every bite Raven takes, even if she is speaking with others in the room. The beef is cooked to perfection, the potatoes are ridiculously crispy and creamy in stride, and the Yorkshire pudding changes Clarke's entire life.</p>
<p>The best part, though, is Lexa's hand holding hers under the table when she can and Lexa's thigh resting against hers through it all.</p>
<p>Once they've finished eating in the room filled with joy and laughter and relief of a job well done, Lexa clinks her wine glass and raises it to get everyone's attention. She doesn't stand but she commands the room all the same.</p>
<p>"I just wanted to say that I think last night's event was our best one yet. We worked as a team and created a beautiful moment in time. Thank you for all of your hard work, your patience, your input, and your support. I am grateful to each and every one of you. Especially you, Anya. You pulled out all the stops and you're here again feeding us all, and I am so honored to be on this journey with you. Merry Christmas to you all! Here's to a good service to close it out!"</p>
<p>Lincoln pipes up with a loud "Hear hear," and the room booms again with applause and cheers and a sharp whistle. Anya looks flustered in a way that humanizes her and somehow also makes her more intimidating.</p>
<p>"Alright, alright, this still doesn't mean I like any of you. Especially you, Lex." She snarks, but her eyes look a little watery as she throws a roll at Lexa's face. Just in time for Lexa to deflect it right into Clarke's.</p>
<p>There is a hushed moment of silence, baited and waiting for Clarke's reaction. She lets out a bark of laughter and throws the roll at Lincoln and the room joins in again. Lexa squeezes her shoulder quickly in soft apology.</p>
<p>This holiday started off less than ideal, but it turns out, Clarke wouldn't change a single second of any of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dessert has been had, wine and drinks have been drunk, carols have been sung, all of it by staff and guests alike. Echo has officially clocked in, and Raven has just disappeared with Anya leaving the two of them alone by the fire when Clarke yawns with a stretch that leans her body further into Lexa.</p>
<p>It's late.</p>
<p>Almost midnight again.</p>
<p>Even though they ate an early dinner, they took their time enjoying each other's company and reveling in the holiday feelings.</p>
<p>It wasn't the entire Trikru staff with them tonight - some have the pleasure of being from town or close by, and can make short drives to visit family if they're off. Tomorrow, though. Tomorrow's family meal will be the real celebration, with all the people Lexa considers her own. Has found and refashioned and made into a family.</p>
<p>It suits her, this life. This inn and the people in it.</p>
<p>And with Clarke snuggling up next to her by the fire she feels a particular sense of happiness.</p>
<p>"It's getting late," Clarke all but whispers. Intent clear in her voice.</p>
<p>"Is it? I hadn't noticed." Lexa's lips find Clarke's brow.</p>
<p>Clarke's hands tighten around her. "Do you wanna walk me up?" Her voice is husky and dripping with desire. Lexa wouldn't be able to refuse even if she wanted to. Even if it is a completely earth shattering moment to be asked up to <em>Clarke Griffin's</em> room. A Christmas fantasy somehow made real by the universe.</p>
<p>She pulls Clarke to her feet and into her. One last kiss in front of the fire. One last moment in the middle of all the ambiance. She almost can't look at Clarke head on. As if looking at Clarke will be too much. As if looking at Clarke with the knowledge of what happens next will shatter it somehow.</p>
<p>They sneak out the back of the library and up the stairs, hand in hand, sharing loaded looks, the air between them heavy and sparking. Clarke's grip is soft yet sure around Lexa's clammy one. And her steps are determined and steady where Lexa's are shaky with adrenaline and the headrush of what is about to come. And she is calm and confident for Lexa. For Lexa who somehow, against all odds, cannot believe her luck.</p>
<p>That Clarke is <em>here</em>. With her.</p>
<p>That Clarke wants her, the same way that she wants Clarke.</p>
<p>And though Lexa was not expecting the day to end this way she is not surprised and definitely not slowing it down.</p>
<p>Clarke unlocks the door and pulls Lexa inside with a shy smile that Lexa is compelled to kiss. Her hands weave into Clarke's hair and Clarke's body is up against hers and everything, everything in her life has led to this exact moment.</p>
<p>There is fire behind the softness, a fire that knows no bounds.</p>
<p>Lexa cannot wait any longer to let that fire consume her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke is smiling before she's even fully awake. The sun is shining through the gaps in the curtains she hastily but apparently not fully closed the previous night and brightens the room. And even though Clarke is objectively tired she doesn't feel it. Her body is flooded with that melty honeyed kind of happiness and satisfaction.</p>
<p>Lexa stirs next to her.</p>
<p>
  <em>Lexa. </em>
</p>
<p>Naked and soft and looking so small in this huge bed.</p>
<p>Lexa with sleep warm skin and messy tangled hair and a wonderful stretch of back that Clarke scoots over to kiss. And kiss, and kiss. The answering hum buzzes under her lips and Lexa shifts to look at her.</p>
<p>It is a look that is so tender it shakes Clarke completely. Rattles and hums to life within her.</p>
<p>"Mornin'" Lexa mutters. Reaching out and pulling Clarke closer. Ever closer.</p>
<p>"Good morning," Clarke says. Her voice deeper and huskier than normal even to her own ears. She watches the effect of it flicker across Lexa's face as eyes darken.</p>
<p>And then Lexa's mouth is on hers and it is Clarke's favorite morning. They swap sleepy, slow kisses and smiles, hands brushing warm skin. Lexa props herself up over Clarke and her hair hangs down between them. Clarke tries to pin it back behind her ears, but it's useless. Lexa's hair, she's learned, has a life of its own.</p>
<p>Those green eyes sparkle.</p>
<p>"Okay, I need to say it. This bed is amazing."</p>
<p>Clarke giggles. "Honestly, yes. This bed is my favorite thing in this room. I mean last night was amazing and you're great but <em>this bed</em>."</p>
<p>Lexa's resounding laughter is so bright and beautiful. "Wow, okay. I see how it is."</p>
<p>"Just stating facts." Clarke shrugs and shoves Lexa's shoulder with a grin, leaning up to kiss a playful pout off those plump lips.</p>
<p>"I never even tried these mattresses out when we bought them, we just went with what some of the other hotels recommended. I have to say, they were worth the money. Like, what if they were awful?"</p>
<p>Clarke gasps, fake shocked. "What, you mean you don't make a habit of <em>testing the beds</em> when gorgeous women check-in?"</p>
<p>Lexa laughs again and it is quickly becoming Clarke's favorite sound. Even if her face blooms red with the teasing and she squirms a little when Clarke pokes her belly. She shifts off of Clarke and turns on her side to face her.</p>
<p>"Can't say I have. Speaking of… I can't believe I now have to find a way to sneak out to my house and change." She groans and Clarke cackles with absolute glee.</p>
<p>"Oh my god <em>you're right</em>," she says around a laugh. Leaning her forehead against Lexa who pouts even bigger than last time. "I didn't even think about that. Wow, we had poor planning huh?"</p>
<p>"I mean, I don't think either of us was thinking clearly last night past the immediate goal, were we?"</p>
<p>"Fair point. I mean, I can just… let you borrow a sweater or something."</p>
<p>Lexa considers it for a moment. "Maybe." She sighs and smirks as Clarke readjusts to face her and the sheets fall away. Her pupils dilate and Clarke can't even blame her. "If you would have told me even a week ago that I'd be in bed with my celeb crush, I would have never believed you."</p>
<p>"Celeb crush you say?" Clarke wiggles her eyebrows and enjoys this opportunity to play. "Tell me more. Are you following me on Instagram? How many of my movies have you seen, which is your favorite and why?"</p>
<p>And Lexa positively squirms. "Fuck. What have I done? You're going to be insufferable now, aren't you."</p>
<p>"Wasn't I already, babe?"</p>
<p>The way that Lexa smiles then, so affectionate and so genuine, zings through Clarke. Settles in her belly and sends it swooping. And well, if she does her best to make sure Lexa stays in this bed even longer, she can't say she's sorry.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The kitchen is quiet, which makes sense since Anya isn't back yet and they've effectively shut down for the day for the most part. There is an easy breakfast buffet for guests to pick at should they choose and another food truck will be coming for lunch and then the pizzas will get delivered for dinner.</p>
<p>It's unorthodox, but it works and guests don't really seem to complain.</p>
<p>Lexa is able to sneak out and back to the inn quickly much to her delight. Anya has just arrived when Lexa comes back. She's smiling and humming, clearly unaware that anyone else is in the kitchen. That is until Clarke bursts in and surprises them both.</p>
<p>When Anya looks up and sees Lexa standing by the back door she knows she's caught.</p>
<p>"I'm so glad you're here, Anya," Clarke says with a smile and a sly look at Lexa. "I was wondering if it would be possible for me to pop in here and make something to bring to family meal later?" She does actually seem to flounce her hair and put a little extra <em>pep</em> on for show.</p>
<p>Lexa has never actually been this turned on by someone turning it on before. Flipping that switch into a different mode. She just hopes Anya lets her down easy.</p>
<p>"Yeah, have at it. Just don't fuck with my pans, and stay in your corner and if you touch any of the marinades in the fridge I'll end you."</p>
<p>"Really?" Clarke sends a hopeful glance towards Lexa's general direction.</p>
<p>Anya is busy tying her apron around her back and still getting settled. Lexa wonders if there's something hiding up her sleeve. "Yeah, why not. Can't say I've ever had a movie star cook for me before. Let's see what you got."</p>
<p>"Oh, this is great. It's just dessert so don't get your hopes up."</p>
<p>"My hopes are never up, chefs are notoriously hard to please," Anya says it with a smile and Clarke huffs out a laugh.</p>
<p>"Noted." Clarke smiles. "Do you have any extra aprons?"</p>
<p>Anya points to where Lexa is standing. There's a look on her face that Lexa just can't quite read yet. "There's a cubby back there with extra clean aprons folded up. Just grab one and the pantry is over here so take a look around and I'll help you get the rest of it."</p>
<p>"I thought you had the day off?"</p>
<p>"I never have the day off. Even if the kitchen is closed I still have to check supplies and prep for the next day. But, it won't take me long."</p>
<p>Lexa slides out of Clarke's way and into the kitchen as she passes to grab an apron. "Would either of you like a latte?"</p>
<p>"Only if you actually clear the steamer out this time," Anya looks at her pointedly. "I know you were in here yesterday."</p>
<p>"Good thing you're here to remind me, then."</p>
<p>And just like that, the three of them settle into a weird little party in the kitchen. Clarke grabs supplies and tells Anya what else she needs in terms of equipment and sets herself up near the range. Anya digs around the fridge and preps some vegetables that haven't been cleaned yet, checking her stock of broths and meat as she goes. And Lexa makes three lattes for them, posting up on the stool at the end of the island counter to watch it all unfold.</p>
<p>"You don't have to play guard dog," Anya mutters low enough so Clarke won't hear.</p>
<p>"I'm not."</p>
<p>"You are."</p>
<p>"An - I'm really not."</p>
<p>"Mmk. Want to tell me why you were late this morning?"</p>
<p>"I don't know, want to tell me why <em>you </em>were late this morning?" She spins it right back around. The only reason she knows that Anya spent the last two nights sharing Raven's company is because of Clarke.</p>
<p>It's not unusual for Anya to not share the details. But her very happy mood this morning was.</p>
<p>"I see we're at an impasse."</p>
<p>"That we are," Lexa agrees.</p>
<p>She finishes her latte and enjoys the way Anya answers Clarke's gentle and mundane questions and talks about all her geeky kitchen supplies. Clarke seems perfectly at ease in the kitchen even if this one is unfamiliar to her. She fangirls over the giant range, asks about the brands of pans Anya likes most and describes in detail her favorite whisk that's old and almost broken but that she cannot replace. Lexa notices that Clarke does not whip out her phone to reference a recipe, but seems to move at memory through her paces. It is a new side to her that Lexa finds just as impressive. She places her empty cup in the sink and with a parting glance over her shoulder disappears back to her post at the front desk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They've taken up the whole back patio and deck. Between the heat lamps that are all on, the roaring bonfire, and with the actual slightly mild, well milder than the last few days, weather the setting is pleasant. There are blankets on all the benches and the tables have been pushed together into one long wonderful table for all the staff to take over.</p>
<p>Everyone brings a dish, some hot, some cold, some entrees, some apps, a few desserts. And all of Lexa's favorite people.</p>
<p>Lincoln unloads a small keg and a box full of growlers and cans from their favorite local brewery, Octavia follows up with her homemade limoncello, Anya presents french onion macaroni and cheese that Lexa already plans on dedicating a significant portion of her plate to. Lexa herself has brought her famous chili that everyone requests every year, barring her from bringing anything new.</p>
<p>Raven and Clarke walk out of the kitchen smiling. Clarke with a casserole dish and Raven with two bottles of homemade coquito. They seem to be sharing some kind of private joke between the two of them and Lexa can't imagine what kind of trouble they get up to on set.</p>
<p>Though, she kind of wants to see it firsthand.</p>
<p>Once they all sit down and Lexa takes a long look at all her people in one place, she is overcome with a sense of gratefulness.</p>
<p>Raven and Clarke are deep in conversation next to her, planning out their next few weeks of adaptation and storyboarding in an odd quiet frenzied hush. Lexa catches a few snippets and adds them to what Clarke has shared with her over the past day - that she is in between projects right now and so this timing is perfect, that Raven will be off their current movie soon, but can multitask until she is, that she is beyond excited that this is the first property that will live under her newly formed production house.</p>
<p>All of these details have added to the picture of Clarke. Filled in the gaps and surprised Lexa in the best possible way.</p>
<p>She knows she is falling fast and instead of questioning it, she's just going with it. Leaning in. Every step has felt <em>right</em>. Fortuitous.</p>
<p>Acts of serendipity.</p>
<p>Clarke's hand finds her leg under the table and gives a gentle squeeze. "Rae, we have to table the shop talk for just a little bit."</p>
<p>"Right, yeah, right, but you know me. You know my brain, always moving, always pulling the pieces together."</p>
<p>"I do, and I love that, but I also want to get a little buzz on." Clarke laughs and Raven holds up her own glass to cheers to that.</p>
<p>Anya chooses her moment perfectly. "So, Clarke, I'm assuming we can drop the alias now that this is the second meal you've had with staff," she glances around the table and dares Clarke to say no. Clarke, for her part, goes right with it and meets Anya beat for beat with a nod. "Tell us what you brought for us tonight."</p>
<p>Clarke grins. "The absolute, very best, most delicious rice pudding known to man."</p>
<p>"Rice pudding. Bold. Not always something people are gonna go for. I like it."</p>
<p>It's as close as a seal of approval that Clarke is gonna get out of Anya. Clarke seems to realize that too if her chuffed look is anything to go by.</p>
<p>When Lexa takes her first bite later under the watchful, nervous eye of Clarke, she is inclined to agree wholeheartedly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xx</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So, I have good news and I have bad news. Which do you want first?"</p>
<p>Lexa is folding all the discarded blankets as people have dispersed down into the igloos that are still dotting the lawn and over to the outdoor bar that's still set up when Clarke comes back out to find her.</p>
<p>"Uh, I guess bad news?"</p>
<p>Clarke smiles and picks up a blanket to fold with her. "Well, I hope you have some more rock salt somewhere because a weather alert just came through when we were inside and there's another storm moving in. Supposed to hit tomorrow."</p>
<p>"Fuck, really?"</p>
<p>She nods. "Yeah. But that leads me to a very important question." She smirks and moves closer. Tossing the blanket aside to grab Lexa's waist and close all the physical distance between them.</p>
<p>"What's that?"</p>
<p>And that giant, gentle, megawatt smile is back. "What are you doing for New Year's?"</p>
<p>Lexa flutters and laughs, wrapping her arms around Clarke and nuzzling into her. She feels slightly guilty for enjoying the storms that have absolutely pounded the state, thankful for what they've brought her. Clarke looks so pleased with herself and content with the news and with Lexa's reaction.</p>
<p>And Lexa is still awash in utter disbelief that this is somehow real life. <em>Her</em> real life. Clarke Griffin here in her arms, kissing her and making plans for New Year's.</p>
<p>Clarke Griffin, probably stuck here for another week, at least.</p>
<p>Clarke Griffin, who she has seen in all her naked glory. Who started following her back on social media. Who posted a great picture from Christmas Eve with a wonderfully sweet caption about the best surprises often come from the best laid plans.</p>
<p>"I don't know, got any ideas?"</p>
<p>When she meets Clarke in a kiss, she can taste the smile that lives there and all the possibility and excitement it holds.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is a combo of some of my favorite things, borrowed and mishmashed favorite movies, and just a whole heap of fun. I didn't expect writing this to be so fun, but it really truly was.</p>
<p>This would not have happened without Mopey. Literally. She held my hand and helped me work this out and hyped me up and I remain ever grateful for her support in this and in life. The moodboard on tumblr was her doing. The poking me to write this was her doing. The editing and the flailing. All of it. She's a good egg.</p>
<p>Whew. It has been a year, folks. I am so happy to have my fandom friends and to experience all the ups and downs that fandom and our tumblr community provide. I love you all. Stay safe out there. Cherish the small moments, find the joy and hold on to it as long as you can. Be kind to one another but don't take any shit.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Didn't think I was done with these two, did you?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The days in between Christmas and New Year are always a weird liminal space - existing between all bounds and understanding of time.</p><p>This year, this year proves no different. Seems to even take that idea of liminal space and says <em>hold my beer</em>. The last three days since Boxing Day pass by in slow motion, with loaded glances, stolen kisses, and meals filled with laughter and warmth that bubbles up and over into an effervescence that seems to fill the inn and settle over everyone.</p><p>The nights though. The nights go too quickly. Filled with lips, hands, sweat, naked skin, gasping breaths. There is not enough time in those dark hours to satiate the burning desire that exists between their two bodies. Not nearly enough time.</p><p>"This is ridiculous, you know," she says. Tired blue eyes watch from the bed, the sheets a tangle around her. Lexa rummages through the small overnight bag that sits next to Clarke's luggage.</p><p>"What is?"</p><p>"Just the fact that I brought a bag up here when my entire wardrobe is five hundred yards out back in my perfectly wonderful house," she grumps.</p><p>A slow sleepy smile grows on Clarke's face. Lexa has learned many things about Clarke Griffin over the past few days. Many important things.</p><p>One of which is that Clarke finds it irresistibly endearing when Lexa pouts and grumps about something. Who knows why.</p><p>"Yeah but <em>this</em> bed is up here and I know how we both feel about this bed," she says, succumbing to a yawn and a languid stretch that rearranges the sheets around her body and has Lexa rethinking the need for clothes at all. "Nuh uh - I know that look." There's a wicked smirk that Lexa would like to taste. "I'm tired of you blaming me for being late when you're the one who always gets handsy in the morning."</p><p>Lexa pointedly looks down at the scene, her eyes always drawn right where Clarke wants them. Like moths to a flame. "Can you blame me?" And really, it's not her fault she wakes up to a naked Clarke Griffin who is soft and warm and wrapped up around her.</p><p>Well, it is technically her fault since she removes Clarke's clothes every night…</p><p>But Clarke's husky voice and messy bed hair are all her own and they are a marvel.</p><p>Hell she should receive a rousing round of applause and pats on the back every morning she manages to show up for work at all.</p><p>Clarke laughs, smug and proud from her nest on the bed. "Not even a little bit, babe."</p><p>The way she says babe, so casually and easily, causes Lexa's stomach to swoop just like it has since the first time on that very first morning.</p><p>"Wanna hop in the shower with me?"</p><p>Clarke glances at the clock on the nightstand. "You have fifteen minutes before your shift, do you really think that's a good idea?" There's a challenge in her eyes.</p><p>"No, I think it's a <em>great</em> idea."</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>"Should we feel a little bad that we basically commandeered the library for our entire stay?" Clarke asks, looking up from her laptop with a sudden surge of something feeling like guilt.</p><p>"Uh, no. Plus there is absolutely no way that I'm working in your sex den."</p><p>"Rae."</p><p>"Clarke." It's a glance that says a thousand words. Raven is right though, if Clarke was working on that bed she would end up in that bed catching up on the sleep she's been missing. As if on cue, Raven stifles a yawn and searches around for her coffee mug. "Anyway your <em>girlfriend </em>pretty much told us to work here and spread out and then <em>brought us supplies</em> and she runs the place so I'm taking that as a sign that it's okay."</p><p>The library has become their writers' room so to speak. Every morning once Raven has returned to the inn and cleaned up, they settle in for a long day of work on their adaptation. The papers have been inked and Indra has been told the basics, though she hasn't officially signed on yet, too busy with the current project she has in production.</p><p>They've storyboarded some of the major events from the novel to scope out and broken beats down act by act. Deciding what to cut out or mesh together from page to screen has proven… difficult between them.</p><p>Raven would like to keep as much as possible for integrity reasons, as would Clarke, but the run time might prove too long.</p><p>"I'm just saying can we write everything out and then see? If it's too long then we cut back."</p><p>"There's no way I'm going to convince you otherwise is there?"</p><p>"Nope."</p><p>"Okay then let's see how much we can get out before you go back to set next week."</p><p>"Do we have a plan for that? Have you thought about what we're going to do if and when this snow ever stops?"</p><p>The snowstorm that was promised to blow in after Boxing Day came full force and seems, in Clarke's estimation from the safety of a warm inn, worse than the one that forced her here in the first place.</p><p>"Honestly, I haven't given it much thought. Every time I try to plan something the snow has other ideas," she admits with a shrug. There have been some ideas bouncing around her head in the spare moments that haven't been taken by the plot for their movie and Lexa. "Might as well stick around here - I don't have anything waiting for me at home. Plus, it's not like <em>your</em> nights aren't occupied."</p><p>Raven, bless her, tries so hard not to blush. She coughs and finishes the last of her coffee. "I'm gonna grab another coffee, do you want anything."</p><p>"I'm good," Clarke replies, returning back to her laptop and the notes she's compiled so far. She doesn't want to think too far ahead but, she can't deny that she's happy here. Happy in this cozy inn. Happy working on something and feeling isolated, in a bubble of creative flow that seems organic, away from the stress of LA. She's hesitant to pop it, to leave this sanctum just because.</p><p>Being here has been rehabilitative for her soul.</p><p>Plus, she's more than happy with Lexa in her bed. And Lexa with her smiles checking on her. And with Lexa's endlessly appealing wardrobe that suits her so well. And just. Lexa.</p><p>She's gotten used to going with the flow and moving where the wind blows. Why stop now?</p><p>As if on cue, Lexa dips into the library with the smile that Clarke already knows belongs to her. "Oh hi."</p><p>"Oh, hi," Clarke echoes as Lexa crosses the room and bends down with a sweet kiss. Yeah, no chance Clarke is itching to leave this any time soon. Not with the way her heart flutters in her chest, and Lexa's smile tastes against her own.</p><p>"Where's Raven," Lexa asks, leaving a trail of kisses on Clarke's cheek and the freckle above her lip just because she can.</p><p>"She went to get more coffee but I bet if you went into the kitchen you'd find her huddled up with Anya somewhere." Clarke reaches out and tugs on Lexa's shirt to bring her back for another kiss. "I'm not complaining."</p><p>"Certainly has its advantages."</p><p>Clarke is already addicted to the way Lexa kisses her. There is weight behind each, no matter how soft, how fleeting. A weight that Clarke has never felt before with anyone. One that she welcomes for the way it sets her on fire.</p><p>"Can I steal you away later? How would you feel about ice skating?"</p><p>She tries, she really tries not to make a face but she can tell from Lexa's little giggle that she does not succeed. Has to hope no one will tell the Academy about her epic failure in this building - they'll revoke her past nomination and bar her from ever getting one again.</p><p>"I think I'd rather stay inside where it's warm and toasty and there are no blades around."</p><p>Lexa does that thing where her eyebrow quirks up teasingly and Clarke knows, just knows after only a few days, that Lexa has completely got a read on her. "If you want to go with the staying inside and not the fact that you don't want me to watch you fall on your ass over and over and be completely horrible at this, we can."</p><p>"Or I can tell you that if I want my legs to be that sore, I'd rather have more fun doing it." She tightens her grip on Lexa's shirt and earns the reaction she was hoping for. Dark eyes focus on her lips and only her lips. "Plus, fewer clothes are involved in my plan…" she leans in and says it into Lexa's mouth, not yet ready to seal the deal yet. Happy to toy.</p><p>"Now, that excuse I can get behind." Lexa sweeps her into a hungry kiss and all is right with the world.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>The kitchen is surprisingly calm when Lexa walks in to grab a drink. It's empty save for Anya hunched over the kitchen island scribbling quickly on a piece of paper. "Do you have any requests for the passed hors d'oeuvres for New Year's Eve? I'm doing a supplemental order and shop tomorrow."</p><p>"Uh?" Lexa would maybe have an answer if she wasn't completely taken off guard by Anya asking. Anya famously does not take requests. Not really ever. "Are you gonna do those oysters again?"</p><p>"Is that a request?" Anya pins her with a look.</p><p>"Yes. I'd like those oysters again."</p><p>"Great, okay. I think I've solidified the menu. I'm glad we don't go as big for this… I'm exhausted." She takes a swig from the coffee mug sitting next to her. Lexa can't help herself.</p><p>"Oh? Not sleeping well?"</p><p>If it were any other day and any other scenario she might be in trouble. But, Anya seems more mellowed out than Lexa has ever seen her - even if she has yet to fess up. She does not let on that Raven's attempts to sneak out unnoticed through the dining room were not successful. And though Anya doesn't <em>look</em> like someone who was just canoodling with a new flame, Lexa isn't sure Anya has ever canoodled in her life.</p><p>"You could say that."</p><p>"Mmm, yeah. Can't say I've been getting much sleep either," Lexa grins into her own glass of water. It's meant to be teasing and directed at Anya but a smile overcomes her whenever she thinks about Clarke and the activities they've been enjoying together for the past few days. "Do you feel ready?"</p><p>"For the evening event? Yeah, it's no big. My team can handle passed plates." Anya doesn't look up again and Lexa doesn't push it. She collects a plate of snacks and some waters to bring into the library with her, fueling the creative process as much as she can.</p><p>Raven is sitting by the fire when Lexa returns, and though her hair is messier than normal, she looks completely engrossed again in her work.</p><p>She and Clarke are debating how to unfurl a major plot point in the book, causing Lexa to grin. Clarke is passionately waving her hands around to make her points, her eyes alight as Raven types furiously on her laptop nodding along and making small noises of agreement. When she speaks it is only to counterpoint what Clarke has said and take them deeper into the story.</p><p>It's a kind of creativity Lexa has never been privy to before - she's watched Anya unleash her full imagination in the kitchen and tasted the fruits of it, she's worked with Lincoln on his many designs for the inn and has featured several of his paintings throughout the building and in her own home. She had a girlfriend in college who played guitar and liked to write her pretty little love songs.</p><p>But, this.</p><p>This is something totally new.</p><p>It's fascinating to watch them bicker while producing, working in a weird sync and shorthand that Lexa can tell was formed quickly between them. She adds another log to the fire and catches Clarke wink up at her.</p><p>It shouldn't be sexy, someone winking at her like that. But, because it's Clarke, and because her eyes are twinkling with mirth as she does it, and because she somehow makes a simple gray turtleneck sweater look amazing, it is.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>"Oh my god. I think I just got it," Raven exclaims. She rubs her hands on her face and looks up at Clarke with an excitement that's palpable.</p><p>"Got what?"</p><p>"Locked in. I figured it out. Fuck, okay."</p><p>"The script?"</p><p>"Yeah, I broke it. It's all here. I just have to type it out."</p><p>"Holy shit."</p><p>"I know. Okay - shut up now, I have to get this out." She swings her neck back and forth and stretches out her back and her arms before hunching back over the computer. Clarke has seen it more than enough times to understand that she is really, fully, zoned in.</p><p>Clarke laughs. "No problem. I'm gonna go upstairs?"</p><p>"Yeah, get out of here, I'll find you when the draft is done and then we can tweak."</p><p>Clarke gets out of her chair and stretches, her limbs tingling with excitement and potential that feels unreal. She knows the best thing she can do for this project is let Raven dig in and get whatever is in her brain out on the page. Knows that Raven will need her in the morning - to tell her what beats hit and what needs more.</p><p>Her part lives in the storyboards, in the tweaks, and then what will happen onscreen. But this, this is Raven's show right now.</p><p>She kisses the top of Raven's head on her way out and clears away some of the clutter they've collected over the course of the day. Raven has water and a carafe of coffee, some snacks, and a pile of firewood and blankets. Now all she needs is space.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>Lexa greets her at the front desk with a soft smile that quickens Clarke's heart for an entirely new and different reason.</p><p>"Something just clicked for Raven so I'm giving her space to work it all out. At her request," Clarke nods with a gentle laugh. "But that means I'm free now." She wiggles her eyebrows and Lexa's lips quirk up into a rakish grin.</p><p>"Oh yeah? That's good because Echo should be here any minute and then I <em>also</em> will be free."</p><p>"Look at that, both of us free." She stands there with a giddy smile, one that she'd be self-conscious of with anyone else. "I wonder what that means for the rest of the night."</p><p>"I like where your head's at. Although I have a sneaking suspicion you'll need actual food soon."</p><p>A laugh escapes Clarke. "I am pretty hungry yeah, we were getting regular snack delivery up until a while ago but even then…"</p><p>"I saved you a plate in the back. Do you want me to bring it upstairs?"</p><p>"I don't know - how cold is it outside? Do you think it would be warm enough for my LA blood out by the fire?" Lexa's eyes brighten and she perks up. "I know it's not ice skating but maybe if you dig up some marshmallows or something we can make s'mores for dessert?" She bats her eyelashes just because she can.</p><p>"I think I can handle that," Lexa replies with a smile rooted in secret knowledge. A smile Clarke wants to kiss but will wait until they're both in a more secluded spot.</p><p>And though the other guests may have clued in to the fact that someone famous is in their midst, they haven't bothered Clarke at all. Raven had been right all along.</p><p>Still. She'd like to stay in this cocoon with Lexa as long as possible. Just the two of them, spending their days learning about each other, sharing pieces of their life stories and jokes and laughs. Sneaking in little dates and clandestine kisses when possible in between the work and the life.</p><p>Spending their nights completely enthralled in and by each other.</p><p>Clarke can't wait to taste how much sweeter Lexa's marshmallow coated kisses will be once they get back up to her room. But that is for later. For now, there is a cute smiling girl ready to get her fed and cuddle up next to her by the fire.</p><p>And that, that is special and sacred in its own right.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>Lexa is soft and malleable and almost asleep when Clarke kisses her forehead and slides out of bed. There's a soft little hum of question and she leans back down to whisper, "I'm gonna go make sure Rae is okay and sit with her for a little bit. I'll be back." She drops a kiss by Lexa's ear for good measure and watches as her pillow is pulled over and spooned in her absence.</p><p>And even though Clarke is tired and sleepy and currently in that post-fabulous-sex haze, and even though she's leaving a gorgeous woman naked in her bed, and even though Raven will probably scold her for the disturbance, she's going to check in anyway.</p><p>The harsh wind blows loudly outside against the inn as Clarke sneaks downstairs, creaking and tiptoeing and trying not to startle herself. Growing up far away from the east coast, she is unfamiliar with the anger that lives behind the icy breath of winter. Echo offers a quiet smile while she mans the desk as Clarke approaches the library doors. She opens them slowly to not startle Raven who she finds with hands up in her hair and an unreadable look on her face. It's only when Raven looks up and notices her there that she says something.</p><p>"Going okay?"</p><p>"Yeah but I'm glad you're here. I hit a snag and I need a sounding board."</p><p>Clarke plops down in her chair. "Alright, lay it on me."</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>There is weightlessness that wasn't there before she ventured back downstairs. Raven seems to have enough of a first draft finished that they'll be able to assess later in the morning and bang out into a second. Their plan is to get at least a third draft as tight as possible before approaching Indra after principal on their current project is complete.</p><p>This means Clarke will be here for at least the next few weeks if not month, spending time close enough to Raven to continue working on this and ready to meet with Indra once she's wrapped on the movie they just finished.</p><p>The feeling she always gets with a new project that just falls into place is present and if that wasn't enough for Clarke to feel like she could float back to her bed, all she has to do is think about who she'll find there when she gets back.</p><p>Seeing Lexa curled up in the middle of the giant expanse of sheets and the mess they keep making of blankets sets her heart skipping almost out of her chest. She strips quietly by the bed before slipping back between the sheets to curl around Lexa and pull her close. Lexa makes the softest noise of contentment in her sleep that is maybe one of the best sounds Clarke has ever heard in her life.</p><p>If Clarke was a different person leading a different life, she'd second guess the ease she feels with Lexa. One cultivated in less than a week - that seems to expand and grow with each new day. Ease that seems to have fallen into place as if designed by the universe just waiting for her to stumble here, walk into this inn, and across the path of this person. This person, who even in sleep, moves closer to her and hums again and sends shivers up her spine, and finds a home at the very core of her being. This person who seems to have unlocked something deep in Clarke's soul that was aching to get out with just the first small lift of her lips.</p><p>She drops a kiss at the base of Lexa's neck, and another on her cheek before succumbing to the sleep that's been pulling at her for over an hour now with a smile on her face.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>The ringing of her phone pulls Lexa out of deep, deep sleep. Clarke's arm tightens around her waist and she curls further into Lexa, not awake but feeling the disturbance to their cocoon all the same. Lexa isn't sure when she slipped back into bed or how long she was gone, but the absolute burst of happiness she gets from the feeling is overwhelming.</p><p>With a quiet groan, she reaches over and pulls her phone off the bedside table. Echo's name flashes at the top.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>"Echo, what's wrong?" Lexa asks, feeling immediately awake. The wind howls outside with a fury that wasn't there just a few short hours ago.</p><p>"Lexa, good. We lost power about five minutes ago. The kitchen generator sounds like it's on and I'm pulling out the boxes of candles and flashlights, but I haven't reported to the power company yet."</p><p>It is a terrible call to be woken up by. Lexa spirals with all the things that can go wrong in the next few hours, in the next few days. If the kitchen generator craps out on them… "Shit. Okay, I'll be right there."</p><p>She hangs up and swings herself out of bed as quickly and quietly as possible.</p><p>"Mmmph 's wrong?" Clarke mumbles sleepily. Digging herself deeper into the covers and warmth.</p><p>"We lost power, I have to go deal with this." Lexa hops into her pants and struggles to button them in her early morning haze. The wind howls again. "Shit."</p><p>"Good thing you don't have to walk far in this," Clarke says. Her eyes are half open and she has an annoyingly smug smile on her face.</p><p>It's true, and Lexa is grateful for that very fact as the wind continues to scream, however, she does not want to give Clarke an inch right now. "You're not even fully awake and you're joking?"</p><p>"I'm just saying, sleeping with me has its perks."</p><p>It is actually infuriating how charming Lexa finds this woman. How Clarke's gentle teasing has somehow calmed her just a bit.</p><p>"It would be a definite perk if you could remember where you threw my sweater earlier…"</p><p>"I folded it on the counter in the bathroom when I came back in," she yawns and burrows into the warm spot Lexa vacated.</p><p>Lexa retreats, washes her face and pulls her hair up into something messy and tangled and workable right now. The same sweater she wore earlier goes back on and she knows Echo won't say a thing.</p><p>Adrenaline spikes through her. There's a flashlight in the drawer of the bed stand - they placed two in every room for instances just like this. She grabs it and kisses Clarke quickly for luck. For sanity. "If you need to leave the room before I come back or before it's light out, use the flashlight in the drawer, okay?"</p><p>Clarke nods and reaches up to kiss her again before she slips out the door and down the dark hallway.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>Echo's shoulders visibly deflate when Lexa rounds the corner by the front desk. "Alright, did you call Anya or Lincoln?"</p><p>"Lincoln is on his way to check the generator outside and the property, he should be here soon. Anya hasn't answered yet."</p><p>"Figures, okay, I'll go back and scope the kitchen. Can you handle reporting to the power company?"</p><p>"Yeah, for sure."</p><p>"Have any guests called down here?"</p><p>"No, I think most everyone is still asleep," Echo says matter of factly. Lexa looks at the clock behind her, it's just after 5 AM during a holiday week and sunrise won't happen for another couple of hours.</p><p>"Right, okay hopefully we can get some answers from the power company before they wake up. As long as the generator is up in the kitchen we should be okay for food, but we'll have to be careful. I'll try Anya again while I'm back there." Again, Echo looks relieved. Fair. Lexa doesn't want to be on the other end of Anya finding out the power is down the day before they have another holiday event, either. The fridges are stocked with food and prep - both more than usual and more expensive than usual.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>Anya shows up twenty minutes after Lexa has called her looking wild and ready to fight someone with Raven hot on her heels. The lights in the kitchen are on, though Lexa has chosen to leave most off to save the generator fuel. Just a few spotlight around the room.</p><p>"How's the generator?"</p><p>"Up and running and Linc says we've got plenty of fuel."</p><p>"Did you check the temps in the fridge and freezer?"</p><p>"I did, they're normal. Generator must have kicked right on."</p><p>"And we can power everything we need to in here?"</p><p>"I think so, but if there's something specific you're worried about you should assess for yourself."</p><p>Lexa had experienced a slight decrease upon gathering the findings she now shares with Anya, though Anya seems even more frazzled than she was when she came in.</p><p>"What did the power company say?"</p><p>"Left a report, expecting a call back any minute. Although the welcome message said the area was experiencing high winds and loss of power so… probably what did it."</p><p>"I can take a look out back if you want," Raven pipes in. Lexa does not hide her surprise when her eyes slide back over, no longer able to pretend to ignore her presence for Anya's sake. "I majored in electrical engineering in college, among other things," she offers in an off-the-cuff manner that Lexa would never if she had a degree in electrical engineering.</p><p>"Yeah, I thought she might be useful in case the generator goes out." Anya almost fumbles her words in a way that is so uncharacteristic of her that Lexa wishes she was able to enjoy this a little bit more, under entirely different circumstances.</p><p>As it is, all they can do is hope whatever is wrong is fixable and fixable fast. Or they'll have to work out refunds to their guests and eat some losses.</p><p>Fortunately for Anya but unfortunately for Lexa, the phone rings shifting everything back to the crisis at hand. Lexa answers on speaker and both she and Anya walk out to the front desk where Echo is organizing candles and checking flashlight batteries so they can all hear the information shared by the power company.</p><p>Lines down all over the area. Trucks have already been sent out, and the high wind is forecasted to die out by mid-afternoon. The inn should have power restored before the evening.</p><p>And, well. It's not great. But it's not terrible. They can make do as long as the generator holds.</p><p>"Alright, well I guess we should start building up our fires and getting these candles placed. Echo you're on candle duty, I'll start calling staff so they can be ready for what's awaiting them and get them prepped for guest questions. Anya, please go check with Lincoln outside and make sure we can get more firewood moved in here. We're gonna need it."</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>Though she already knows what's going on in the inn due to her intimate connections, the sight that greets Clarke when she comes down the stairs is truly something to behold. The inn has been taken over by candles and lanterns and roaring fires and combined with all the Christmas trees and decorations still up it has morphed into another magical entity.</p><p>The wind is still whipping around outside though it is not as loud as it was last night and the sun is shining enough that she didn't need the flashlight when she left her room. But this, this is spectacular in its own way. How Lexa is able to turn something monumental like losing power with an inn full of paying guests and a party scheduled for tomorrow, Clarke will never truly understand.</p><p>It thrills her.</p><p>Lexa perks up when she spies Clarke, and though she looks sleepy and stressed, Clarke's breath still catches the way it has since she first saw Lexa smile.</p><p>"You really know how to make a power outage look really pretty and enticing," she teases and watches Lexa smile more fully.</p><p>"Hopefully we'll be back up in the afternoon. The wind is already getting calmer and the power company said crews were out working," Lexa shrugs.</p><p>"Yeah but, as a paying customer, I'm telling you… this is gorgeous Lexa. And I know it's a bigger thing than just wanting candles everywhere for mood, but still."</p><p>Her face changes and she takes the compliment. "I'm glad you think so. Raven is on a coffee run and you <em>might</em> be able to catch her before she's back if you text now. Anya is trying to utilize as little power as possible during breakfast service today. She's worried about tomorrow even though we have plenty of fuel for the generator." Lexa does not hide her annoyance.</p><p>"Oh, no need. Rae knows my coffee order but also she texted me when I was upstairs." Clarke does not add on her surprise at Raven being back here and running around to help. They didn't break last night until almost 3 AM and she knows her friend hightailed it to Anya's, even in her exhausted state. Honestly, she wonders if Raven managed to get any sleep at all. "Hey, are you okay?"</p><p>There's a particular smile Lexa has. Like she is surprised to be seen, truly seen. It's bashful and honest. Clarke has been on the receiving end of it a couple of times. She wears it now, as Clarke slides closer to her and grabs her arm to pull her out from behind the desk. She grabs Lexa's hips and squeezes some reassurance.</p><p>"Yeah. I think I'm okay. We seem to have a handle on everything just waiting for power to kick back on."</p><p>"What do you need?"</p><p>"Coffee. Sleep," she smirks. "Power."</p><p>"How can I help?"</p><p>That soft smile again. Lexa tilts her head as if assessing the truth of her offer. Clarke tugs her closer and Lexa's tired eyes shine. "Can you keep an eye on the candles? Make sure they're not melting everywhere and replace the ones that are burning out?"</p><p>"I can. Hey, is this the right time to tease you about having <em>this</em> many candles ready and waiting to be utilized or?"</p><p>Lexa pouts. Magnificently. Clarke laughs and moves her arms up around Lexa's back to pull her in for a hug. She kisses those perfectly pouty lips once, and then twice for good measure. Tucking her face into Lexa's neck and breathing in deeply.</p><p>Their hug is interrupted by Raven storming back in with two drink trays of Dunkin in her hands, a big white plastic bag around her wrist, and a grimace on her face.</p><p>"I swear to god, Dunkin feels the need to unleash new horrors on us every year," she starts her rant paying no mind to what she's interrupting. Lexa, for her part, does not let go of Clarke though they both spin to face Raven in their embrace. "Like, <em>honestly</em>," she sets down the trays, "honestly, tell me what the fuck a sugarplum latte is? Hell, what even is a sugarplum? Is it a sugared <em>plum</em>? Because why the fuck would I want my latte to taste like a damn plum. Anyway, I ordered one so we can all try it." She has a wide wicked grin and cackles at herself.</p><p>"I think this might be in my top five favorite rants now," Clarke laughs. "Really have a lot of feelings about this beverage, huh, Rae?"</p><p>"Not even the beverage! The marketing department, R&amp;D, or whatever they call their recipe factory, just… so many decisions went into this. Why?" Raven starts spinning cups to find what she's looking for. "I'm almost expecting it to be purple and glittery."</p><p>"And yet, you bought one," Lexa pipes in, much to Clarke's delight. If she could bottle up the amused look Lexa shares with her and save it for the rest of her life, she would.</p><p>Raven studies her for a long stretch of seconds before spiraling into another round of cackles. "Well, fuck."</p><p>And when Lexa joins her in laughter, Clarke fully swoons.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>Sometime right before lunch, they get lucky and the power flickers back on. A few of the guests clap and cheer and Lexa feels like she can finally breathe again. Her muscles relax and her shoulders deflate and she takes a moment for herself in the bathroom to splash cold water on her face and take a few deep breaths.</p><p>Lincoln shuts down the generator and the candles get blown out but not yet put away per his request. Anya looks like she might actually break down into grateful tears, scaring both Lexa and the kitchen staff more than anyone thought possible.</p><p>Clarke who had been huddled deep in work with Raven and their somehow magical laptop battery life shares a happy smile with Lexa and brushes the hair off her face. "You should go rest," she whispers.</p><p>"I'm going to. Aden is coming in to take over and I'm gonna check everything in my house again." She had trekked out there with Lincoln in the dark of the morning to make sure everything was okay with the power out.</p><p>"Take a good nap and a long shower. Find me later?"</p><p>Warmth bursts inside her at Clarke's soft, caring tone. "Yes, ma'am."</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>Clarke isn't really sure how it's already New Year's Eve, though if she really thinks about it, it feels like Christmas was three months ago and not last week. So much has happened in such a short amount of time, stretching and playing with the days in between holidays in a way that feels so much stronger with this one.</p><p>She has been completely enveloped in her creative process - her mind floating around the story and the potential they can unravel onscreen for everyone in a way she hasn't felt invigorated by in a long time. Stepping in to produce and develop has been a wild ride that she wishes she had done sooner, though this partnership with Raven and this property feel <em>so right</em>. Raven had shared yesterday that Anya joked that they're adding that <em>artist in residence</em> mystique to the Trikru.</p><p>And then there's the Lexa of it all. The thrill of a new relationship, the hazy way those early days all blur together into a rush of smiles and touches and butterflies and orgasms is always heady. There are none of the nerves that seem to come, none of the weird unsteadiness she's experienced with new lovers before. There is just a welcoming calm.</p><p>She has woken up with a smile on her face feeling so well rested it should be illegal. Lexa is sprawled across her in the big giant bed, leg over hips, arm around waist, head on her chest. And it feels good. So good.</p><p>She smirks as Lexa stirs. There will be a lot of prep ahead, this may be the most they see each other until later on after the event so she is in no rush to rejoin the real world. </p><p>"I have the morning off tomorrow," she says sleepily.</p><p>Clarke cards her fingers through messy bushy waves, blooming at Lexa's contented hum. "Yeah? Does that mean no running out of here in a huff?"</p><p>"It does. It also means maybe we can go to my place tonight?" She tilts her head up with a hopeful smile.</p><p>"Mmm, yeah, I'd like that." She smiles back and Lexa pops up to kiss her sweetly. "It'll be nice to finally see the place." Even though they have enjoyed teasing and ribbing each other over spending their nights up here at the inn when Lexa lives on the property, Clarke knows the real reason they haven't left is that it just happens to be so much closer and more convenient when the tide starts turning and their kisses need privacy. A flight of stairs is an easier feat to climb in the heat of the moment than pulling on coats and boots and journeying outside through the snow and cold.</p><p>Plus, she <em>is</em> still paying for this room.</p><p>"I also have the second and third completely off as a nice little break. Most of our holiday guests will be checking out on the second and we kind of have a slow month until Valentine's."</p><p>"Two whole days off? Whatever will you do with yourself?"</p><p>Lexa laughs against her and it is glorious. "Hmm, not sure? You got any ideas?" Her sleepy morning smile is so radiant. "Maybe if this weather lets up we can actually leave this property for a proper date."</p><p>Clarke fake gasps and puts on an accent, "You mean we haven't been properly dating yet? But you've already taken my virtue, what am I to do now?"</p><p>Lexa slides up with another of her rakish smiles. Her hair falls down around them in a mess and her eyes are dark. "Oh no, Clarke. I plan on wine-ing and dining you, escorting you out for my favorite meal outside of this restaurant here, dressing up and making you regret that we ever left this bed." She nips Clarke's lip with a growl at the back of her throat sending a thrill straight to Clarke's core.</p><p>Neither of them leaves the bed until they're both supremely satisfied.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>After a long, long day of prep for another event, Lexa finds herself aching for her time off. She retreats back to her house to get ready, and though this event is less formal than Christmas, it is not by a lot.</p><p>She has some tight black pants ready to go, and a tank top with some sparkle and sequins that she hopes surprises Clarke.</p><p>Her body buzzes anytime she thinks about Clarke. Butterflies and pure kinetic energy flaring under her skin, in her muscles.</p><p>Two whole days off to just… be. No work. No obligations. Just. Time to spend however she wants.</p><p>Lincoln had laughed at her during their set up. "You should get laid more often, it suits you."</p><p>She smacked his thick chest and told him to fuck off. "Like you weren't a smiling buffoon when Octavia showed up."</p><p>"Oh, I definitely was. Still am. That's the beauty of falling in love." She can't argue there. Doesn't want to. "Although to be fair, I don't think I was ever the super grumpy one around here."</p><p>She levels a look at him. "Are you implying that was me? Because I think we know that it's Anya."</p><p>He nods, "Yeah, but she's a whole other level of scary so…"</p><p>They laugh as Lincoln rearranges the myriad of candles scattered around the inn into something more palatable for the evening. Lexa knows it will look mystical, the lights flickering and glittering on every surface. Mirroring the feeling she has inside.</p><p>"I don't know how the universe gifted us no wind tonight after that shit show yesterday, but I'm sure as fucking glad we can still have the fireworks."</p><p>He smiles his big bright beautiful smile, "You got the extra package they suggested after last year, right?"</p><p>"Oh yeah. It's gonna be epic."</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>Lexa hears herself let out an audible gasp as Clarke descends the stairs. She's wearing a simple blue wrap dress and a pair of strappy heels and looks as if she's descending from a cloud. Lexa's hands itch to touch and Clarke's eyes brighten up and a teasing smirk sits on her lips as she notices Lexa's reaction. Clarke is bold and brash in a confident easy going way that Lexa finds impossibly sexy, wholly entranced by her.</p><p>"Hi again," she offers quietly as soon as she's off the last step. "You look…" she takes in Lexa's outfit, touches straightened glossy hair that hangs down around her shoulders. "Wow."</p><p>Lexa huffs out a laugh, "Same to you." She closes the gap and brings them together in a soft press of lips, careful not to disrupt Clarke's lipstick. Clarke's thumb brushes her lip lightly, and Lexa kisses that, too.</p><p>The candles reflect in Clarke's already sparkling eyes and, they're so fucking blue Lexa could get lost in them forever. Plans on it. Her hair is pulled up in some kind of relaxed twist, though several tendrils fall down around her face.</p><p>She looks every inch a movie star.</p><p>"You were able to sneak away?" her voice is lilting on a tease, pulling Lexa out of her staring.</p><p>She clears her throat, caught but not embarrassed by it. "Uh, yeah. I had to pick up my date." With that, she offers her arm out for Clarke to take and tries on her most charming smile.</p><p>"Your date, huh?" The charm must be working because Clarke inches closer and tugs on her open blazer with a playful grin.</p><p>"Yeah, maybe you've heard of her. She's an actress, been in a bunch of movies. Clarke Griffin ring any bells?"</p><p>"Can't say she does, but if you're lucky maybe I'll ring your bells later." She lowers her voice into that husk that weakens Lexa's knees. The wiles and weapons this woman has at her disposal are plentiful and unfair.</p><p>"Well then. Let's get this evening started, shall we?"</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>There is free flowing champagne and champagne cocktails to match. Every pass of the room by the waiters brings a new and even more delicious surprise from fresh oysters, blinis, french onion soup shooters, lobster salad on fresh baked crostini, the world's tiniest cheese tortellini served in a shot glass with a splash of a divine lemon wine sauce, deconstructed veggie spring rolls, the crispiest and silkiest fried tofu, small arancini bites and even more food that Clarke doesn't have the room to try.</p><p>Lexa can relax more during this event, less is riding on a schedule and it's more of a big mingle of guests around the room. Clarke can steal her attention away more often than she could last week and Raven has no qualms about her running commentary regarding Anya's dishes. Lincoln and Octavia even find them for a while to hang out and it is the best New Year's Eve party Clarke has ever been to.</p><p>She did not share with Lexa that she traditionally prefers to spend the evening on her couch in sweats with Chinese food and wine. She chooses instead to watch her again in her element, enjoying the show much more than she did when she still wasn't sure if they'd ever be more to each other than acquaintances.</p><p>They venture outside as it gets close to midnight. The fire is roaring and the heat lamps are on and the igloos staff set up for Christmas miraculously survived the windstorm. Clarke huddles close to Lexa, sharing a blanket over their shoulders as champagne and sparklers are passed around - that stretch of excited tension fills the air and the stars shine from a cloudless sky. Anya and the kitchen staff join them and Raven slinks into the shadows near where they've gathered. Clarke smiles at her, even if she looks caught.</p><p>Lexa's free hand wraps around her waist, and her cold nose bumps against Clarke's cheek. She leaves a trail of sweet kisses, brushing her lips against Clarke's ear that has her shivering from something other than the cold. "I've never been happier for a horrible snowstorm."</p><p>Clarke's whole body blushes and she cuddles even closer to Lexa. Lexa has an understated swagger that draws Clarke in no matter what she's doing. Understated in that she doesn't need to flaunt it, it's perfectly natural. And it's on full display now.</p><p>"Same." She drops the blanket briefly to accept a lit sparkler as someone starts to countdown to midnight. That buzzing is back, flooding her body as she stares into Lexa's eyes, not able to look away for anything. The joy she finds mirrored there blossoms inside of her.</p><p><em>Five</em>.</p><p><em>Four</em>.</p><p><em>Three</em>.</p><p><em>Two</em>.</p><p><em>One</em>.</p><p>
  <em>Happy New Year!</em>
</p><p>And then Lexa is kissing her. A kiss that speaks a thousand words, a hunger that is deep and aching, full of passion and life. A yearning that stretches between them and fills in all the empty spaces inside. A kiss like no other. That reaches out and weaves them together for whatever comes next.</p><p>A kiss that she will spend the rest of her life remembering.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>"Happy New Year, Clarke," Lexa whispers against her lips. Her eyes hooded and dark and still focused on Clarke's mouth, completely blissed out. The sparklers held out in their hands next to them, lighting this moment like their own personal spotlight.</p><p>The way that Lexa says her name like it is the most precious thing she'll ever utter, thrills Clarke every time. There's something about the soft way the letters fall from her tongue, the tenderness that lives behind that one word, that is entirely too much and not enough. Clarke would listen to Lexa say nothing else for the rest of her life. Has been completely and utterly swept off her feet.</p><p>"Happy New Year, Lexa," she smiles. Pressing their lips together again as the sparklers die out.</p><p>They're pulled apart by the unmistakable sounds of fireworks lighting the night sky. Lexa grins.</p><p>"You held out on me," Clarke exclaims with surprise.</p><p>"I wasn't sure if they'd be able to do it with all the wind we had yesterday. Luckily, it stopped." She looks so pleased, Clarke kisses her again. Lexa deposits the spent sparklers into the fire and picks the blanket back up so they can share it between them as they tip their heads up to watch the show dance across the first few minutes of a fresh year and enjoy the expensive champagne.</p><p>It definitely beats the sweats and the couch, hands down.</p><p>And the champagne kisses she shares with Lexa are the icing on the cake.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>It is perfect to wake up like this. Perfect any morning of any day, but especially this day. The first day of a new year. To wake up in her own bed, her own home, with Clarke here. In her space. In her life. Puttering around her kitchen making them breakfast from the modest items Lexa keeps in her fridge and cupboards. Puttering around the house in one of Lexa's baggy flannel shirts pilfered off the corner of the closet door and nothing else despite the cold weather. Puttering around with a lazy smile on her face and a quiet humming and extra kisses for Lexa any time she walks by.</p><p>There is a fire crackling in the fireplace, fresh coffee in the french press before her just waiting to be poured, and quiet music playing in the background.</p><p>It is better than Lexa could have ever imagined.</p><p>Clarke is deeper and richer and more wonderful than anyone would know and Lexa counts herself so lucky and grateful to have the honor of knowing her. Of making her laugh and making her swoon.</p><p>Of falling in love with her.</p><p>"I can't make omelets as fancy as Anya's, just warning you," Clarke says, not even looking up at Lexa but focusing completely on the pan in front of her on the stove and the spatula in her hand. "Like, seriously, I need to ask her how she did that - they were nearly crepes! That rolled omelet was the best fucking omelet I've ever had, and the smoked chipotle just. Fuck."</p><p>Lexa just smiles, smitten completely. "I don't know if she'll ever reveal her secrets, but she does seem to like you so… maybe?"</p><p>Clarke turns now, surprise on her face. "Anya likes me?"</p><p>"I mean, I wouldn't go asking her about it but yeah I think you're good in her books."</p><p>"Wow. Why do I feel like this is a momentous occasion?"</p><p>"Because it is," Lexa laughs. "Trust me."</p><p>"Oh, I do, babe."</p><p>Clarke catches her smiling as she walks over to the kitchen island where Lexa is seated on a barstool with two plates loaded with eggs and potatoes for both of them. She blushes, and her eyes dip down shyly for a second before they meet Lexa's again. "What?"</p><p>Lexa smiles even wider, this moment feeling too big to fit inside her body and under her skin. "Nothing," she shrugs. She's not exactly sure how this became her life. How in the blink of an eye one of her wildest dreams came true, and then some. That she'd not only meet Clarke but that they would start to fall for each other in such beautiful fashion.</p><p>That Clarke would be here, in her house, wandering around and looking at all the things that make up Lexa. The personal items, the decorations, the pictures, the books. The life she's led up until and including this very moment.</p><p>Not even that it's Clarke Griffin but more so that it's a wonderful woman with whom she felt an immediate connection and spark that has grown into something precious and wonderful in such a short amount of time.</p><p>Clarke sets the plates down and hops on her stool, spinning so her knees touch Lexa's thigh. "Hmm… no, there's something else."</p><p>She shakes her head, beaming. "I just like you here."</p><p>A slow grin spreads on Clarke's face. Her lips tilt up in a way that could light a hundred marquees. Lexa cannot believe she gets to be on the receiving end of it. "Yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah. I like you here… in my space, in my shirt…" she flips the collar playfully.</p><p>"It has nothing to do with the fact that I just made you a delicious breakfast does it?" Clarke rolls her eyes in jest.</p><p>Lexa laughs, "A little, yeah. But, to be fair, I haven't tried it yet so I don't know if it's actually delicious or not." Clarke swats her arm with a scoff and Lexa laughs again, catching her hand before she can pull it all the way back. She brings Clarke's palm up to her face, kisses it gently, and places it on her cheek. "It is a nice way to start a morning. To start a year."</p><p>"I'd have to agree," Clarke responds, pressing her lips against Lexa's in a brief but utterly enchanting kiss to seal the moment. "What would you say to me… sticking around here for a bit. Would that be cool?"</p><p>Lexa can tell that her smile has turned goofy with her overflowing bliss. She does not care at all. "Yeah, that would be cool."</p><p>"Cool."</p><p>She doesn't know what will happen weeks or months from now, or when Clarke has to start working in earnest again - long days and nights on set, on location. But for now, for now, it is a beginning.</p><p>A solid one at that.</p><p>When Clarke meets her lips again, leaning in over their legs and into Lexa's space, it is with a kiss that already feels like home.</p><p>What a holiday indeed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there y'all.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>woops... my hands slipped.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The kitchen is calm which would be odd for this time of evening if they weren't in their midwinter lull. With business slowing almost to a complete stop they've scaled back their kitchen offerings as they always do in these cold winter months, and closed up a few rooms to help with cleaning efforts. The general sense of winter malaise that seeps everywhere seems unavoidable.</p><p>Nonetheless, Anya is focused on her cooking as Lexa sweeps through on her way out to her cabin - off earlier than usual thanks to being the boss. She has a busy night planned.</p><p>"Are we on for later?" Anya calls out from the stove where she's stirring.</p><p>"Uh, yeah if you want?"</p><p>"Don't we usually watch this shit together? Isn't this something you've made me do for the decade plus that I've known you?"</p><p>Lexa blushes and laughs. "Yeah," she answers suddenly itchy. Suddenly wondering if she wants an audience this year now that things have changed.</p><p>"Okay well once I finish up here I'll pop back with food?" She also seems to be testing this new world they're in.</p><p>Lexa offers a warm smile, "I've stocked the fridge with that beer you like. And I grabbed a few bottles of that wine we had last week, too. So, I'll be ready."</p><p>"Okay weirdo, see you in a bit then."</p><p>A relieved sigh escapes her mouth as she slides out the back door huddled in her coat for the quick walk back home. They've had a mild stretch of weather with no snow in sight since after the New Year and it feels odd for the end of January. The wind remains as bitter and biting as always reminding them all that winter has not released her grasp. Not yet. She's not sure why she feels so unsteady. Anya is right - this is their tradition. They park themselves in front of Lexa's nice tv on her cozy couch with a fire and snacks and alcohol and watch the awards shows and debate the dresses and the movies and pretend they're above ogling their favorite actors dressed to the nines.</p><p>Trying to pretend like they don't love these nights. Secret guilty pleasures. Everyone's got them. Even Anya.</p><p>Except this year, this year is very different indeed. This year she happens to know intimately just what resides under her favorite actress' dress. The way she looks when she's happy and relaxed, the scent of the skin at the base of her neck, the sounds she makes when she's close.</p><p>It's all overwhelming whenever Lexa so much as thinks about it. Being slapped with this new reality and Clarke's face on her television at the same time… well. Lexa isn't quite sure how she's going to handle it. And she's not sure if she needs her best friend there to watch her absolute gay meltdown.</p><p>Clarke flew back for the long weekend to attend the SAG Awards as a presenter. Texting and calling Lexa quickly in between fittings and rehearsal. Not that she's been at the inn <em>as</em> much since the holidays ended - spending time back on set to work with Raven, to meet with Indra, to get their project up and running. They've settled into a routine between real life and the building of this new amazing thing.</p><p>It's delicate.</p><p>Was much too soon for Lexa to even think about what it would be like to actually attend an event like this with Clarke. Though that hasn't necessarily stopped her thoughts from running wild. Faced with the reality of it, she knows it wouldn't be ideal.</p><p>Not yet.</p><p>Clarke didn't ask, either. They seemed to both be on the same page of letting this beautiful thing between them take its time to shape and take root. She had kissed Lexa slowly and deeply before she left and it felt like a promise.</p><p>Lexa's body is coursing with weird adrenaline and excited nerves. She jumps a mile high when her phone, normally on silent, dings with the already too familiar text tone on the coffee table in front of her.</p><p>
  <em>Betty Haynes: getting ready to leave the hotel soon… should be on the carpet in like 20 mins hopefully</em>
</p><p>Lexa smiles. Despite her best efforts, Clarke has not shown off her dress or her hair. <em>It'll be fun to surprise you</em> she had said when Lexa had inquired.</p><p>
  <em>I've got the coverage on</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Can't wait</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Can I at least know what color?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Betty Haynes: absolutely not you get to be surprised like all the rest</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, so there are no perks then?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Betty Haynes: guess not</em>
</p><p>She finishes it off with a winking emoji and the purple smiling devil and Lexa huffs out a laugh. And fine. She's not going to admit she actually likes this game.</p><p>The game they're playing now deflates the tension of it all just a little bit. Lexa picked up on some of the nervousness Clarke had about it, too. In an offhand comment made the night before as they talked before Lexa went to bed she mentioned something about popping the bubble.</p><p>And even if Lexa is not there with her in person it is still definitely popping the bubble a bit.</p><p>Clarke is back in her real fake life. The one where she presents an image to the world, the one where she is untouchable, even if she's more relatable and down to earth than most in her profession. Even if that Clarke that Lexa had seen so often on television is very much a shade of the Real Clarke. It is still different.</p><p>It is still a different life.</p><p>And she seemed nervous about having this event to handle so soon in their new adventure. Tentative. Like a deer learning how to stand up on shaky legs.</p><p>But, Lexa isn't going anywhere. Not without Clarke.</p><p>Even if it is going to be a surreal night watching her onscreen. It'll be like nothing has changed, even though everything has.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>Anya doesn't bother knocking on the door - choosing instead to enter as if she belongs here. And, really, she does. She comes bearing two boxes of pizza and a fresh carton of ice cream on top.</p><p>"You know, I can't get over how weird it is that we haven't had snow since that storm and yet, it's still freezing my tits off out here." She sets the pizza down and pulls her coat and scarf off, hanging them on the hook by the door. It's always nice having Anya back in this space - the one they shared when they were just getting up and running. In many ways it still feels like part of it belongs to her even though she moved out into her own house in town. "Your girl been on yet?"</p><p>"Nope. She's leaving the hotel soon though."</p><p>"Good, I didn't miss anything." Anya actually looks excited and Lexa's nerves spike up. "When is she due back?"</p><p>"She's flying back here Tuesday," Lexa answers, grabbing two paper plates off the counter and napkins. "Did you decide on beer or should we open the wine?"</p><p>"Wine. It'll pair better with this bomb ass pizza I made."</p><p>She opens a drawer for the corkscrew and pulls a bottle of pinot noir off the counter. "Grab a couple glasses?"</p><p>They settle into their easy routine of eating and watching and chatting about who is wearing what and it almost feels normal and nice, with the exception of the few comments Anya makes about not believing how they're in this position at all.</p><p>She does not admit how odd it feels to be on the couch with pizza and wine again so soon with someone who is <em>not</em> Clarke. How already it feels odd that Clarke isn't here with her, in her space. How used to her presence Lexa already feels.</p><p>And then Lexa's phone chimes again and Clarke's name flashes on her screen and Lexa knows.</p><p>Her stomach flips and she puts her pizza down to settle back on the couch and give the screen her full attention.</p><p>Everything in the room slows to a stop as soon as Clarke emerges from her car. All the breath in Lexa's body is gone immediately and her ears tune out every sound in the room. She is thrust underwater almost. Her body tingles and buzzes all over and she cannot blink or breathe or move.</p><p>Entirely captivated.</p><p>Clarke is the epitome of Hollywood glamor, in an off the shoulder gown that is such a deep, deep, midnight blue it is almost black. Her hair has been curled into wonderfully relaxed waves - longer than usual with extensions she had complained in a text about - and swept back over one shoulder with studded pins that glimmer in her fresh highlights. She looks down and adjusts her dress before heading down the carpet and Lexa sees the slit. Long and high and offering so much leg she wants to die.</p><p>She hears Anya gasp beside her.</p><p>The cut of the dress sits perfectly on her chest, offering the world a hint of the glory that rests below. Just a hint. Just enough to look good and keep them wanting.</p><p>She looks every inch the star she is.</p><p>The time digs in and wills Lexa to remember this for the rest of her life. Wills her to take in every instant, every flicker of the screen, every movement Clarke makes.</p><p>It is wonderful torture.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>It feels like amazing luck when Clarke is pulled up on one of the TV platforms for a quick interview. Lexa has not seen enough of her - could probably never see enough of her - on the carpet between the cutting back and forth of new arrivals and interviews.</p><p>But then Clarke is climbing up the few stairs to the platform and greeting Monty the host with that megawatt smile she has and all seems right with the world. Anya, bless her, turns up the volume on the tv as Monty starts his interview. Clarke's husky laugh fills the living room.</p><p>"Clarke! Clarke so good to see you! You're presenting tonight?"</p><p>"Yes, I'm here and all dressed up instead of home on the couch with some wine and some pizza," she laughs and Lexa <em>knows</em> that was for her. "I'm excited though, I love the SAG awards."</p><p>"Who'd you bring here with you tonight? Who's that watching down there?" The host points his arm down at what Lexa thinks is Clarke's mom but can't be sure from this angle.</p><p>Clarke spins around with a wide smile and gestures for someone to pop up on the platform with her. "I brought my mom with me tonight, doesn't she look great?"</p><p>"<em>Holy shit</em>, that's her <em>mom</em>?" Anya interjects. "Fucking hell, dude, you hit the lottery or what?"</p><p>"I know, right?" Lexa agrees, not taking her eyes off the screen. Missing Clarke's presence more than she thought she would.</p><p>"You both look amazing!"</p><p>"Yes, it was the least I could do after missing the holidays with her - I was stranded in Massachusetts because of that huge nor'easter that blew in right before Christmas."</p><p>"Sounds like it was awful!"</p><p>"You know, it could have been worse," she says, and looks directly into the camera. Directly at Lexa, whose whole body heats up with a burst of pride and ecstasy that buzzes through her. "I had an unexpectedly wonderful holiday." She seems to shine as she says it.</p><p>"What were you doing in Massachusetts?"</p><p>"Well, I'm glad you asked, Monty. I was finishing up my latest project with Indra."</p><p>"Oh, that's right. Can't wait for that one - can you tell us anything?"</p><p>She laughs a charming, fake laugh. "Absolutely not."</p><p>"Alright, alright," He joins her in fake laughter. "And what about this news we heard a couple weeks ago, your production house got the rights to <em>13th Station</em>."</p><p>The smile that Clarke has on her face is real and beaming. Lexa knows that smile. "We did, I'm so excited. My producing partner, the brilliant screenwriter Raven Reyes, and I are working on our draft right now… it's the perfect first property to bring in under our house and I can't wait to get further down the line and start filming."</p><p>"You're set to star in it as well, correct?"</p><p>"Yes! As the Commander of Death. Gonna be a challenge but I can't wait."</p><p>"I have to say, that book was a favorite of mine last year so I'm looking forward to seeing what you guys do with it."</p><p>"Me too, thank you!"</p><p>"Mom - how proud are you of your daughter here tonight?"</p><p>"I'm always proud of my Clarke." Her mother's smile is wide and genuine and Lexa feels the true love there. It makes her ache, just a little.</p><p>"Alright - we have to head to a quick commercial but it's always a pleasure chatting with you, Clarke, and I can't wait to see these new projects come up for you." He turns back to the camera with a smile and brings the program to break before assisting Clarke down the stairs of the platform. The screen pulls away from shots of the red carpet to a commercial for toilet paper. Lexa can feel Anya's thoughts even though she hasn't made another sound.</p><p>"Don't even start," she offers, staring straight ahead and trying to take a deep breath.</p><p>Anya just spirals into laughter beside her.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>It's only after Clarke has debuted her look on the carpet, and more importantly to Lexa, that she posts the pictures her team took before she left the hotel to Instagram. She and her mother have made it inside the ballroom and they're seated sort of near the front, as close as you can get to the action without actually being nominated. She's at a table with a mishmash of actors who are also here to present - including the writer/actor of her current favorite binge and she's trying so hard not to completely fangirl.</p><p>She shoots off a few quick texts to Lexa while she can before she's overwhelmed with the hobnobbing that comes with an event like this and entertaining her mother.</p><p>If she's being honest with herself, even though it was way too soon to even think about bringing Lexa, she finds she cannot help the daydreams that have descended upon her over the last few days. What it would be like to get ready together, to ride over in the car both a bundle of nerves. If Lexa's cool facade would chip away at the prospect of all of this. If anything, she's longing to see how Lexa would react to seeing her all glammed up like <em>this</em>. Because looking nice for a last minute event in a hotel during a snowstorm is one thing. But being prepped by a specialized team is a whole other ballpark. She's sad she will not get to witness the way Lexa's eyes go wide and that little look she gets on her face in person.</p><p>A producer comes over and mics her up for the famous "I am an Actor" speech that starts the show. Once Clarke accepted the invitation to present she was very quickly asked to do one of the intros. It's causing her more nerves than she'd like to admit though she's not sure why. She ran over ideas with her mother in the car but nothing felt right. She's gonna wing it. She has never had trouble winging it before, but this is live tv.</p><p>Her phone buzzes on her lap and she smiles as she looks down. Lexa seems to have recovered her full vocabulary. She blushes reading the compliment that awaits her. Happy to be dating someone who is not of the business in any way. Who does not live in this world. Who is not interested in showing her off on her arm just because she <em>can</em>. Who is nothing but purely genuine and has been from the beginning. She's done that before and she vowed to never do so again. Because it's not about Lexa or how people perceive <em>her</em>. It is only about the two of <em>them</em>, together.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>"Listen," Clarke says in all seriousness. Pausing for full effect like the damn fine actress she is. "I'm gonna say something that's outrageous and I just want you to know that I think it's outrageous and more importantly that I <em>know</em> it is. But. Whatever. I'm just gonna do it."</p><p>Lexa laughs lightly over the line and maybe it's easier because they're not on FaceTime tonight. Maybe it's easier because Clarke is tired even though it's barely past 7 in the evening for her. Maybe it's because January felt longer than usual and the beginning of February now has been unseasonably cold. Maybe it's just because being here all alone for weeks is doing something to her head.</p><p>"Are you gonna leave me hanging here?" Lexa asks gently and Clarke can hear the smile that's on her lips. Honestly wishes more than anything she could just lean into Lexa's space and kiss it. She really is starting to regret accepting the invitation to present at this year's Oscars ceremony at the end of the month.</p><p>"I'm a little bummed out I'm not gonna be with you on Valentine's day," she spits it out so fast she regrets it as soon as it's out of her mouth. Lexa's little light laugh crops up again and Clarke will never really get sick of it. "And, I <em>know</em> Valentine's is a crock of shit - don't even try to tease me that you like it, because I have actually met you. But I'm just kind of… annoyed that I'm out here for another few weeks I guess."</p><p>Lexa is quiet for maybe, almost, barely, a beat too long. "Are you saying you miss me?"</p><p>"You <em>know</em> that I do."</p><p>"I mean, yeah I know that. But it's always nice when you say it," she fully teases, as if Clarke hasn't said it more than she ever thought she would during these nightly calls. The ones they have when Lexa is tucked up in bed and sleepy and Clarke still has hours to go on the west coast before she follows.</p><p>"I miss you, too. I didn't think 6 weeks would feel this…"</p><p>"Yeah," Clarke cuts her off before she can finish. A storm blew in and canceled her flight out after the SAG awards. And then meetings cropped up in LA with Niylah Kerr, the author of <em>13th Station</em>, to talk about edits and drafts, and Indra is back in town and interested in talking out a few scenes which, Clarke knows from experience, means she's likely to say yes to signing on. And now there is just too much to do before the Oscars to sneak back east for a visit. She's sitting here in an oversized sweater she pilfered from Lexa's house that still smells like her and trying to ignore the ache in her chest. "It's not like I even like Valentine's Day. I just miss you and people are gonna flood Instagram with cute couple shit and you're in bumfuck Massachusetts."</p><p>"Can we switch to FaceTime? I think I'd like to see that massive pout you've got going on."</p><p>"Lexa," Clarke whines.</p><p>She laughs again, big and brash and Clarke wants to be tucked up in bed with her. Watching her laugh, watching her face light up and her smile get so wide. It is doing absolutely nothing for her current mood. And she knows the pout on her face gets deeper. She is so angry at her schedule, at missing out on time with Lexa when it's her slow season when she has more chances to sneak away and to not be wholly consumed with her business, at the weather… <em>again</em> but for a whole new reason. At so many things she truly has no control over.</p><p>She's not sure how she got here. To a potential separation of six weeks feeling like a year. She's made entire movies and done press junkets internationally without seeing previous significant others for longer stretches of time. To now pout so hard about six weeks feels...</p><p>"I know what you mean. I have never ever enjoyed it or thought of it even as an actual holiday but I do <em>definitely</em> enjoy what we can get away with charging for special packages here at Trikru. Honestly, the amount we pull in on Valentine's gets us through the darkest months of winter. But this year feels… different."</p><p>They're both dancing around it.</p><p>Clarke knows it. Lexa knows it.</p><p>The words that feel too big to say yet even though they are very much present.</p><p>Even though they're both grown ass women who shouldn't be afraid of saying such things. Or worrying about timetables. Especially not after how they got together in the first place.</p><p>"Wow, so now you admit to price gouging?"</p><p>"Oh, don't worry Miss Haynes, you got the friends and family discount."</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>The kitchen is quiet again but Lexa can see the various bowls and kitchen tools out on the long island which signals Anya is using this time to build and test a new recipe. She is so focused on the task she does not offer even a hint of snark about Lexa making herself a latte at the espresso machine.</p><p>"I think I'm gonna go out there."</p><p>Anya doesn't really look up. She tucks the short pencil she was scrawling something out with behind her ear and turns away from the counter to search her giant pantry for some mixture of ingredients she'll weave together to create something delicious. "Where? LA?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"It's been a while since you've gone anywhere so you know I support this. When?" Her voice carries out from the pantry and it's almost easier with her not actually looking at Lexa. This is precisely why she chose this moment in which she had about 20% of Anya's attention.</p><p>"Next weekend."</p><p>"Next weekend? Really?" Anya emerges from the pantry with her arms full, skepticism all over her face, and well, there goes that.</p><p>"Yeah," she answers. And wow does she ever hate her inability not to blush whenever she admits something that feels bigger than it is to Anya.</p><p>"Lex."</p><p>"Listen. I know. But honestly, Echo and Aden will have it covered."</p><p>"Of course Echo and Aden will have it covered. I'm not worried about that. And I know you wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our business."</p><p>"Well, then what? Out with it?" She squares up. Ready.</p><p>"I cannot believe you're making a grand gesture for this holiday." Her sardonic tone cannot and will not be missed.</p><p>"It's not <em>for</em> valentines. It just so happens to fall on the same weekend."</p><p>Anya rolls her eyes so hard that if Lexa wasn't used to it she'd honestly be worried. She crosses her arms and stares Lexa down until she's had her fill.</p><p>She can take it, considering her next ask. "Would you mind giving me Raven's number so I can work out the logistics? I'd like to make this a surprise if I can."</p><p>"Why would I have Raven's number?" Anya doesn't even flinch.</p><p>It's her turn to roll her eyes and she opens her mouth to push back "An-"</p><p>Anya disappears into the walk-in cooler. Lexa would follow but there was a line drawn a long time ago and she will not cross it. The walk-in is Anya's sacred place. Where she goes when she needs a minute. When she needs to both literally and figuratively cool off. Where she can just be.</p><p>It effectively cuts off the remainder of this conversation and Lexa takes it for what it is. If Anya is in there, she's no longer poking at Lexa about her decision.</p><p>And that feels like a small win. As for the rest, well, she'll figure it out.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>She's getting ready for her nightly call with Clarke when a text from an unknown number flashes on her screen.</p><p>
  <em>didnt peg you as a vday freak</em>
</p><p>
  <em>surprises abound</em>
</p><p>
  <em>how can i be of service?</em>
</p><p>There is a stir of annoyance mixed in with the relief when she realizes who is texting her.</p><p>
  <em>I'd like to surprise Clarke next weekend. Do you think you can help me organize a flight and keep her schedule clear-ish?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>The air is cool but the sun is bright when Lexa walks out of the terminal to the curb at Burbank Airport. Raven should be swinging up any minute now and Lexa feels itchy and ready to get to Clarke's house.</p><p>The excitement and the nerves building up over a five hour flight have grown almost untenable inside her body. There is, she hates to admit it, a tiny speck of doubt there, too. Maybe, perhaps, a hint of fear.</p><p>What if all of this proves too much too soon? Pops the bubble they've both been living in? It was never casual between them to begin with, it was always something <em>more</em> than casual. But this, flying out for Valentine's Day, <em>as a surprise</em>, definitely moves it into much more than causal officially. And maybe they aren't there yet.</p><p>Before she can fully spiral out Raven is pulling up to the crowded curb in front of her, sliding sunglasses down her face and rolling the passenger window of her suv down. "Get in loser, we're going shopping."</p><p>Lexa rolls her eyes and tosses her small carry-on and backpack in the back seat.</p><p>"You're a screenwriter, you couldn't come up with something more fun?"</p><p>"Why fight the classics? Anyway, it's still early for me, give it time. Traffic wasn't horrendous getting out here so we might just get lucky…" Raven sends her an oddly soft smile before pulling away from the curb.</p><p>"I really appreciate you doing this. I could have rented a car or whatever."</p><p>"Nah, this is more plausible. I'm supposed to spend a good chunk of the day working with Clarke anyway so when she sees my car in her driveway she won't freak out right away. Little does she know I don't plan on sticking around." Raven huffs out a small laugh and Lexa has never seen her like this. Experienced her without all the <em>extra</em>. Raven is calm and quiet and thoughtful.</p><p>She understands a little bit more of the appeal Anya has been drawn to.</p><p>"Honestly, I can't really believe you left the inn on a major weekend like this. Isn't Valentine's Day like your event of the season?"</p><p>Lexa laughs and pulls her sunglasses out of her jacket pocket to slip on as they head to the stretch of highway that will take them closer to Clarke.</p><p>"I've been told I work too much."</p><p>"Working too much and taking off during the most booked you'll be for weeks are two different things."</p><p>"Some things are more important," she says with an easy shrug, feeling the truth of it deep in her bones.</p><p>"You know, I already liked you. You didn't have to go in that hard." And there, that little bit of sass feels like it sets Lexa's nerves at ease.</p><p>"Calling it like I see it."</p><p>Raven laughs and Lexa knows she's on the right track.</p><p>"I need to warn you - we do have a couple meetings for work that we <em>cannot</em> get out of. Clarke is going to try to say they're not important, but I need you to hear me when I say that we cannot get out of these. And they are <em>very</em> important. Not as important as you being here, mind you, like I get that, but scheduling shit is a mess during awards season and Clarke is kind of a grump sometimes. She will fight you. Don't let her."</p><p>It's not a threat, it's a genuine statement of fact. Lexa is here to spend time with Clarke, but there are some things Clarke will have to attend to. Just like it was and is when Clarke is at the inn.</p><p>They both know that.</p><p>"Raven, I fully respect that and I will not get in the way. Also, I can be pretty persuasive where Clarke is concerned."</p><p>"Okay, ew. I do not need to know details but, thank you for watching her back on this. We've gotta get our production house off the ground the right way and this project is huge for us. It's only like three maybe four small things I couldn't reschedule."</p><p>"That's totally fine, I will make sure she doesn't wriggle out of them."</p><p>"Good. My second question for you is <em>dude</em> how are you this calm right now?"</p><p>Lexa laughs. "Oh god, I'm really not." Her stomach is fluttering and her hands and back are sweaty and she's hoping the excitement will outweigh the nerves at some point but it seems to be going the other way the farther away from the airport they get.</p><p>"Alright, not a superhuman then. Good. Even better."</p><p>"She's gonna like this, right?" Her voice sounds small and uneven and so unlike her. She hates it. Hates being vulnerable in front of people she really does not know. But, Raven seems here to stay in her life for the foreseeable future no matter what, so.</p><p>"She's gonna love it."</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>Raven is later than normal. She was supposed to be at Clarke's over half an hour ago with coffee and the scones they both love from the cafe a few blocks away, fuel to dig in on the notes they got after their last meeting with Niylah.</p><p>Except Raven is late.</p><p>And Clarke is hungry. And grumpy. And honestly worried about the version of Raven who will walk in the door late who is generally hangrier and grumpier than she could ever be. So when the doorbell rings, which Raven will do when her hands are full instead of using the key Clarke so graciously bestowed upon her, Clarke stomps to the door ready to huff.</p><p>Except it is definitely not Raven on her front porch.</p><p>No, it's not Raven at all.</p><p>"Lexa?"</p><p>"Hi, Clarke."</p><p>"Wait. What are you doing here?" She glances around the porch and the yard, trying to understand what is happening right now. Is she dreaming?</p><p>Lexa looks so shy. Standing on Clarke's porch with a couple bags at her feet and her hands fidgeting and unsure. She's wearing a leather jacket over one of her softest flannels and she's <em>here</em>.</p><p>"Well, you said you missed me so -"</p><p>Clarke grabs her in a huge hug before she can finish whatever she was going to say, not entirely believing her eyes. Lexa lets out a small <em>oof</em> before a relieved sigh and wraps her long arms around Clarke, holding her tight. Holding her close.</p><p>And Clarke hasn't been this calm in ages.</p><p>"Hi," she whispers against Lexa's neck. Breathing her in. Not ready to look at her quite yet, not ready to pull away from the entirety of Lexa. Here. With her.</p><p>"Hi," Lexa answers back, threading her hands in Clarke's hair.</p><p>"You're here. How are you here?"</p><p>"I booked a flight. I missed you."</p><p>"Yeah but you're here."</p><p>"I'm here," Lexa giggles.</p><p>Clarke does pull away now, but not far. Just enough to grab Lexa's face and bring it closer so she can claim her mouth. She's rewarded with the smallest, most pleasant sound of surprise that crawls up the back of Lexa's throat as arms tighten around her and in her hair and keep Clarke there. She swallows it down with a smile, keeping it.</p><p>It's a kiss that says more than hello.</p><p>A kiss that is deep and heady for all the right reasons even though it is gentle and both their mouths are too busy smiling too much to kiss properly.</p><p>It's a kiss that feels like coming home more than walking through this door ever has.</p><p>"Okay, but how did you get <em>here</em> here?" she pulls her lips off Lexa's and kisses that sharp jaw for a second, enjoying the quick inhale Lexa needs. She slides her hands up the lapel of Lexa's jacket just to feel her solid warmth.</p><p>"A little birdie picked me up and dropped me off."</p><p>"Oh?" Clarke changes sides. Still perfectly aware they're standing pretty much in her open front door. "Is that why she was running late?"</p><p>"Mhm," Lexa hums. Her patience waning. She tries to dip back in to taste Clarke's mouth again but Clarke moves out of her way with a grin.</p><p>"Wait. Raven dropped you off… and left?"</p><p>Lexa smiles and nods. Her eyes are dark. "She did."</p><p>"Does that mean I don't have to spend the morning working?"</p><p>Lexa leans in, and her breath dusts Clarke's lips. "It does." Her nose brushes against Clarke's cheek and Clarke is no longer driving this bus.</p><p>"Isn't this just peachy," she says, pulling Lexa inside with her bags and her jacket and her boots and a wicked smile on her face.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>"Okay," Lexa pants. "So," she says as she falls back against the sheets, her arms coming up to rest on her forehead as she gasps for breath. "Good surprise?"</p><p>Clarke just laughs. Her thighs resting around Lexa's hips and her hands roaming Lexa's torso, feeling her wherever she can, loving the way Lexa looks in her bed. She leans down and gives Lexa a sloppy kiss. "The best surprise."</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah," Clarke purrs and slides on top of Lexa more fully, if only to press small easy kisses against her face. "I am so happy you're here."</p><p>"Well, you did make <em>that part</em> pretty clear about three minutes ago…"</p><p>Clarke rolls her eyes. "Good to see your nerves have worn off now. Should I expect more of this?"</p><p>"Of the really hot sex? Absolutely. Of my sass? I think you know the answer."</p><p>A full, silly grin overtakes Clarke's face. "Good."</p><p>Lexa matches her, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks rosy red. She looks perfect. "Good."</p><p>"I do have one request, though?" She sits back up, happy with the view below her. Lexa nods, threading their fingers together as she waits for Clarke to continue. "I will need some food if we plan on doing that again."</p><p>Lexa laughs, "Was Raven supposed to feed you this morning?"</p><p>"Yes, and we've got maybe about another fifteen minutes before it gets dire up here."</p><p>There is a challenge loaded in the way Lexa's eyebrow raises. Suddenly she is being flipped on her back and Lexa is smirking down at her. "Fifteen, you say?"</p><p>She spirals into laughter attempting not very hard to shove Lexa off of her. "<em>Lexa</em>," she groans.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>When Clarke finally makes it downstairs there are a few messages waiting for her on each of her cell phones - left behind forgotten and on her kitchen counter. Lexa is washing up in the bathroom and Clarke needs to make more coffee, grab some water, definitely try to figure out what they're going to eat.</p><p>She opens Raven's messages first, laughing at the jokes there but so grateful for her friend arranging this surprise for her. There is a pared-down schedule for the next few days and a picture of a familiar bakery bag sitting outside on the chair on her porch. She types out a very effusive thank you and grabs the snack from outside, arranging Lexa's luggage less haphazardly inside the front door.</p><p>The shock of Lexa on her front porch, in her bed, up in her bathroom, has not worn off. How on earth is this her life right now?</p><p>Raven has supplied her with a few of the scones she was already planning on eating today, as well as some croissants, the fruit tart she loves, and a giant heart shaped chocolate chip cookie with pink and red sprinkles because of course she did.</p><p>Clarke rolls her eyes but smiles all the same.</p><p>She gently shuts the door as soft footfalls pad down the stairs and into the room and her heart leaps into her throat. They've spent the last hour or so tangled in sheets around one another but Lexa still looks shy and unsure. Soft and small and so cute.</p><p>"Hi," Clarke says gently. Lexa is wearing the sweatpants Clarke left for her on the bed and the tank top Clarke remembers peeling off of her a while ago. Her hair is pulled up into a messy bun and she is perfectly unkempt.</p><p>"Hi." There's a smile and a light in her eyes. "Food?"</p><p>"Ha, yes. Raven left us some treats! I was just about to make some more coffee - unless you prefer something else?"</p><p>"Coffee is good," she replies, looking calmer by the second. But Clarke can't help herself and steps into her space, placing a hand on Lexa's stomach to kiss her softly.</p><p>They retreat to the kitchen and Lexa takes her space on one of the stools at the island. Clarke is amused at the role reversal, remembering how tired and out of her element she felt that first night at Trikru. Wondering if she looked as shy as Lexa does.</p><p>Lexa who was naked and writhing beneath her not long ago.</p><p>"So, care to tell me how you two managed to pull off this plan? Because, honestly, I cannot believe you left the inn this weekend." Clarke spins away from the coffee pot and pins Lexa with a look.</p><p>She's rewarded with a gentle laugh and a cocky smirk. "Well, there was this girl who was very sad about not seeing me for a while and I figured I'd try to see what I could do about that."</p><p>"Tell me about this girl," Clarke leans onto the counter, knowing full well what it does to her chest and feeling the effect of Lexa's eyes dropping right where she wants them. "Is she hot?"</p><p>"So hot."</p><p>Clarke grins. Reaches out and grabs Lexa's hand to play with on the counter. "I missed you."</p><p>"I know. That's why I'm here, duh." Lexa smirks. Clarke is happy to know the playfulness has not been lost in the weeks they've been apart.</p><p>"Is it? I thought it was to get laid by a hot girl?"</p><p>"Yeah, that too. Have you seen her around anywhere?"</p><p>Clarke scoffs and Lexa laughs and tugs the pastry bag closer to her. "Are these the scones Raven was talking about?"</p><p>"She told you?" Lexa nods. "Yes, yes they are. We eat them more often than anyone should know about. I can't wait for you to try one, babe."</p><p>Lexa blushes. Clarke swoons with the rosy tint alive on those perfect cheeks, adorning that killer jawline. Lexa is here. In her kitchen. Looking at her <em>like that</em>.</p><p>"Did I pout too much?" she asks quietly, suddenly hit with a wave of guilt over Lexa dropping everything to be here. She thinks about how grumpy she's been for the past couple of weeks - stressed with this draft and fittings and being so far away physically and with a time difference. It's quiet for a long second, just the sound of the coffee maker working away in the background.</p><p>Lexa leans in closer, grabs her hands and twines their fingers together to earn all of Clarke's attention. "No." She shakes her head and holds Clarke's gaze. "There is no <em>too much</em>. I want to be here with you. I wanted to surprise you. The whole grand gesture." She blushes again. Clarke wonders if there is ever a possibility in this lifetime where she won't absolutely adore seeing it.</p><p>"You're setting the bar really high for surprises and gestures you know," she teases quietly. But gets closer, ever closer. Needing to be as close as she can right now. Feeling so vulnerable she's surprised the sun streaming through the window hasn't burned her.</p><p>She's met with an answering hum, as Lexa closes her eyes and tilts her head forward against Clarke, dropping her hands only to wrap her arms around Clarke's waist and hold her. Clarke buries her face in Lexa's messy hair, breathing in the smell of it. Familiar shampoo and Lexa's sweat.</p><p>A moment of pure, unadulterated peace.</p><p>This kitchen feeling for once like an actual home.</p><p>Clarke has been here for years. There have been parties and friends, late nights with Raven and her mother, tears, and laughter. There have been significant others, short term and longer. But there has never been <em>this.</em></p><p>She's not sure what she did to get it, but she's not letting go.</p><p>"But you said so many times that it was your busy week."</p><p>"They can handle it." She squeezes around Clarke even tighter. "I missed you haunting my inn, cooking in my kitchen, stealing my shirts. It feels like this winter is relentless," it sounds like a confession. Whispered in hushed tones against Clarke's shirt.</p><p>She drops a few kisses against the crown of Lexa's head. Cupping her cheeks and tilting her face back up to meet her mouth in a kiss that is achingly tender.</p><p>It just about cracks her wide open.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>"How long are you here?" They're sprawled on the couch in a sleepy happy haze when Clarke picks her head up off Lexa's stomach and asks the question Lexa is surprised it took her this long to ask.</p><p>"I'm flying red-eye on the 16th," she answers quietly. It's not long enough. Nothing will ever be long enough when they're just visiting.</p><p>Clarke nods. "So that means you're good with staying in tonight right? I have time to take you out to a couple places after?"</p><p>"Oh yeah," she yawns. The early morning flight and physical activities of the afternoon have caught up with the three hour time difference in her body. "I was hoping to hibernate with you as much as possible."</p><p>Clarke trails her fingers along the slip of skin between shirt and sweatpants sending a shiver up Lexa's spine.</p><p>"That can definitely be arranged. Would it be okay with you if I moved one of my work meetings with Niylah here instead of going to hers with Raven?"</p><p>"Whatever is comfortable for you guys - don't let me get in the way. Do you have a library I can hide in somewhere around here?" She enjoys the way Clarke smiles at her comment, having missed the ability to see her face like this.</p><p>Lexa has somehow almost entirely forgotten what it feels like to be in Clarke's presence. The way she exudes that something extra. The way that it is so hard to look at her, yet looking anywhere else is out of the question. How Clarke just being Clarke is almost too much to bear and not even close to enough at the same time.</p><p>How she seems somehow so much more than human.</p><p>And the way she looks at Lexa. It's jarring. Earth shattering. A complete reality altering experience.</p><p>"We'll figure it out. It's only a couple of meetings and Raven has been texting me some updates and stuff."</p><p>"Hey - when you're at the inn and I have to work you respect that. It's the same here, okay?"</p><p>There is a small look of relief on her face when she looks back up at Lexa. It catches her off guard. "Okay." She drops a kiss on Lexa's stomach and turns her attention back to the movie they're halfway watching on tv in their late afternoon laze.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>The first night and next day and a half pass in a wonderful easy spell. There is Clarke. There is so much Clarke. With exception to her revisions meeting and a few quick calls here and there, Clarke has devoted most of her attention to Lexa.</p><p>It is overwhelming in the best way.</p><p>So different from Clarke's time at the inn. So different from Lexa's stolen moments away or off.</p><p>This visit is a completely different world in which Clarke is smitten and attentive and happy. So happy. And Lexa matches her beat for beat.</p><p>They've snuck out a few times. To that cafe Clarke loves a few blocks away, to an artisanal ice cream shop, to a burrito truck that Lexa admits ruins any and all future burritos she'll ingest in her life while she sits in Clarke's front seat and eats with a view of the city lights, the windows rolled down and music playing softly in the background.</p><p>It's wild to be in Clarke's presence while they're out. Because to Lexa, she is still Clarke. But to everyone else, she is <em>Clarke Griffin.</em></p><p>Lexa ignores the part of her brain that tries to remind her that just a few short weeks ago, she was <em>Clarke Griffin</em> to Lexa, too.</p><p>The atmosphere always noticeably shifts whenever Clarke enters a public space. Lexa had been thrown by it at first when they grabbed coffee and more scones the morning of Lexa's first full day in LA. Though it was clear that everyone was used to Clarke due to her frequent stops, and the very fact that Clarke did not seem at all out of her element or nervous when they walked in, the room still shifted.</p><p>A friendly barista greeted Clarke with a smile and asked if she wanted her usual order, which she did. And another yelled <em>hey</em> from the pastry case like Clarke was any old regular. The few people in there seated at the small circular tables by the windows barely looked up from their MacBooks where they sat typing loudly away. But. They did look up. And Lexa noticed the widening of eyes.</p><p>For the first time felt awkward standing next to Clarke. Unsure. Out of place.</p><p>Until Clarke looked at her with an easy smile and pulled her sunglasses up over her head and asked her what she wanted.</p><p>Just like that some of the nerves melted away and Lexa softly ordered one of the latte specials they were advertising on the board and a ham and cheese croissant and didn't fight when Clarke put her hand around Lexa's wrist to stop her from paying.</p><p>Clarke, Lexa has learned, makes easy conversation with baristas, waiters, just about anyone who crosses her path - asking about pets and significant others and she is charming. So charming. Lexa watches her willing the butterflies in her belly to calm down just a little bit. Blue eyes always drift over to find her wherever they are and Clarke will smile that smile that makes Lexa's knees weak and threaten to bobble and she can sense the pride and excitement that Clarke carries for her. It feels like a new layer, seeing Clarke like this. In her regular spots. Out in the world interacting with whatever comes her way.</p><p>And it feels right and good. To be part of Clarke's life like this.</p><p>To see this person as she is in full. Not the one who could hide at the inn and not the one on the red carpet in front of screaming fans, but the one who exists right in the middle of all of it.</p><p>Clarke. In all of her dimensions.</p><p>And Lexa, Lexa is more in love than ever.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>Before Clarke starts her car she takes a deep breath and one last look at Lexa buckling her seatbelt in the passenger seat. She looks so good here in Clarke's car. Her sunglasses and her leather jacket and her boots. Just a level of effortless cool that more than half the people in this godforsaken town could never touch in their wildest dreams. "You're sure you're okay with coming along?"</p><p>Lexa smirks and if her eyes weren't blocked Clarke would see a perfect eye roll. "Clarke. Yes. It's lunch. I like lunch. You've been talking about wanting to try this place nonstop. I'm good."</p><p>"It's a <em>working</em> lunch though. It's not just chit chat and gab."</p><p>"Wow, please never use chit chat and gab ever again. And, I know. It's okay." Her hand lands on Clarke's knee and she gives a pleasant squeeze. "I'm interested in your movie and remember, they were already here yesterday..." It's her grin, Clarke thinks. She could get away with anything with that grin.</p><p>"You make a good point," Clarke says and leans over to press a kiss to said grin. "Plus, we're already late, so..."</p><p>"Yes, well. Who's at fault there?" her reply is so dry that Clarke almost hates her.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>The setting for their afternoon script meeting is a new funky little spot that just opened up by Niylah's house offering a perfect excuse to try it out. The hostess led them to a semi-secluded table in the back without Clarke having to ask, and the waiters have not even batted an eye at her. That along with the meal makes this place a win in her books.</p><p>Lexa is enchanting during their lunch. Offers an outsider's perspective to a few story points they've been discussing with Niylah and trying to really hammer out and it helps to have someone at the table who hasn't been swimming in this property for months. Fresh eyes. Fresh insight. Clarke is equally impressed, relieved, and a little bit turned on. Watching Lexa opine about the finer points of narrative structure and storytelling techniques is a completely new side to her.</p><p>"Okay, cut the shit, Lexa. Where'd you get that from?" Raven asks after Lexa spirals off a theory that causes Niylah to beam at her from across the table.</p><p>"I'm not sure what you mean, Raven?"</p><p>"Where do you get off talking about the Commander's inner motivations like that? Has Griffin been spilling secrets?" Raven is overexaggerating her exasperation because of course she is, because she's Raven and they've been circling around this character build for weeks.</p><p>"I <em>did</em> read the book…" Lexa sits up a little straighter and smirks, no, preens.</p><p>"Hey, nope, nuh-uh. Don't pull me into this," Clarke speaks at the same time as Lexa and they share a look.</p><p>Niylah laughs, "I think what Raven means is, most people haven't actually picked up on that or spoken to it as eloquently as you just did and she's impressed and also frustrated that you uncovered it. It's one of the main things we're digging in on with the Commander of the Blood in this script."</p><p>Raven crosses her arms and sits back in her chair. "Yes. That. Explain yourself."</p><p>Lexa shrugs and offers a relaxed smile, "What can I say, that character really resonated with me and I felt drawn to her. This is just me theorizing."</p><p>Clarke leans in with an overdone stage whisper, "Babe - your theories are, uh, spot on."</p><p>"Guess you should have asked me to lunch sooner then," she retorts, not at all interested in hiding the smug look on her face.</p><p>"Actually, now that we're on the subject," Niylah interjects and leans across the table, "can I pick your brain a little bit more?"</p><p>"Oh fucking hell, here we go. Clarke, your girlfriend is <em>not</em> ending up with a writing credit on this."</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>Clarke walks softly back into the living room typing something out quickly on what she jokingly dubbed her Hollyweird phone - the one she only uses for work. She looks… frazzled. They're just back from a delicious dinner adventure at a small, out of the way Thai place that Clarke swears by. Lexa made her vow to never tell Anya that it was the best Thai food she'd ever had. Clarke had cackled before holding up her pinky finger to solemnly promise Lexa that all of her food secrets were safe, her eyes alive with mirth and mischief. Lexa's stomach swooped down to her feet.</p><p>The constant buzzing of said work phone derailed what was turning into a very hot and heavy makeout session on the couch that would have most definitely led to more than making out while keeping all the hot and heavy.</p><p>Lexa is still, admittedly, lost in a daze of deep messy kisses, moans, and grabby hands.</p><p>"Everything alright?"</p><p>"Your Instagram is still private right?" Clarke asks, setting her phone on the coffee table and plopping onto the couch, jostling Lexa as she does. It is not what Lexa was expecting and does enough to clear the lust from her mind.</p><p>"Yeah… why?"</p><p>She runs a hand through her messy waves. Lexa has enjoyed messing up Clarke's hair as much as she can when given the chance. "Well… we may have, uh, been spotted together earlier and one of the gossip sites just picked it up."</p><p>"Oh." Lexa's mouth is suddenly dry and the room seems a little off. "Okay."</p><p>"Listen," Clarke turns to face her and places a hand on top of hers where it sits on the couch. "Marcus and my team can handle this, but I've already noticed some comments and mentions on my socials so. I think the cat is out of the bag," she says quietly and scrunches up her face the way she does when she's nervous about Lexa's reaction. Lexa has yet to remain unaffected by it.</p><p>"We knew it was a possibility. And we knew it would happen at some point. It's okay."</p><p>"Lex..." Clarke searches her face looking for any clues that may sit there.</p><p>If she thinks about it, really thinks about it, it's easier with it out. They've been trying not to hold hands or walk too close together the few times they've gone out. By some mutual unspoken agreement that they wanted to remain unknown to the world at large for a little bit longer. "What did they get?"</p><p>"He's sending the pictures over. But, honestly, I'm not sure? I don't think it'll be anything bad it's not like we've been jumping all over each other in public," She smirks and Lexa knows she is trying to lighten the mood for them both. "I didn't check Twitter but, uh, from the sounds of it I'm pretty sure I'm treading at least in LA right now."</p><p>"Right. Clarke, really, it's okay. I have everything set to private and you're right. Anything they have would just be speculative. Besides, it's not like I would hate for the world to know you're off the market."</p><p>Clarke's eyes cut to hers and gleam as she says it. "Off the market you say?"</p><p>"Mhm."</p><p>"That's good to know," Clarke responds.</p><p>"However," she leans in wanting to kiss the worry off of Clarke's face. "I will be upset if they use gal pals."</p><p>The resounding bark of laughter that bursts forth from Clarke's lips breaks any uneasiness there may be left.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>The pictures that come through are so boring not even Raven will be able to sass. They show the two of them walking down the street earlier in the day as they walked to the restaurant from the car. Sure, they're walking a <em>little </em>close and Clarke is positively beaming at Lexa after something she's said, but Lexa is looking down, hands in her jacket pockets. Both of them are wearing their sunglasses and they just look so <em>normal.</em></p><p>She's not gonna lie. It does something to her to see photographic evidence of the way Clarke looks at her. Because she knows what it feels like to be on the other end of it but to have the whole world see this? Astounding.</p><p>The captions are all pure speculation about <em>Has the captivating Clarke Griffin finally moved on?</em> <em>Can't say we'd blame her, this mystery woman is a definite upgrade from floppy haired fuck boy Finn Collins.</em></p><p>"See? Mystery woman, <em>oooh la laa</em>," Lexa singsongs.</p><p>Even Clarke lets out a huge sigh of relief and proceeds to work her way onto Lexa's lap to celebrate. Lexa laughs into her mouth and they have to pull apart.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>They've somehow made it up to Clarke's massive bed. She doesn't remember how or when they decided to make the move but here they are, spread out and sweaty. If Lexa could, Clarke is pretty sure she'd be purring right now. Content and relaxed and just… Clarke's heart nearly bursts when she looks at her and the sleepy sated smile that half disappears into the pillow below her head.</p><p>"It's not nice to stare," she mumbles.</p><p>"Can you blame me?"</p><p>"Hmm.. no," Lexa hums and wiggles closer. They have to get up and actually get ready for bed but not yet. Not yet.</p><p>"What would you say if I used my pull to get us a brunch reservation tomorrow?" What she neglects to add is that this idea only came to her once their pictures were picked up and run earlier. It doesn't feel as big to ask now. To be spotted out at a restaurant on a day when everyone will assume what they want. What is actually truth.</p><p>Lexa's eyes pop open. "I'd say you better. I love brunch. Flex your pull, movie star."</p><p>She laughs and adjusts on her side so she's facing Lexa. Can run her fingers along the skin on Lexa's back. "Yeah? Even though it's <em>the big day</em>."</p><p>"Mhm. Brunch me up, Griffin."</p><p>"It sounds like a euphemism when you say it like that." Clarke wiggles her eyebrows for effect and enjoys the way Lexa huffs with a laugh. She feels ribs expanding beneath her hand with every breath and it grounds her to the here and now.</p><p>"Have we not done enough euphemizing for you?"</p><p>"Not nearly," she says around a yawn, snuggling in and closer to Lexa and the warmth she radiates. "You're good with this plan?"</p><p>"I'm good with the plan. I told you. Off the market." Of course, Lexa knows the real reason she's asking. What is being left unsaid. It's one of the reasons Clarke has fallen so hard for her. She just <em>gets</em> Clarke. <em>Sees</em> her. The real her.</p><p>"Off the market," She repeats and seals it onto Lexa's lips with a kiss.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>The restaurant Clarke has flexed her cred to get them into is a large patio style space on a corner lot a neighborhood or two over from her house. It's bustling and busy already, even though it is early afternoon. The sun is warm on her skin and the day's temperature is high enough that she does not need a jacket - a welcome respite to her usual mid-February wardrobe. There is something to be said about living in Southern California after all.</p><p>Clarke beams at her as they exit the car and walk quickly up the short path, bypassing the line that wraps around the block. Lexa does not see any cameras out and pointed, or any hungry paparazzi staked outside which makes her feel even better - though that does not mean they're not there.</p><p>The hostesses are expecting Clarke and they're shown right to their table without question. Several big names are scattered around the open floor space as they pass through the restaurant, even one of the national team soccer players here with her wife and Clarke has to tug on Lexa's hand to get her attention with an amused look. They're brought to a space near the back, bordering on the back patio and close to the open doors and windows.</p><p>Clarke has somehow picked the ideal place to take them for their first real, big, outing.</p><p>"Really, Lex," she leans in across the small table before the waiter stops by to take drink orders. "The gawking was adorable."</p><p>"I was <em>not </em>gawking."</p><p>"Babe, you were. I hate to break your cool but you definitely were. It's okay though, you had a good run of days here in LA before your first gawk."</p><p>Lexa groans and folds her head in her hands for a moment. "Ugh." Her heart flitters at Clarke's peal of laughter.</p><p>"I love this place, and so do a lot of people. I see someone every time I'm here."</p><p>"That must mean the food is good?"</p><p>"It's amazing," Clarke looks up at the ceiling to highlight her exaggerated point. "I want you to try like, ten different things but also they always have off-menu specials on Sundays so…"</p><p>"You're adorable." That gets Clarke blushing and flustered. "Order whatever you want, I'm game."</p><p>"You just said the magic words, you know that right?"</p><p>"You have met my best friend and business partner - do you think I have any control when I go out to eat?"</p><p>Clarke throws her head back with another delicious laugh and Lexa almost wishes they made the choice to stay in and continue their long, stretched out, slow and melty morning in bed.</p><p>Because it was. Melty. The way Clarke kissed her this morning, the way they touched each other and moved with one another, was something new and different and achingly stretched.</p><p>Lexa has to admit that waking up in bed with a person she is feeling deep, deep, things for on Valentine's day was extremely wonderful cliches be damned. Or maybe it's just the waking up in bed with a person she's feeling deep, deep, things for after a stretch of days where the two of them have explored those deep, deep feelings inside and outside of the sheets.</p><p>And she loves the way Clarke looks at her now. Across the small table of a very public restaurant, on a very sunny morning. And she would not throw away the chance to see Clarke this relaxed and happy, will never do that. When the waiter comes over and greets Clarke with a happy smile and asks how her drafting is going, Lexa is not surprised. Clarke perks up and fills him in on some details and Lexa watches it unfold before her. That charming side of her cropping up again - the one who is so kind and friendly to the people she regularly sees - enchanting all of those around her.</p><p>Clarke introduces Lexa with a huge smile. "Jasper, please tell her if you have any drink specials today because that's pretty much the only area I'm letting her drive today."</p><p>Jasper laughs, "Alright. Sounds like you're in for a treat today, Lexa." He rattles off a few of the themed drinks and they're all a hard pass - too sickly sweet and fruity.</p><p>"I'll stick with a regular good old bloody mary if that's okay."</p><p>"Classic, I like it. We have a great one here so you won't be disappointed."</p><p>"I'll take the same, Jas."</p><p>"Sounds good, should I take your food orders now, too?" He asks, not missing a beat. Seemingly used to how Clarke handles herself at this particular establishment. She nods and rattles off what sounds like way, way too much food for the both of them, on top of the Sunday special and he scribbles furiously on his pad, having to flip the page twice.</p><p>Once he leaves, Lexa runs her hands through her hair and sits back in the wicker chair. "Not quite sure we ordered enough."</p><p>"You know, you can give me shit about it all you want but just wait until you try everything. Also, at this place, if I don't… the chef literally comes out of the kitchen with plates for me so," she shrugs and looks a little smug as she says it.</p><p>"Oh? Have a habit of befriending chefs now?"</p><p>"Well, this one I've known since high school."</p><p>Lexa is intrigued by the news, the new piece of history Clarke has just given her. "Okay, I'm gonna come back to that but, when you said you'd have to flex, how hard was it really for us to get in here?"</p><p>Clarke has a sly look on her face. "Madi just had to tell Wells what time we wanted to eat and it was done."</p><p>"Alright, alright, that's kind of sexy. You get points for that. They make up for the ones you just lost by not ever revealing until this very moment that you <em>also</em> have a chef friend."</p><p>"Can't dole out all my secrets at once, babe. Gotta keep you interested," she sasses back but her foot runs up Lexa's calf as she does and Lexa, who wasn't even upset to begin with, doesn't care any longer to keep up the charade. "There are some major perks to this job, I'll have you know. Also - I'm pretty sure Anya knows about this? It's not something Raven would have kept hidden."</p><p>"You do know that Anya still hasn't told me personally what they're up to though."</p><p>"So weird. Raven has not and will not shut up about it sometimes. Wait, how did she react when you asked for Raven's phone number?"</p><p>"Oh - get this," Lexa laughs, "She walked away from me and hid in the cooler."</p><p>"They are a match made in heaven, I'm telling you. Is everything going okay at the inn?"</p><p>"I wouldn't know. My texts have all gone unanswered."</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"I'm pretty sure Anya threatened them with pain of death by a thousand cuts or something if anyone texted me while I was on vacation, so I'm not surprised."</p><p>"That intense huh?"</p><p>"Yeah, Lincoln made a comment when he dropped me off at Logan. I am notoriously bad at not working so I guess Anya felt she had to take drastic measures."</p><p>"Just another thing we have in common it would seem."</p><p>They pause for a moment as Jasper comes back with their drinks and a pitcher of cold water for the table. Lexa can tell from the first sip that she made the right choice, everything about this drink hits all the right notes.</p><p>"So… how many dates have you brought here?" She means it to be teasing, wanting to hear more of Clarke's history.</p><p>Clarke blushes and flusters again and opens her mouth a couple times trying to decide the right answer. "You know. This place isn't one of my moves if I'm being honest. This is a comfort place for me. I don't bring people here who I don't care about."</p><p>Lexa was mainly just trying to get a rise out of Clarke and was not expecting the bare truth of her answer or the way their eyes lock as she says it. She feels a little foolish for asking and lays her hand on top of Clarke's where it rests on the table in silent apology.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>Clarke's smugness only grows with each bite Lexa takes. Seven plates adorn the small table between them, but they make it work. And, Clarke knows that these plates carry half portions for them - Wells caught on quickly to Clarke's ordering habits.</p><p>"You're gonna have to roll me out of here," Lexa leans back with a groan and places her hand on her stomach. "Oh my god, everything is amazing."</p><p>"Told you."</p><p>"You did. You were right."</p><p>"Get used to saying it," Clarke winks. As she does so, something catches her attention out of the corner of her eye. "Damn," she whispers. It was all going so perfectly.</p><p>"Hmm?"</p><p>"You know how I said I see famous people every time I come here?" she waits for Lexa to nod, which she does. "Well, Emerald just walked in. They have a small entourage."</p><p>Lexa's eyes go wide. "Emerald? Really?" She leans forward to get a look. "Wow."</p><p>"Yeah. That means… there may be some cameras outside."</p><p>Of course there will be cameras outside. Emerald, the biggest most sensational new pop-star taking the world by storm does not go anywhere at all without announcing their location and courting the press. On the upside, this will be fantastic for Wells.</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>"Shit, okay we can sneak out the back but the car is parked kind of where they can still see us." Clarke's mind races ahead, trying to figure out how to avoid what will be a chaotic exit.</p><p>"You want to make a run for it, huh?"</p><p>"So bad."</p><p>"Slinking around is fun," Lexa says, sounding more amused than Clarke would have expected. Also, perhaps, maybe a little bit naive.</p><p>"If we thought yesterday was weird, this is a whole new ballgame."</p><p>She tips back the last of her bloody mary and licks her lips. "Maybe it's the full stomach and the alcohol talking, but, bring it on."</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>Even sneaking out the back and around the corner that is clear of the line of those waiting full of hope to get in and grab a table, it's still worse than Clarke would have thought. Not only has Emerald's presence brought the paparazzi out in full force, but the paps also got wind of several other couples present inside and it's… <em>a lot</em>. There are way more cameras and iPhones than Clarke has seen in a while outside of her red carpet appearances.</p><p>None of them are pushy or aggressive, but they are <em>very</em> excited to be seeing Clarke and her new flame as they shout at her. After yesterday's picture, she knows they're all jumping for joy at their luck. It's one thing to get alerted to a celebrity presence and show up as planned, it's quite another to stumble onto a new hot storyline that just dropped out of the sky.</p><p>There are shouts for Lexa's name, information on her, how long they've been dating, jokes about Valentine's day, Gal Pals, on and on and on in a circle. Clarke hears Finn's name a few times and rolls her eyes behind her sunglasses, taking care not to glower for the cameras. She holds a semi-neutral face, if not something that swings up a little bit when she thinks about the hand holding hers.</p><p>And Lexa does not let go. Not even when Clarke gently tried to as they exited the restaurant. She just held on tighter, so Clarke holds on tighter, too. Keeping Lexa close behind her and bodily blocking her as much as possible from the intrusive snaps and clicks and shouts.</p><p>It's only when they make it close to her SUV does she turn around and politely ask for privacy and thank them for backing away. They do, but only until Clarke and Lexa hop in and she drives them away up the street. They make sure to capture those moments, too. Because of course they do.</p><p>Clarke eases the car to a stop at a red light a few blocks away and takes a deep solidifying breath. "Fuck."</p><p>They'd each been silent up until then, processing what just happened. She's afraid to look at Lexa.</p><p>Terrified.</p><p>Even after their talk last night, nothing could have prepared Lexa for the swarm that just met them. Hell, nothing could have really prepared Clarke for it either. She'd only been through that many a few times and hasn't had to deal with hungry cameras like that in over a year. She'd never dealt with it this early on in a relationship, either. Her hands are shaking as she grips the wheel.</p><p>"Is it always like that?" Lexa asks quietly from the passenger seat.</p><p>"No. I haven't seen anything like that in a long time."</p><p>She sees Lexa nod her head. The light turns green and they're off again, the silence starting to weigh on her and the rich, delicious food they just ate churns in her stomach.</p><p>It was too much too soon.</p><p>"I'm so sorry, Lex. I shouldn't have put you through that."</p><p>Lexa reaches across the center console and places her hand on Clarke's thigh. "You didn't put me through anything, you don't have to apologize."</p><p>"I do. I did. I suggested brunch on fucking valentine's day. I should have known this was a possibility."</p><p>"You did and we talked about it. I agreed...we made this decision together."</p><p>"Yeah, we did, but that was a lot."</p><p>Lexa shrugs, "This is your life, Clarke. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide it from me. What you deal with, I deal with."</p><p>She finally turns and looks at Lexa. Lexa has pulled her sunglasses up so Clarke can look her in the eyes. "Are you saying you're really okay with that?"</p><p>"I mean, is anyone okay with that? Besides Emerald," she snarks.</p><p>"Lexa, be real."</p><p>"It wasn't ideal, it was fucking nuts and really surreal. My hands are shaking and I'm sweaty, I can't really see without the flashes still burning my eyes. But it's over now."</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>The car behind them honks and startles Clarke. The light has turned green and she brings her attention back to driving, focusing only on getting them back home and back into their bubble.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>The rest of their ride is spent in shared silence. Lexa can't say that she was ever ready for facing a group of people so excited to take her picture they pretty much tripped over each other to do so. But, she also has been thinking about what her relationship with Clarke would mean in the real world since Clarke left the inn. The inn may be Lexa's real world, but that is secluded even for her.</p><p>When they get back to the house Clarke checks her texts and offers a quick apology as she heads into the kitchen to call Marcus. Lexa doesn't know how to calm her. Doesn't know how to tell Clarke that this hasn't changed anything for her. In fact, it's just made it all seem more like a reality and less like a fever dream.</p><p>Having other people know about it, about them, feels good. But, maybe that's part of what has Clarke so tied up.</p><p>Clarke comes back with two open bottles of beer from her fridge and a shy smile as she settles onto the couch. Lexa hates the way she looks, so small and embarrassed. Wants to ease the burden. She accepts the beer and takes a swig.</p><p>"You're worried." She nods and looks down at her lap. Lexa grabs her hand to try to get her attention back. "Hey. Talk to me." Lexa dips her head down and tries to catch Clarke's eyes.</p><p>"It's a lot. This life. You didn't ask for it, but I did and I love my job. But, my job comes with this. And sometimes I can't always control it. Sometimes I get ambushed like that. And my job… my job affects you, brings you into the public eye even though you're not famous. Even though we can keep things as hidden away for us as we want. It is still <em>known</em>. And," she pauses and takes a deep breath. "I don't want to hide you, Lexa. I don't want to hide you from anyone. I'm okay with people knowing about you even if all they know about you is that we're together. But, I want you to be ready for it. I don't want it to be too much. I don't want it to ruin what we have."</p><p>Her raw honesty takes Lexa's breath away. There is a very real fear alive in Clarke's eyes and in the way she cannot hold Lexa's for longer than a few seconds.</p><p>"I'm okay with people knowing about me, too."</p><p>Clarke looks close to tears and her voice cracks. "Yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah. I knew what I was getting into as much as I possibly could know up until this point. And, honestly, if <em>you</em> want to say something or post something so they don't speculate you have free rein. That's up to you."</p><p>"It doesn't scare you? Like they're going to dig. They're going to want to know anything they can about you."</p><p>"I don't have any skeletons in my closet and I run my business above board and I'm really fucking boring so."</p><p>That earns her a little scoff of laughter and Clarke's shoulders fall the slightest bit. "You're sure?" She has the biggest, saddest puppy eyes Lexa has ever seen. There is a sheen of unshed tears making them bluer than ever before.</p><p>"I'm sure," she shrugs. "<em>This</em> is not going to ruin what we have. I'm not gonna let a group of dudes I don't know who I had to deal with for a span of three minutes dictate the rest of my life, okay." She pauses until Clarke can fully look at her again.</p><p>"Lexa…"</p><p>"I mean it, Clarke. I'm more scared about you looking at me like you have since we left brunch. Of you pulling away. <em>That</em> is what scares me."</p><p>She nods, and a few tears track down her face. Lexa wipes them away, inching closer to her.</p><p>"You're really. You're just really so unexpected, Lexa. So special. I feel so lucky."</p><p>"I do, too. I'm in it for the long haul. I flew out here for fucking Valentine's Day of all things! Do you think I'd fly across the country on a surprise whim for just any girl…"</p><p>That draws a little laugh from Clarke, deep and throaty. "Yeah, but that's because you're a softie."</p><p>"Yeah. For <em>you</em>." She tucks an errant strand of hair back behind Clarke's ear. Her heart pounding loudly in her ears.</p><p>Clarke moves closer to Lexa, too. Opens herself up and allows Lexa to move even further into her space on the couch. Lexa pulls her halfway onto her lap, feeling calmer now. Steady and sure.</p><p>"Not secretly because you love V-Day but didn't want to fess up when I teased you?"</p><p>She laughs, "No, I don't love this fake holiday. It's dumb. But, I do love you."</p><p>"Lexa," Clarke gasps. Her eyes are wide and her mouth is open and it seems like Lexa has surprised her in more than one way in the past few days.</p><p>"I do," she says with another shrug and a smile she can't keep off her face. There's no use trying to hide it anymore. Trying to keep it in. Trying not to say it with every fiber of her being. There is no use pretending like she is not completely in love with Clarke Griffin. Her hands tighten around Clarke's waist and Clarke's hands scratch at the back of her neck. "Have for a while. So, I'm not really going anywhere anytime soon. Paparazzi or not-"</p><p>Clarke cuts her off with a searing kiss. Solid and grounding though her heart soars. It's a kiss so deep it reaches into her and sets every single cell in her body blazing. Lexa wants to slow everything in this moment to a crawl so that it is never ending and unchanging. This moment. The best moment. Wants to keep it locked away in an amber glow. To remember every single second.</p><p>But Clarke pulls back too soon, oh much too soon. And she looks at Lexa with a dazed wonder on her face, her mouth red and kiss bit, her eyes so clear and blue. A pretty, delicate blush on her features. "That's really great news because I'm in love with you. So much," she whispers it against Lexa's lips and into Lexa's mouth before bringing their mouths together again, sealing the very truth of them whole inside each other.</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>wow</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarkey </em>
</p><p>
  <em>you guys look SO hot</em>
</p><p>
  <em>like extremely hot </em>
</p><p>
  <em>string of fire emojis</em>
</p><p>
  <em>string of heart eye emojis</em>
</p><p>
  <em>string of sweating face emojis</em>
</p><p>
  <em>string of star eye emojis</em>
</p><p>
  <em>holy fuck am i jealous? is that what this is?!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>shit bitch happiness looks good on you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>LOVE everything about this</em>
</p><p>
  <em>can i borrow that shirt tho...</em>
</p><p>Raven Reyes. Forever hype woman. Clarke laughs at her complete nonsensical excitement, an extremely entertaining and pleasant thing to wake up to. The string of texts on her phone complement a few of the pictures taken the day prior when she ushered Lexa out of the restaurant.</p><p>And, okay. There's something to be said for the hyperbole.</p><p>Because they do, in fact, look hot in these pictures.</p><p>Lexa particularly.</p><p>With her mirrored sunglasses on her face, her effortless beachy mane of waves pulled over one shoulder, her skinny jeans and v-neck t-shirt showing off her long neck and her collarbones, her full beautiful lips looking so pouty and dewy Clarke knows more than one plastic surgeon will be shown this picture and asked to emulate them.</p><p>Damn.</p><p>If Clarke wasn't already sleeping with her she would want to be. She seems more the movie star than Clarke does. No, scratch that. She actually looks like a model. Lean and svelte and perfect bone structure underneath that expression that just cannot be taught, is innate in all its glory.</p><p>The Clarke and Lexa represented in these photos, with their hands clasped together, and their bodies close, and their full disregard for the cameras pointed at them, are the absolute definition of nonchalance and it really is something.</p><p>They look amazing.</p><p>More importantly, they look amazing together.</p><p>And so much calmer and unaffected by the noise and frenzy than they actually felt in the moment.</p><p>Seeing them here on her screen soothes her in an odd way. It's not nearly as bad as Clarke thought - though her stomach still churns when she thinks about the very real possibility that it could have sent Lexa running for the hills, back to her snowy idyllic paradise never to be heard from again. But, with Lexa's reassurance in her pocket and her love alive and draped all over Clarke, it's a new dawn.</p><p>"What are you looking at?" Lexa's voice is mumbled and gravely with sleep beside her.</p><p>"Rae sent over some of the pics from yesterday. We look pretty good." She leans over and drops a kiss on Lexa's nose, shifting so Lexa can view her screen.</p><p>"We <em>do</em>. Wow," Lexa sounds surprised, she perks up and grabs the phone to get a better look. "How do they get decent pictures through all that mess?"</p><p>Clarke shakes her head, "Who knows, it blows my mind sometimes."</p><p>"It's so weird, the disconnect." Lexa tosses the phone on the bed and flips over onto her back to stretch around a big yawn. "Like, those pictures do not display at all what that was like, and yet, I now know why people believe all this weird hype about Hollywood."</p><p>"Yep, no one has any idea what it's actually like and they make it look so glamorous." Lexa caresses her face softly, her eyes full of what Clarke knows is complete adoration for her. "At least I know what they'll be asking me on the Oscars carpet."</p><p>She sets her phone down on the table and snuggles back in the sheets, resting her head on Lexa's chest.</p><p>"You say that like it's a bad thing." Her voice has that lilting, teasing quality that Clarke loves. Several kisses land on the top of Clarke's head.</p><p>She tilts up, "It's the best thing. Speaking of, do you really still want to go to my fitting today? I can move it…I still have some of those screeners to watch, we can just have a movie day."</p><p>"I do, and you can't." She almost hates how much Lexa's <em>I'm on to you </em>face does it for her. "Plus, we can do movies and snacks after."</p><p>"Are you just trying to get a sneak peek of my red carpet look?"</p><p>"Absolutely."</p><p>"You cad."</p><p>"Can we stop at that coffee place you like again? I can't stop thinking about that latte from the other day, and I kind of also want another scone."</p><p>Clarke bursts with laughter and lightness that has become so wonderfully regular with Lexa. "We've hooked another one!"</p><p> </p><p>Xx</p><p> </p><p>It's officially the day of departure. The last day they'll be together for weeks.</p><p>Clarke has been trying all day not to think about how absolutely, staggeringly odd and empty her house is going to seem again when Lexa flies out later tonight.</p><p>Does not even want to entertain it.</p><p>Has never been more grateful for the busy schedule she has up until the Oscars and wonders if she should actually thank Raven and Madi for jam packing it tight before she can sneak back away to Trikru. To her girl.</p><p>She has enjoyed having Lexa here. In her house, making it a home in just a few short days. Almost more than that, she's enjoyed the version of Lexa that has been here with her. The one that is more relaxed than Clarke has ever seen her outside of the bedroom. Away from the inn and from the grounds, away from her duties. Lexa has barely checked her phone while she's been here and it's nice. That she can just be.</p><p>Clarke is already used to how she fits here.</p><p>To the way Lexa silently took in all the pieces of Clarke's life that first day. Her massive book collection housed in the built-in bookshelves that reside in the living room. The photos of her and her friends, her family, her dad, placed around the house. The blankets and tchotchkes. Her Golden Globe.</p><p>The way she curls up in the same spot on the couch.</p><p>The look she sent Clarke when she found her own sweater already on the corner of the bed, having been in regular use since it was stolen from Massachusetts. How she put it on to make it smell more like her again. How she wears it even now. How the pictures of the two of them Clarke is going to print out and place around the house will not come close to the actuality of her presence, but will fit in nicely.</p><p>"Hey, guess what?"</p><p>"Hmm," Clarke looks up from the laptop she's been using to try to keep herself busy and distracted from sadness while Lexa packs her clothes back into her bags at the end of the bed. It has not been working.</p><p>"No, really. Guess..." She tosses her phone back on the bed and promptly follows, letting out a tiny groan when she lands on the duvet.</p><p>"Uh…" Clarke closes her laptop and moves it aside, carding her fingers through Lexa's hair.</p><p>"It's so honestly perfect. It could not have been <em>written</em> better."</p><p>"Wait, did your flight get canceled?"</p><p>Lexa laughs and pops up on her elbows with a wide smile on her face. "I could not make this up," she says, shaking her head in disbelief. "There is a blizzard apparently, swung up from D.C."</p><p>"Have you really not been checking the weather this whole time?"</p><p>"No, why would I?"</p><p>"I don't know, I just. Seriously? If you're fucking with me, this is terrible humor..."</p><p>"Seriously. Here, look." She unlocks her phone and nudges it to Clarke. The cancelation information is still up on the screen.</p><p>"Wow, we really do have terrible luck with flights and weather."</p><p>"Or, is it really the best luck?"</p><p>"Hmm, yeah. I think it's the best luck." Lexa sits up and kisses her silly as they both lose themselves in giggles and stolen time.</p><p>Until they can figure out a more permanent solution, a more doable timeshare, living off stolen time will do.</p><p>Lexa eventually snuggles down against Clarke, wrapping her arm around Clarke's waist and nuzzling into her chest to just <em>be</em> in this moment. Clarke's hand moves under Lexa's shirt, already addicted to the warm softness of her skin.</p><p>"I was thinking…"</p><p>"Hmm," Lexa hums content with the light scratches she's receiving.</p><p>"I'd like to post a pic on Instagram… if that's okay?"</p><p>"What pic?"</p><p>"I'll show you." She grabs her phone and slides over to the one she had in mind. She took it this morning, in the early hours before the sun was even fully up and Lexa was burrowed under the duvet. Just a splash of her curly mane visible against the pillow. All of the rest of her hidden from view.</p><p>It was a sight that almost shattered Clarke in its honest simplicity.</p><p>"When did you take that?"</p><p>"This morning," she says gently. Lexa leans up and kisses the freckle just above her lip.</p><p>"Go for it."</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Mhm," she agrees, settling back down as Clarke opens her app and frames the picture the way she wants to. She thinks about using a filter but loves the grainy aspect that the dim early morning light in the room provided already.</p><p>And so it goes.</p><p>
  <em>starting to really enjoy canceled flights...</em>
</p><p>She posts it, puts her phone down, and shares an easy, tender kiss with her subject.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>never saw myself posting super cheesy stuff for this particular "holiday" but, what can i say? i love this random au that came to me when i was least expecting it. and i love my fandom friends. and i love clexa. so here we are. plus, mopey has a way of poking at me that just cannot be ignored.</p><p>also, dear reader, i love you. thank you for being here. thank you for supporting me. thank you for leaving me sweet messages. thank you. from the bottom of my heart.</p><p>maybe i'm feeling it more because we're coming up on a year of this thing. but, i'm gonna go with it. tell your people you love them. all of them. this isn't just a day for romance. palentines, galentines, valentines, whatever the fuck you want to call it. it's been a hard, cold, isolating year. love out loud. as much as you can. find happiness when and where you can and hold on tight.</p><p>stay safe out there.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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